


His Warrior Angel

by thatgeekyemo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A New Life, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Developing Friendships, Difficult Decisions, Emotional Hurt, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt/Comfort, I don’t have a beta reader so, Infinity Stones, Infinity War and Endgame AU, Internal Conflict, Natasha Romanov Is A Good Sis, Not Beta Read, Other, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker is a good person, Reader Needs a Hug, Saving lives, Second Chances, Sibling relationship goals, Superpowers, Supportive May Parker (Spider-Man), Tony Stark Is a Hero, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony and Pepper now have five adopted kids, be prepared to relive these movies, don’t copy please, everyone gets a happy ending, guess who I saved?, hopefully happy surprises, kinda sorta a rewrite, oh Chuck the feels, scenes we deserved to see, so are wings, swords are cool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25136545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgeekyemo/pseuds/thatgeekyemo
Summary: "You know you're like an angel?""What?""A badass, warrior angel."......The last Harbinger was sent to Earth by the Celestial Entities as a last hope to warn the keepers of the Time and Mind Stones, as well as humanity, about the incoming war the Mad Titan Thanos and his Chitauri army was bringing to the planet over his genocidal quest for the six Infinity Stones.On her search, she meets Peter Parker, known to the public as his alter ego: the crime fighting webslinger, Spider-Man. She forms an unexpected bond with him, and between the life he shows her and the budding feelings she begins to develop, the consequences for failing her mission were dangerously raised to the next level. A personal level she didn’t know she could ever experience.[Updates every other Friday]Disclaimer: I don’t own anything Marvel, the characters (except for Reader) or movies (except on DVD). I also don’t own any of the songs I use lyrics from or any book/movie/TV show I may mention. I’m just using them for fun and the story.
Relationships: Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Reader, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Reader, Nebula & Reader, Pepper Potts & Reader, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Reader, Tony Stark & Reader
Comments: 32
Kudos: 77





	1. zero

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_Y/N was sent to Earth as a warning._

_Thanos was coming, and she needed to protect the Infinity Stones._

_But everything changed: her mission, her life, her entire world after she met Peter Parker._

_He changed her, and in doing so, forced Y/N to make decisions she's never had too before. Decisions that began to tear her apart. Decisions that could cost her her life._

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His Warrior Angel is now here! Updates every Friday around 1PM EST 

**Warnings you should know before you continue reading:**

**—This story take place over the events of Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. It is a retelling and I follow canon to a _certain_ extent. Be prepared to relive the feels and possible traumatic events. I also have included non-canonical surprises that I wish would have happened and would hopefully shed some happiness within the story.**

**—Taken that this is the MCU, a little language is bound to pop up here and there. Nothing to worry about.**

**—The character of Y/N has her own past and personality, and it is referenced throughout the story.**

**— 1 PM is just the time I aim to update, it isn't always guaranteed whereas Friday always is. (Time may change, depending on whatever the hell is gonna happen in September)**

Whether you're coming here from my Peter Parker Imagines Book or you found this separately, I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed (minus the pain) writing it!!


	2. one

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 _All for freedom and for pleasure_  
 _Nothing ever lasts forever_  
 _Everybody wants to rule the world_  
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You lived your life in solitude. Nothingness was all you felt, darkness all you saw, silence all you heard for the past several millennia. Trapped in eternal stasis until you were needed. So when your senses flared to life, you gained control of your own body, you knew it meant only one thing. The Infinity Stones were gathering, and this time, their use would impact the entire cosmos. 

Your eyes flew open and there they stood, uniform in line. Never have you seen them before your own two eyes, but you were already knew exactly who they were.

Death was first. A dark cloak covering his frail figure, swirling into mist by his feet. There was a hood over his head, masking his pale translucent skin, sharp chin and sunken eyes and cheeks in shadow. 

Following Death was Entropy. His hands were tightly clasping each other as they rested in front of him, crossed over the metallic vest he wore. His eyebrows were drawn together from anger, his lips turned down in a scowl. 

Next was Infinity. Forever dressed in battle armor, she donned her spear in one hand. Her poised expression and slender eyes contributed to both her beauty and drew attention to the sleek helmet that held back flowing golden hair, reminding you of the regal and military role she served. 

Lastly, Eternity stood by Infinity's side. He stood bare chested even in the cold, his muscular frame the largest of the quartet. A look of anguish and longing forever etched onto his features. He was the first to move, gesturing to his equals with a subtle nod to alert them of your consciousness. 

"Masters," swiftly, you dropped to one knee, bowing your head and awaiting your orders. You knew better than to speak out of turn. 

"We presume you have rested long enough?" Eternity spoke, his voice was smooth and strong, the opposite you would expect from his appearance. But then again, the appearance of the Celestial Entities was only a mask, an identity. Their true forms could only be revealed to one another unless you wished to cease to exist. 

"Yes, Masters." You answered fluidly. 

"Good." He stopped a brief moment. "Rise, Harbinger. You are needed." 

You followed the command, rising to your feet and standing to your full length in front of them, who still towered over you. You kept your face void of emotion spare the questions that swam in your eyes. You weren't permitted to talk yet, so you waited for further instruction. 

"The Mad Titan Thanos is collecting the Infinity Stones with the means to use them to a catastrophic scale. He has succeeded in acquiring the Power Stone. Collecting the the remaining five is his goal. Your task is to stop him before he has the chance to carry out his plans. You must not fail." The words chilled you, raising goosebumps on your skin, coming from Death himself, his voice eerily echoing in the vast barren land. 

_I will not fail, Masters._ That's what you wanted to say, but the words were yet to come out. You wanted to know why you now had a new title and what happened to the others that held it. The Celestials seemed figure that out. Of course they did. 

"Speak." 

You bowed your head again before looking up at them, not settling on one of their faces but instead staring straight ahead. "Do you really believe me fit to take on the mantle of Harbinger? What happened to the others?" 

You felt compelled to meet Infinity's eyes as she spoke, her velvety voice ringing in your ears. "Thanos knew the other Harbingers were coming. He was prepared, set traps. You are our last hope, lest all life is doomed to come to an end before it is time." 

Thanos...he killed an entire army of Harbingers much more older and experienced than you. You thought that was—even with the plethora of possible things that most beings wouldn't believe—impossible. Dread and fear filled you and you knew it was dangerous to ask, but you risked it anyway, your next question coming out softly and uncertain. 

"Masters, what will happen I don't succeed?" 

A solemn expression set onto their faces. Unmoving, unblinking. Infinity filled the silence again, her voice harsh and commanding. The type of voice coming from a entity you wouldn't dare to cross. "If Thanos succeeds, he will eliminate half of all life from existence from every planet in every galaxy and trap them all in the Soul Realm forever. Very few species will thrive from this, but the majority will be too damaged to live longer than a few years before governments and systems fail and species go extinct." She paused, her beautiful features becoming grim. "If you fail, Harbinger, you are not to come back. You will have no purpose anymore." 

Silently, you nodded your head. "I understand Masters. Where must I go?"

"In three days time, a Sakaaran ship filled with the last Asgardians will set course for the human planet of Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy with Thanos in tow. One of it's inhabitants will have the Space Stone. But you need to secure the two stones on Earth first; Time and Mind. Warn their protectors to prepare for a fight." Said Entropy, it being the first time he spoke. "Find the keeper of the Time Stone. He will be able to provide you with further knowledge. We cannot help you any further." 

"Thank you Masters." You brought your fist to your chest, over your heart, as you bent at the waist in a chaste bow. They had nothing left to say as they turned around and started to walk off in the distance, you watching as they became nothing but specks in the air in a matter of seconds. 

You were alone once again, but this time you weren't going back into stasis. You stared down at your state of dress and you smiled as you realized what this meant you could do. You didn't know how long it has been since the last time you fought, how long it's been since you earned your spot as a cadet—now Harbinger—since the last time you fought and let your power course through you. 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath as you willed your outfit to change; silver and black armor enveloping your body with a light shimmer in exchange for the black fabric that previously covered your skin. You opened your eyes as your heavy sword materialized in your hand, the sudden weight making it dip down for a moment before you proudly held it in front of you, the edges sharp and your reflection staring back at you. 

Finally, your large obsidian wings sprouted and unfurled from your back. You took a moment to stretch the limbs you haven't used in a long while, glancing back at the color and realizing you hadn't yet earned the gold. Only Harbingers who complete their first mission earn gold wings. 

The fate of the cosmos was relying on you as you sheathed your sword and pushed off the ground, shooting up into the air. It might have been a while since you last flew, but you hadn't lost the ability to, just as you hadn't forgotten how to fight. You were incapable of doing so. Just as you were unable to forget orders or understand every being in the universe. 

Like a bullet, you shot through the immeasurable dark space. Flying past stars and planets, you zoomed through solar systems and galaxies until you entered the Milky Way. You slowed enough, still traveling lightspeed as you searched for the Planet Earth, soon seeing the ocean covered rock. 

You hovered above the planet, your wings flapping to keep you from floating off as you tried to connect with the Time Stone. You hadn't yet mastered the ability, and you frowned as you weren't able to pinpoint an exact location. But a state was better than a country. 

Diving down, you set a straight course for New York.

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The world around you was as alien to you as you were to the humans that inhabited it. You had seen thousands, maybe millions, of different civilizations before stasis, each unique in its own way, but nothing as different as this. 

Tall buildings tightly packed defied gravity and stood against the blue sky. Large screens projected images and video of people, products, pictures. The main mode of transportation seemed to be vehicles that moved on their own if humans weren't walking on the busy sidewalks. 

Your armored boots clanged loudly with the hard pavement as you landed in the middle of the new world. Heads turned to you as you slowly stood, and you knew you must've looked intimidating with your wings stretched to their full span and your sword by your side from the looks of fear dawning on the humans features. 

A blaring sound then filled your ears, much like a horn. Turning around, one of the vehicles was about to collide with your body. 

Your face contorted into anger and focus as you slammed your fist into the hood of the car, making it flip above and land on the ground behind you, tumbling on it's side and hitting two of the other vehicles. Sounds of crashing and tires squealing filled your ears as the other vehicles attempted to stop before they hit you, you being the cause of the blockade building up on the busy street. 

You let out a huff and went to take back to the sky to find a higher place to perch and figure out your next course of action when you suddenly felt something yanking your wings back and then a force kicking you forward and you stumbled forward, landing on the ground. 

You were being attacked. 

Without taking the time to question, you tumbled on the ground, rolling so that you landed upright on your feat and pulling out your sword in one smooth movement. Your head found the movement, a red blur pulling a passenger from the vehicle you sent flying and putting him down on the ground where he took off in a run, before he landed on the ground. In front of you was a human, but he seemed to be dressed in some sort of bodysuit. Head to toe, he was covered in red and blue with a black web design. His fists were raised like he was going to throw a punch from several feet away and you paused. You weren't here to kill innocent people, you were here to save them. 

"Who are you?" You asked the man, your voice low and authoritative. 

"Who are _you_?" You raised your head apprehensively. He sounded less like a man like you had originally thought and more like a boy. "Are you an alien? I think only aliens fly shooting out of the sky like that." 

"I am no alien," you stepped forward in attempts to talk to him, but the costumed boy took it as a sign of attack and shot something at your hand, the one holding your sword. It was sticky, much like a web. You saw the spider insignia on his chest just as he pulled you towards him, the people around you that haven't ran already now fleeing in the opposite direction. "I mean you no harm!" You shouted as you dodged another web from his other wrist. 

"I was taught not to hit girls, and I really don't want to hurt you either, so if you could work with me here that would be great." Somehow, he had caught your other hand, both of them now bound by the string he was holding. But before he could pull you any further, you jumped and twisted in air, wrapping the web around your body and bringing him to you. Rotating your wrist, you cut away the string with the blade and you landed on top of him. 

Glaring at the red mask, you pressed the edge of your sword up against his neck until he held his hands up by his head in defeat, the white eyes wide and somehow portraying the fear he felt.

"Woah! Please don't kill me! I-I haven't disappointed everyone I know yet!" He stammered.

You lessened the pressure but didn't move. "Who are you and where exactly am I?" 

"I'm Spider-Man. And- and you're in New York City. Br-Brooklyn to be exact. Now can you please put your sword away, as cool as it is? Today's one of the days I feel like living." 

You narrowed your eyes, ignoring the sirens you heard in the distance. "Do you promise to cease any and all acts of violence against me?" 

"Yes! Yeah, I won't hurt you." He said quickly. 

"And do you promise to point me in the direction of the Time Stone?" 

"The Time Stone? What is that?" You pressed the blade back to his neck and he inhaled sharply. "No-no I promise to help you! Even if I don't know what that is! Please, the police are going to be here any minute and then we'll both be done for!" 

Sitting up, you sheathed your weapon once again before standing up and outstretching your hand for Spider-Man to take. Hesitantly, he grasped your hand and accepted your help up. 

"Follow me." You commanded before flapping your wings and gaining altitude. It dawned on you a few seconds later that humans can't fly and you paused, turning around to go back down, but then you spotted Spider-Man on the ground, a red ant running until he jumped and shot a web from his wrist again, this time connecting it to one of the buildings around him, and he started to swing after you. 

Raising your eyebrows, you continued forward, making sure your speed was slow enough for him to keep up and checking to make sure he didn't go off in any other direction until you found a suitable place; a flat rooftop about a mile or two away from where you had landed. 

Touching down, you waited a little while longer, and then Spider-Man stumbled onto the roof with you, immediately hunching with his hands resting against his legs, breathing heavily. 

"For future reference," he panted out, glancing up at your unamused face before looking at his feet. "Warn me before I have to swing that long. My arms are killing me!" 

You stepped forward again, not missing the way he tensed up and immediately stood despite his exhaustion. "Are you hurt? Do you need medical attention?" 

"What? No!" To your surprise he laughed. "It's just an expression. I'm not— I'm not really dying. Although, I mean, you almost did kill me earlier," 

"I wouldn't have killed you. You're not worthy enough for your blood to be spilt by my hand." 

"Ouch." You stared at him again, trying to find the source of pain. "Again, an expression." He then told you quickly, holding out his hand to stop you from coming any closer. "I'm okay. Well, maybe my feelings are hurt, but I'd rather not unpack all that right now." He went silent as you continued to stare even as he began to mumble to himself. "How about we restart and you give me a reason why I shouldn't be fighting you right now." 

Your hand went for the hilt of your sword and you took a step back. "You promised you wouldn't attack." 

"No! No I won't, I just mean—" he cleared his throat and outstretched his hand. "I'm Spider-Man." 

"Your name is Spider-Man?" You questioned. "That seems highly questionable. Were your parents on any substances that could have influenced the naming process of their newborn?" 

"Wait, what? No! No, my name isn't _really_ Spider-Man! It's my- it's my superhero name, you know?" He sounded both heavily confused and at the same time, amused. 

"Superhero?" 

"Yeah." His arms dropped to his sides as he saw your posture relax. Well, not relax, but become less guarded. "Like a person with powers that fights the bad guys?" 

"And is that who you thought I was? A bad guy?" You asked him, blinking a couple of times as he stayed silent. 

"Um, yeah?" He paused. "Are you?" 

"If you mean to ask if I am to attack your mortal planet, the answer is no. I have come to find the keeper of the Time Stone and warn him that this planet isn't safe anymore." Spider-Man was looking at you with the eyes on his mask wide again. "Someone is coming for the stone, and if he gets it, as well as the others, the number of deaths that he will cause will be uncountable." 

"Some-someone is coming to Earth? You're saying an evil dude is gonna kill a bunch of people over some stone? What? That's insane!" Spider-Man's hands flew to his head. "Well who is this guy? We gotta take him down before he gets that thing!" 

"I can't tell you that. I don't even know if I can trust you, you don't trust me with your real name." 

"Okay, you can't do that, I mean I'm wearing a mask for a reason." He argued and a small smile quirked at the corners of your lips from his annoyance. "I don't know _your_ name either! How can I know you're telling the truth about this homicidal dude with a severe rock addiction?" 

"I have not spoken a lie in the entirety of my existence." You tell him cooly.

"Yeah, that still doesn't really help." He looked down at his feet again and kicked the ground. "Are you from Asgard? Like Thor?" He then piped, his voice becoming excited and you can only assume his eyes met yours.

You laughed. "No Spider-Man, I am not Asgardian. I was born into the nothingness, made from Creation itself. From the moment a weapon was placed into my hands and my wings sprouted from my back, I knew I was to be a Guardian of the Infinity Stones if I needed to be."

Blinking, Spider-Man stood in front of you still and trying to process what you said. " _Ooo_ kay," he then said slowly. "So to clear things up, you're not trying to kill anyone?" 

"No." You answered firmly. "Not anyone from this planet anyway." 

"And you're not Asgardian, but you're from space?" 

"That is correct, yes." 

Spider-Man sighed, turning around where he was standing, looking in all directions before stopping in front of you once more. You watched with interest as his fist closed around his mask and he slowly pulled it over his head, revealing his face beneath it. He was young, just as you thought. His brown hair was ruffled and puffed from how he pulled his mask off, and you found big brown eyes staring back at you. 

"My name is Peter." He told you, a small smile appearing on his face, paired with a short wave. "I think you should come with me. The police are going to be looking for you, you kinda caused a lot of damage, and I have a safe place you can stay."


	3. two

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 _I fell down to Earth from a hundred miles away_  
 _And somehow I still make it work_  
 _But it's overrated and somehow played out_  
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"Your home is an alley in the middle of the public?" You called to Peter as you followed him in the Spider-Man suit drop down to the ground front where you were standing on the roof. 

"No, I just have my clothes here. See?" You heard a ripping sound before Spider-Man held up a backpack for you to see. "A-actually. I gotta get changed. So...could you stay up there please? And not watch me?" 

"As you wish Peter, but me giving you privacy doesn't stop anyone walking by from watching." 

"Shh!" Peter screamed under his breath up at you. "You- you can't just say my name like that!" He groaned. "Whatever, that doesn't matter right now. Can you just, just turn around and give me a minute?" 

Complying, you turned around and stared out over the city, there were more buildings and skyscrapers than you had noticed before, you could compare it to a jungle. If the jungle was comprised of metal and concrete trees. A slight breeze blew through your feathers and hair and it felt rather nice. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, but regretted it as the air filled your lungs. It was much more polluted than you were used too, and you would have to get used to it for the time being. At least until you found the keeper of the Time Stone. 

Opening your eyes, you turned back around. Without warning, you dropped down next to Peter, making the boy jump and let out a small yelp of surprise, turning to you with a panicked look in his eyes. 

"I have given you a minute and thirty seconds in Earth time. Are you finished?" You asked him before your eyes flickered over his body, his arms fitted through the arms of his shirt but it wasn't yet covering his chest and torso. 

"Y-yeah, lemme get my shoes on." Peter said quickly, a pink blush appearing on his face as he finished putting on his shirt and then stuffed the Spider-Man suit into his backpack, zipping it up before pulling his sneakers towards him, fumbling to put them on without loosening the laces and nearly falling into the wall next to him. "Okay, I'm good." He glanced at you as he picked up his bag from the ground, slinging it over his shoulder. Then his nose and mouth scrunched as you watched him slowly look over your figure. 

"Is there something wrong?" You asked him after he didn't speak for a while. "Is something wrong with the way I look?"

"What? Yes. Uh, I mean, _no_ , you yourself, there's nothing wrong with you. You're really pretty actually. Oh damn, f-forget I said that." For the second time today, Peter cleared his throat as he looked away for a second. "It's just, you really stand out from a crowd, y'know? Especially... _those_." He gestured to your wings and you curled them close to your body. "They're really cool, but not very inconspicuous. Is there anything you can do about them?" 

"Of course." You tell him, unfazed by his blatant nervousness. Peter's eyes widened as you willed your wings to shrink back into your body, wincing a little as they retracted and your skin healed over quickly. "Shall we get going, then?" You asked, and Peter's body shivered, him shaking his head as to bring himself back from his thoughts and he gave you a soft smile. 

"If anyone asks, you just came back from Comic-Con." Peter told you and your eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "I'll tell you later. Just, come on," he held his hand out in a beckoning motion, and you didn't think he was expecting you to take it in your own. He froze for a brief moment before he let out a breath and led you out of the alley and onto the sidewalk. 

The entire time, you never let go of Peter's hand. You didn't see it being a problem. In fact, it was a bit of a comfort in this new world. Especially when after a couple of minutes of walking, you felt Peter squeeze your hand back. 

Your eyes roamed all around you as Peter steered you to make sure you didn't wander anywhere like into the streets. Every flashing light caught your eye, every person that walked by. Every vendor and every car that beeped it's horn. It all seemed amazing, it all fascinated you. The last time you visited a human planet was training; they had barely domesticated animals, and now look how far they've come. 

You had gotten the fair share of people staring at you with confusion in their eyes. You hadn't said anything, too consumed in the unfamiliar sights, but out of the corner of your eye you could see Peter giving nervous smiles and spouting out fake excuses as to who you were and why you were dressed up like you had just stepped out of Rome in 300 BC. Conversation between the two of you had to do with something new you saw, and you asked what it was and how it worked. Peter seemed to have no problem answering the questions. In fact, he didn't seem to get annoyed at all about explaining anything even though he already knew all about it. 

The sun was starting to set when you and Peter finally stopped in front of a light brown building. Both regular and foot traffic had slowed down to a light crawl.

"Come on," Peter continued to urge you to follow him, tugging your arm as he opened the glass door and the two of you entered. He let go of your hand for the first time as the two of you stopped in front of another pair of doors, this set metal, and he stepped forward and pushed a button with an up arrow, making it glow, and then stepped back by your side. 

"What do we do?" 

"Wait." Peter shrugged and you nodded your head. "So, my aunt May, she's really nice. She knows I'm Spider-Man, so I'm not asking you to keep that a secret from her." Then his voice dropped. "God, I hope she doesn't freak out." 

"Your aunt?" You questioned. "Where are your parents?" You didn't have any of your own, but you knew most species, mankind being one of them, reproduced and raised their offspring together. You realized that maybe that wasn't the right question to ask as Peter's eyes seemed to darken, his face becoming haunted for a second before he sighed and forced a smile on his lips. 

"My parents died when I was really young. In a plane crash." Your eyes widened and you leaned away from him, an apologetic look casting across your features and Peter saw it, talking before you could say anything. "You don't have to apologize, you didn't know! It's okay, really." He smiled again, and this time it was less forced. "I live with my aunt now, have been for a while. Her and...she raised me. The best aunt I could ever ask for." 

A soft ding filled your ears and the empty lobby and your gaze fell on the metal doors opening, revealing a small room behind them. "Do we...do we go in?" You ask Peter, who nods and lets out a light laugh. 

"Come on, you might like it, it'll be fun." He stepped inside and you followed him, watching as he pushed a button with a number seven on it, it too glowing the same yellow as the arrow. After a moment, the metal doors closed and you swallowed down the fear when you saw Peter bouncing mindlessly next to you. 

Suddenly, you felt yourself beginning to move up, but you weren't flying. The elevator was moving, with the both of you inside. You let out a laugh and just as you were beginning to get used to the feeling, stumbling as it came to a stop. Peter instinctly grabbed your arm to steady you and you smiled at him, Peter mirroring your face. The metal doors opened again and you followed him out of the box. The both of you were now in a completely different place, a hallway with a bunch of doors. You went past a few of them until Peter stopped in front of one, knocking on the door. 

You stood a little behind him as he knocked. "May?" You heard him say before the sound of footsteps was audible from the other side. 

"Peter? The door's unlocked, you don't have to knock," you heard a woman's voice begin as the door opened from the other side. "You're back—" She was smiling and then her eyes fell to you, her expression faltering slightly before it perked back up again, this time with a hint of confusion. "—early. Who's this?" 

"Um, can we get inside first? It's a bit of a story." Peter said sheepishly, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped, most likely hoping May didn't ask any further questions until you were inside. 

"Uh, yeah. Yeah sure, come on in." She opened the door wider, holding it open as Peter stepped in, you following his footsteps, the door closing behind you.

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"You've brought home some crazy things Pete, a dead pigeon being on that list, but I think this tops the cake." you watched as May stared at you, disbelief in her voice, and you tried to decipher whether that was an insult or not. She definitely didn't sound hostile. The opposite, in fact. "You must be so confused, sweetie," she then directed towards you, a warm and inviting smile on her face as her eyes met yours. 

"This world is interesting and exciting, but I have clear instructions and as long as I am sure of that, I am not confused." You tell her, your fingers neatly intertwined with each other as your hands rested in front of you, your weight on your right leg so counterbalance the weight of the sword hanging on your hip. 

"You can sit down you know," Peter prompted, and he glanced at the chair across from the couch he and May were sitting on. 

"Please, feel free," May agreed. "This might take a little bit for me to get used too, but if Peter trusts you, I see no reason why I shouldn't." 

"So the idea of having a stranger from outer space in your home doesn't unease you?" You asked as you carefully sat down. When you sunk into the cushion, panic filled your eyes as you momentarily thought you were falling, but then it caught you and you calmed your nerves. 

May hesitated before speaking, Peter grinning nervously at her before she opened her mouth. "Honestly, so much has happened in New York these past couple of years, superheroes, an alien invasion, this- you don't really phase me much. Besides, you seem to be just like us—"

"Except she has wings and a sword." Peter interrupted and May glanced at her nephew. 

"Yes. What he said." She sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head before opening her eyes again and looking at you. "What's your name, honey?" 

"I do not have a name." You simply answered, watching as blank expressions cast over Peter's and May's faces. 

"You don't— you don't have a name?" Peter asked, breaking the silence. 

"I never needed one, so I wasn't given one," you explain. "I do have the title of Harbinger. If you need to address me, it would be by that." 

"Harbinger." Peter repeated, May still slack jawed next to him. "Cool superhero name, but you need a _real_ name!" 

"You really _were_ born into existence, weren't you?" May asked and you nodded. "Oh, you need a name. I don't think I can call you Harbinger, I'm sorry." She gave you an apologetic smile. 

"Well, if you aren't comfortable with my title, you can choose a name to call me if you want," you offered, again, shocking the two people in front of you. 

"Woah, this must've been how Poe felt before he came up with a name for Finn." Peter mumbled excitedly under his breath, May giving him a small nod of agreement although you weren't sure what they were talking about before he spoke again. "We can't _name_ you, but you also deserve a name because you're a person." 

May stood up, yours and Peter's eyes falling onto her. I'm going to get you some clothes to change into, okay sweetie? Maybe in the meantime, you and Peter can go into a baby name website or something if you're set on finding a name?" She suggested before smiling and walking out of the room. 

"Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea." You heard Peter say softly, your eyes finding him again and narrowing as he pulled out a small rectangular object from his pocket and turned it on, the screen lighting up with bright color. 

"What is that?" You had seen objects like that on your walk here, but you hadn't asked Peter what they were. You were too busy asking about things that seemed far more important, like the animals flying through the air that seemed to drop excrement onto the ground and occasionally on the unlucky person. 

"This? Oh, it's a cell phone." He told you. "It's really cool actually, there's a lot you can do with it. Call someone, or text them, you can play games or access the internet, like I'm doing now." 

"The internet?" 

"That's a whole other conversation for another day," Peter chuckled. "That's a lot to explain." 

"So what are you doing?" You questioned, standing up and inviting yourself to sit next to him in the spot May just was in. The sinking feeling happened again, but you were expecting it this time. 

"Going to a baby name website. Y'see, it's a giant archive of a bunch of names, and from there, hopefully, you can pick one that you think suits you!" 

"Is this how humans pick names for their children? They don't make up a name of their own, your children don't earn their status?" 

"Earn their... er, no, not at least they get older and get jobs. But I mean, all names were made up by someone at some point." Peter held out his phone for you to take. "Here, you scroll like this," he demonstrated with his finger before going back to the beginning of the list. "You...you can read, right?" 

"I understand the text here, so I'm assuming so." You tell him, staring at the words on the phone, deciphering the letters through the cracks in the screen. 

"Okay," Peter let out a breath and an expression appeared on his face that you can only describe as relief. "Well, do you want anything to drink? Or eat? Do you do those things?" 

You tore your eyes from the screen in your hands and stared up at Peter as he stood, pointing to the kitchen behind him. With your eyebrows drawn together, you thought. "I have never, before. I am immortal, and therefore do not need any sustenance to survive. But there's no harm in trying, right?" A smile filled your face as Peter just gaped. Quickly, he fixed his expression, another light laugh escaping his mouth. 

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'll just get you some water and a sandwich. If you won't eat it, I will. I'm starving." 

As Peter turned into the kitchen, your focus returned to the phone. Slowly, you scrolled through the list of names, repeating each one in your head. You didn't know what you were looking for exactly, just something that _fit_ , you figured. 

"Any luck?" You heard May's voice appear, followed by her body entering the room, a pile of folded fabric in her arms. She glanced at Peter putting around in the kitchen, opening cabinets until he found a cup and then the fridge to pour water into it. 

"I'm still looking," you answer. 

"Well, I grabbed these. They looked like they would fit you. If you want to get dressed, the bathroom is that first door on your left there," She pointed in the direction of a chestnut door and you stood up, placing Peter's phone on the coffee table in front of you and taking the clothes from May. 

"Thank you. As much as I love my armor, it can get a bit uncomfortable at times." You said gratefully.

"It looks like it," May chuckled and you turned to head in the direction of the door she pointed too. 

Opening it, you found another room. This one small like the box in the elevator, and mostly white. Stripping yourself of your armor, you let everything clatter to the floor except your boots and sword; you placed the weapon carefully against the sink. You stared at yourself in the mirror for a moment. Peter had called you pretty earlier, and you took a minute to look over your features, smiling when the thought of a human finding you attractive made your chest feel warm and fuzzy. 

Examining the clothes, you slipped into the leggings and put on what you assumed to be an undershirt before pulling on a tee shirt much like Peter's, only grey, over your head. The fabric was much like the black jumpsuit you had on after coming out of stasis, except a little rougher. It was still soft, but less silky. Comfortable nonetheless. 

Gathering up your armor and sword, you carried it back out to the living room, where Peter and May were both situated on the couch again, this time a glass of water and a plate with a sandwich sitting in the table. An identical sandwich besides the bite taken out of it in Peter's hand. 

"That's great, they do fit." Said May. "I'm sorry, we don't have much room," her brow then furrowed. "I'm not sure where to put your armor for the time being..." 

"Oh, I can take care of that," you tell her and both her and Peter tilt their head confusedly. Pressing the palm of your hand to your chest plate, you closed your eyes and your armor and weapon dissipated into thin air with a golden shimmer. Opening your eyes, the two of them were staring in awe. You took the moment to grin. "I can call it back if I need it." You said, walking across the floor and back to the chair, sitting down and carefully picking up the glass. You brought the cup to your lips and took a tentative sip. The liquid was cool, and as you swallowed it down, you found it refreshing. It wasn't completely tasteless, and enjoyable. After taking a more confident sip, you placed the glass down. 

"Okay," Peter spoke, glancing at his phone and then at you. "Did you find a name yet?" 

You waited a beat before answering. "Actually, there is a name I am quite fond of." Both Peter and May were intrigued, waiting for you to continue. "Y/N seems fitting. What do you think?" 

"Perfect."


	4. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update; I was binge watching Harry Potter and my mind kinda goes into a trance from there. 
> 
> Hey, it’s National Spider-Man Day!!

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 _Why it's got to be like this?_  
 _Is this living free?_  
 _I don't wanna be the one be the one to have the sun's blood on my hands_  
 _I'll tell the moon_  
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You found yourself staring out of the partially curtain covered window, your eyes flitting over the darkened night sky. You couldn't see many stars, and you frowned. Even though you weren't conscious and couldn't physically see in stasis, you always knew the stars were there. It felt like they were there more then than they did now, where you could barely see the bright balls of gas.

"Y/N?" It felt a little weird for someone to be addressing you by something other than nothing at all or even Harbinger, but at the same time, it felt nice. Even more like you were your own being and not just a being following orders.

Peter appeared by your side and he joined you in gazing out of the window. "It's not much of a sight compared to what you must've seen in your lifetime, but it's something," he told you, and you turned your head to face him, crossing your arms.

"To be honest, I haven't seen much Peter,"

"What do you mean?" He asked and you could see the puzzled look on his face.

"What year is it?" You ask him softly.

"2018." he told you and you closed your eyes for a moment and thought.

"The last time I left, it was for my training with the other Harbingers. I was to become one of them, so I had to learn to fight like them. That was about four thousand years ago." You paused, partly waiting for a reaction from Peter since he's reacted to everything else you've said. Except this time, he seemed to be holding his reaction til the end, you could see it in his eyes, and waiting for you to finish. "But once I finished training, I was put with the rest; into an eternal sleep until I would be needed. Until the Infinity Stones needed protecting in case they fell into the wrong hands."

"You're four thousand years old?" Peter asked, his voice shocked, but quiet. May moved behind him, dropping a pillow and blanket onto the couch and then moving to join the conversation. "But you look so young! My age, even."

"I'm assuming aging works different for immortal beings." You smiled. "We, the Harbingers I'm referring to, mature slower than humans once we reach a certain age. We're like Asgardians in that aspect, except their maturity age is a bit older. Physically, I quite literally am about sixteen of your human years."

"And how long would you stay sixteen?" May asked, her hand holding up the arm that had a hand holding her face.

"I'm not sure. I would have to spend more time here on Earth to figure that out. But time is a concept we do not have much of." You crossed your arms, turning away from the window and suddenly becoming very serious. "Peter, you promised to help me find the keeper of the Time Stone. Do you have any information that will lead me to him?"

Peter grimaced, his face contorting into an apology before the words left his lips, but May interjected before he spoke. "It's getting late. Peter, Y/N, how about the two of you try and get some sleep? We can talk about this Time Stone-thingy tomorrow." You went to argue, but shut your mouth. You weren't sure if sleeping was something you could do, or if you really even needed it. You did just come out of hibernation.

"Okay," Peter answered and May patted him on the shoulder. "Come on Y/N, you can sleep in my room." Following him, he led you to the door across from the kitchen, opening it to reveal his bedroom. There were posters plastered on the wall, shelves with small toys and figurines. A desk covered in papers and a smaller version of the large box in the living room that Peter had explained to you that it was a computer after seeing it in a shop window. The large box a television. He had two beds in his room, one stacked on top of the other, except the one on top had clear totes filled with boxes and clothes. A few pieces of clothing littered the floor and Peter quickly picked them up, tossing them into a hamper near the door and grinning awkwardly at you.

"This is your room?" The answer to the question seemed obvious, but you asked anyway as you continued to look around.

"Yeah." He paused. "Do you like it?"

"It is nice." You tell him, mindlessly picking up and inspecting a tiny plastic figure of a man with blond hair and a green sword before putting it back down.

"Well, you can sleep in my room tonight," he gestured to the bed against the wall. "May is in the room just down the hall from the bathroom, but I'll just be on the couch right outside if you need anything."

The room grew silent, neither of you knowing what to say or do. After a moment, you sat down on the bed, Peter watching as you carefully took off your boots, the armor thudding against the hardwood floor lightly. You placed your hand on the mattress, pressing against it and watching as it sprung back up.

"I will be fine Peter," you tell him after another minute. "I won't explore if you don't want me too."

"Yeah, oh, um, no that's fine. Wha-whatever." He shrugged. "Like I said...I'll just be right out here," he pointed behind him with his thumb as he slowly backed away, maintaining eye contact the entire time. "Uh, good night Y/N."

You smiled. "Good night Peter." You repeated, and he seemed more at ease. Shutting off the light, Peter waved as he closed the door behind you, enveloping you in darkness.

Slowly, you laid down, lifting your legs onto the bed and laying your head down onto the pillow. You sunk a little just as you did sitting on the chair and couch, but it was oddly comfortable. You stared up at the metal bars above you, and the striped mattress. You didn't think you were tired, but the longer you laid there, the more you felt yourself becoming a sense of exhausted you'd never experienced before.

Subconsciously, you knew to close your eyes, so you did, the action plunging yourself into the familiar darkness. This was something you were used too at least. It took a little while, but soon you felt yourself slipping out of consciousness and into a deep sleep.

○○○○○○

"Okay, so this Thanos dude is coming to steal the Infinity Stones so he can wipe out half of existence?" Peter asked slowly, him and May sitting in stunned silence across from you at the table, breakfast in bowls in front of you. 

"Yes." You confirmed, swirling the cereal around in with the milk in your bowl. 

"So, what are these Infinity Stones and why are they so important?" Peter asked and May shook her head, standing up and turning back to the kitchen, muttering 'I need another cup of coffee for this.' 

"The Infinity Stones are six elemental crystals that each control an essential aspect of existence; Reality, Soul, Mind, Time, Space and Power. They are immensely powerful, and were created by the Cosmic Entities at the dawn of time. The same beings that sent me here to Earth." You began to explain. "Each Stone is considerably powerful on it's own, capabilities ranging from the power to level a city, to change reality as you perceive it, and even to turn back time. Right now, there are two of these stones on Earth. I only know the Time Stone is here, in New York. The other, the Mind Stone, I have yet to figure out. I need to find the keeper of the Time Stone, and we need to prepare for intergalactic war. There is no stopping what's to come, but I was sent here as a warning. A last chance." 

"Oh Y/N," May's voice was sorrowful with hints of fear. "I'm sorry, but we've never even heard of these stones before. I'm not sure we can help you." 

You pursed your lips, staring down at the bowl where your cereal was beginning to get soggy, and Peter spoke up, offering another option. "It's Sunday," he began. "I have school tomorrow, a field trip actually, but I can help you search today," he shrugged his shoulders. "It shouldn't be too hard." 

"Peter, I think you are highly underestimating the size of New York City," May gaped, turning to face her nephew as he began to shovel food into his mouth. "Even if you swung around all day, you wouldn't be able to search more than two boroughs, assuming the Time Stone has some kind of beacon that tells you exactly where it is!" 

"Well...does it?" Peter and May turned to you, and to their dismay, you shook your head no. 

"Last I knew, the Time Stone was under the protection of the Masters of the Mystic Arts. Find the Sanctum, which shouldn't be hard because there's only one here, we find the Time Stone." 

"I don't know what a Master of the Mystic Arts is, or where the Sanctum is, but both of those sound really cool," You couldn't help but to smile at his optimism. "We can at least try to look, that's okay, right May?" 

"What kind of a person does it make me if I stop you from trying to save the world?" She sighed, staring down into the brown liquid in her mug before looking back up and smiling. "Stay safe. I have to work today so I probably won't be here when you get back. And be home before midnight." She spoke, and Peter met your eyes from across the table. You gave him an encouraging smile. 

You dropped the topic of the world's impending doom and attempted to make normal small talk as the three of you continued eating. After cleaning up, May got you a change of clothes before saying goodbye and wishing you luck. 

"You should probably shower before we go," Peter told you, leading you to the bathroom and opening the door, turning on the light. "According to you, you haven't cleaned yourself in four thousand years," he chuckled lightly and you followed him inside. 

"How does it work?" You asked, inspecting the small space as Peter pulled back a curtain. 

"Well, you would turn on the water, get...undressed, and use soap to your hair and body." He motioned to the two knobs attached to the wall, and with a twist, water began to pour from the faucet below. "Use this one to change the temperature, I know some people like their showers really hot or like, cold, for some reason." He laughed. "And when you're ready, just push this down and the water will come out of here." He then stood up and pointed to the shower head. 

"Um, soap is here, lemme get a spare loofah, and a towel." You watched as Peter maneuvered the small space around you, awkwardly opening cabinets until he found what he was looking for and placing every item down where you would be able to access it from the shower. 

"Thank you." You tell him. 

"Yeah. Yeah, it's no problem," he said quickly. "Just leave your old clothes on the floor, I'll pick them up later." He inched towards the door. "If for some reason, you need me, I'll- I'll be here." He went to go walk out but stopped. "Be careful not to fall." He then added quickly.

Peter left the bathroom, you alone in the room for the second time, closing the door behind him. The sound of rushing water filled your ears and you bent to touch it, pulling back when it was shockingly cold. You remembered Peter told you you could change the temperature, so that's what you did until it was a suitable temperature for you. Stripping your clothes, you folded them much like the ones that were previously in your hands. Then you stepped into the tub, closing the curtain, and pressing down the button to redirect the water route. You jumped at the change, but quickly got used to it as hot water soothingly ran over your body, and soon, you started to laugh, running your fingers through your hair. 

It was a foreign feeling, but one you enjoyed. You didn't leave until you started to feel the water shift temperatures. Pulling the button, you let the water run back through the faucet, and then you turned it off completely, pulling back the curtain to grab the blue towel Peter left out for you and you wrapped it around your body. Drying off to the best of your ability, you changed into the fresh clothes, a periwinkle and white horizontally striped shirt and another pair of leggings. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, you found Peter sitting on the couch in his Spider-Man suit, mask off, and on his phone. He looked up when he noticed your figure enter the room and he waved. "Hey," 

"Hello." You greeted, walking towards him and sitting carefully down. 

"You were actually out a lot faster than I thought you would be," he started. "Wanna head out?" 

"I would ask the purpose for taking a shower if we are to leave anyway, but since I rather enjoyed it, I won't." You stood back up.

Peter blinked. "Okay," He pulled his mask over his head and you watched as it formed to his face. He watched as you summoned your armor again and before you could finish, he interrupted. "Just— no wings inside please?" He cringed, holding his hands out like that would physically stop you. He succeeded. 

"We're to just walk out?" You asked as you moved towards the front door, but Peter jumped in front of you. 

"Um, no. Usually I take the window in my room, but since I'm not sure you'll be able to fit out that one with all that armor, let's just use this one here with the fire escape." He pulls you to the other side of the living room and opens the window. There isn't much space because of the building next door, but the both of you manage to fit through. You followed Peter to the roof, where you unfurled your wings, and then the both of you took off to start your search. 

The two of you figured it wasn't best to split up, because you had no way of communicating, so you stayed relatively close while also covering separate ground. It was an hour or two after noon when the two of you had finished searching the entirety of Queens for the Sanctum. 

It was an unusually hot spring day, and you and Peter decided to take a break under the shade of a large sign. 

"Do you think if we had a better vantage point, we would be able to find it better?" Peter prompted, making you glance at him. "Preferably a building, because I trust you, but maybe not just yet with carrying me up like a thousand feet. I've done that before and I'd rather not do it again."

"What do you have in mind then?" You asked him, and he stood up from where he was leaning against the metal bars. 

"The Empire State Building?" 

"Lead the way." You stood up and followed Spider-Man as he started to swing away. 

"Okay, maybe this wasn't a good idea, you can barely see anything." Peter sighed. "But at least the view is nice." 

You let out a short laugh, gazing out into the city skyline. "Yes. It is really peaceful up here." 

"Peaceful? I would've thought you had a different meaning of peaceful. Because of you spending so long alone and in silence, you know?" 

"But that's exactly why this—" you gestured out to the city around you, "—the lights, the noise, the people..." you smiled. "It's comforting to know that I'm not alone." 

"Wow." Peter's voice was quiet. "I never thought about it that way." You felt him staring at the side of your face as you stayed facing forward. "I can't imagine what it must feel like to be alone all of that time. Even if you were asleep for most of it." 

"That's the life I was born to live." You tell him and Peter frowned. 

"You aren't allowed to leave?" 

"No, I am," You tilted your head. "All I have to do would be to request an audience with my Masters. If they approve, I would be free to live whatever life I would like to lead. But I would be stripped of my immortality if I choose to live elsewhere, because I wouldn't be a guardian anymore." 

"So _why_ don't you leave?" His voice was soft now, his body leaned in closer to yours as the both of you sat on the edge. Your wings closely folded to your back.

"I am the last Harbinger. If were to abandon my title, if somehow I were able to, it would leave the Infinity Stones unprotected in case something like this happens again." You sighed. "But sometimes, I do wish I visited more planets more often. I am able to, I just haven't had reason enough. The people, the sights, I enjoy it more than I thought I would." 

It was silent up in the air before Peter grasped your hand. "Y/N," he said, his voice filled with excitement. "I have an idea. It'll only be a short break. Come on!" He stood up, pulling you with him. "Let's go back to the apartment, I- we both need to change." 

"What are we doing?" You asked, following him as he jumped off, flipping in the air before shooting a web to catch him and he landed on the side of the Empire State Building, sticking to the windows. 

"You'll see when we get there, but trust me: you're gonna love it!" 

Twenty minutes later, you and Peter were dressed in civilian clothes again, and you were both in a cab driving the streets of New York. You hadn't been informed of your destination until Peter spoke to the driver, and you found out you were going to a place called Coney Island. 

"I've only been here a couple of times with May, but I'm pretty sure I have enough money. We're only going to go on one ride anyways, then we'll get back to work." Peter had told you as he held your hand tightly, leading you into a busy crowd full of people and small buildings. 

Your eyes were wide as you saw giant structures all around you, all with people screaming and cheering on them. Peter told you that they were roller coasters and the big circle was a Ferris wheel. He was a vessel of pure excitement after the two of you had gotten in. You were filled with wonder and curiosity, taking in all the lights and people around you, the games and stuffed animal prizes, the food and the attractions. 

Peter recommended the Cyclone, but told you that he'd rather have you choose whichever ride caught your eye. Between Peter having more money than he thought he grabbed from the small savings he had in his room, and your newfound rush of fun, the both of you definitely went past the one ride limit. 

The sun was setting and the sky darkening outside, but you had barely noticed because of all of the lights around you and hanging on strings above. Neither did Peter, obviously, as the both of you sat on an empty bench, Peter taking the occasional sip from a soda he bought for the both of you to share and you picked at the cotton candy you were holding, a large smile on the both of your faces. 

"How does it do this?" You asked him out of amazement as the pink candy melted on your tongue again, filling your mouth with the sugary sweetness. 

"It's almost like a chemical reaction, really," Peter started. "Sugar is highly hygroscopic, and since the sugar was spun into a silk-thread type consistency, it easily absorbs any water vapor from it's surroundings, or in this case, from your mouth, and it dissolves." He pulled a piece from the cone and ate some, his eyes lighting up as you looked at him. 

People were still walking past, none of them caring if it was getting late, and a little girl with a large teddy bear caught your eye. You watched as she walked past with her mother toward the exit, and your gaze fell on two people in the shadows between two booths, them being nearly hidden only furthering your curiousness as the why they were hiding. 

"Peter?" You tapped his arm, glancing at him to see if you had his attention before staring back at the people. "What are they doing? Is he in trouble?" 

It took a moment for Peter to see what you were talking about, but when he did, he started fiddling around with the straw and looked down at his hands. "Um, no, he's not in trouble," he said quickly, his voice a little wavy. 

"Then why does it look like she is eating his face?" You asked, a confused expression appearing on your face, turning to Peter, who was turning colors again. 

"They're _kissing_ , Y/N," he told you, biting his lip. "It's okay. Stop staring." 

"Well if they didn't want people to stare, why do it in a public place?" You asked but shrugged it away before you got an answer. "What is kissing anyway?" 

You were starting to regret asking when Peter suddenly looked really nervous, opening his mouth to speak, but no words coming out. You were going to tell him it didn't matter when he finally turned to you and spoke. "Uhm, well, when you kiss someone, it's telling them that you really like them. And not like in a friends way like 'you're cool, dude,' but more like 'I want to go to the next step'. Romantic feelings." 

"Hm," you hummed after he finished his explanation. Nodding his head, Peter brought the drink back to his mouth and took a long sip. "If a kiss is an action depicting two people's harbored romantic feelings for the other, may I kiss you?" 

Peter nearly choked on his drink, his eyes widening. You watched with concern as he began coughing. "What?" He managed to sputter between breaths. 

"Are you okay? Do you require medical assistance?" 

"No, no I'm fine," he coughed one last time before clearing his throat and putting the cup down for good measure. "You want to kiss me?" He then asked incredulously. 

You paused, thinking about it. You very rarely had feelings before, but you _did_ have them; the last true time being centuries ago, besides just yesterday, but you were sure of it. "Yes. I suppose I do." Then you looked at him, confusion lacing your features. "I am not sure I understand why it seems to be such a shock. Your traits are admirable as both a warrior and a human being. Brave, loyal, compassionate and kind, I would assume those are traits a human would look for in a partner. It is also safe to say that are are quite attractive, Peter. I would think you would have kissed multiple admirers by now." 

Peter cheeks were blushing a deep red, the boy staring right back at you with an expression mixed of awe and flattery. After a moment of silence, he let out a dry chuckle. "Yeah, well, no," he tells you. "People don't really like me like that. I'm too much of a weirdo for them, I guess," 

"That is ridiculous." You stated, picking a piece of the cotton candy and holding it in your hand. "They have no idea what they are missing. I would be honored to have someone like you by my side for the rest of my life." You smiled at him as you popped the candy into your mouth, feeling it melt and crackle on your tongue again as he began to smile back at you as well. But then the corners of your lips faltered just moments before your entire expression dropped. 

"Y/N? Is something wrong?" Peter asked the second he noticed. You stayed silent for a moment before you spoke, your voice low and dark. 

"Humanity." You said softly before continuing. "You already have such short lives. And each day draws nearer to the chaos filled future I was sent to thwart. I have been foolishly wasting what little time I have." You stood from the bench, your eyes finding Peter and the expression of fear that crossed his face. You didn't want to tell him about the sudden realization that you would would live forever, and even if you were to visit Earth from time to time, you would watch Peter grow old and eventually die. "I must go. I haven't much time. I'm sorry, Peter." 

"Wait!" Peter stood up and stared to follow you as you began to walk away. "Y/N, wait!" But he stopped in his tracks when a gold shimmer covered your body, your armor reappearing on your body and sword materializing by your side. Your wings sprouted violently from your back and you didn't look back as you took off, starting a mad search for the Sanctum and the Time Stone. 

You feared if you looked back, you would be tempted to stay with Peter. You _would_ stay with Peter. And the fact that you would rather spend what remaining time you have left with him was the exact reason why you had to go, why you couldn't see him again.


	5. four

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 _And though you turn from me to glance behind_  
 _The Phantom of the Opera is there_  
 _Inside your mind_  
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The sun was just starting to rise as you were flying through the sky, letting out a cry of frustration as you couldn't feel the power of the Time Stone, you couldn't use it to guide you to the Sanctum. You didn't know why your Masters tasked you with this important of a job, instead of falling to Earth to do it themselves. You were afraid to fail, afraid of what that would entail for not just you but for humanity. For the universe.

But then you came to an abrupt stop. You remembered about the Sakaaran ship that was supposed to close to Earth today, and you redirected yourself. Taking off at speeds that would surpass Earth's best rocket ship, burning through the atmosphere as you entered space. You couldn't slow down fast enough, and you shot past Earth all the way to Jupiter. Groaning, you turned back around, a slower speed but still urgent as you kept your eyes peeled.

A bright beam of white and colored light shooting through the dark space and towards Earth caught your attention and you headed towards its source, finding the ship. You knew it was Sakaraan, but the ship behind it, easily quadruple it's size, was not. You drew your sword and slashed an opening in the Sakaraan ship to get inside, not bothering to find an opening as you entered.

The sight before you was horrendous; the ship destroyed, Asgardian bodies lying dead on the floor and floating in space around it. You were horrified as you slowly walked through the massacre. You've seen war before, but no many times you had seen it could never prepare you for the sight again.

Then you saw a man kneeling next to a body, his hand on the dead mans chest. Getting a closer look, it look liked they were the same person; same glossy black hair, sharp jaw, and high cheekbones. The man was pale, but the one lying down was paler from loss of blood circulation.

You watched in silence as the man pressed his palm against the other's chest, a shimmering gold rippled over the corpse, and when you glanced at his face again, it was different person entirely. Magic.

Something shifted to your left, and you saw maybe a hundred or so people huddled tightly together, pressed against the wall of the ship, fear in their eyes as they stared at you. Asgardians.

Your eyes fell back to the slender man, who stood up, and as you turned your attention back to him, your eyes met sharp green ones. "Who are you?" His voice was low, almost a growl, and you saw two short silver blades appear in his hands.

"I am the Harbinger of the Infinity Stones, I have not come deal any harm to you or your people." For emphasis, you let your sword disappear from your side, holding your hands out.

The look on his face told you he knew who you were and he raised his chin, stepping forward. "I am Loki of Asgard." He spoke. His voice was shaky, but dominant. "You are too late."

"Where is the Space Stone?" You asked him, holding onto a sliver of hope that maybe they won."

"I had to give it to him." Loki's voice was defeated and he bowed his head gravely. "I had no choice, you have to understand."

Gulping, a lump still in your throat, you nodded your head. "Do you know where Thanos is now?"

"He sent four of his followers to Earth. Two stones are already there, and they know where they are. My only guess is that Thanos himself went to collect another one. And with both the Power and Space stones, there is no stopping him now. It is too late."

Your jaw tensed as your mind raced, trying to think of a solution, trying to convince yourself that this wasn't the end, that there still was a chance you can still succeed. "Can you still pilot the ship? Does it still work?"

"I'm not too sure,"

You spread your wings and hovered a foot above the ground, making you taller than Loki as you talked to him. "Find out. Then try to get as far away from Earth as possible. It might buy you some time. Not much, but it's the best I can do at the moment."

Loki nodded. "I wish you luck."

"As do I." You bowed your head, masking your fear as you exited the ship and set course back to Earth.

It aggravated you that you couldn't go faster than what you were. While you _could_ , any faster and you wouldn't be able to slow before hitting the ground in time. While it might not damage you, your impact would be disastrous. You followed the course of the white beam you saw earlier in hopes it's target could help you in any way it could.

It brought you back to New York City, and you hoped you wouldn't have to search for long. 

Soon, a rumbling sound appeared in the air, quickly followed by people screaming in the distance. Peering down, you saw what was going on and you weren't sure how you missed the massive circular ship landing roughly in the middle of the Manhattan streets. You dived down, but stopped again when you finally found what you were looking for for the past two days.

The Sanctum.

The window was broke, and you realized that this is where the beam must've hit. You chose to rush into the Sanctum first, your landing on the hardwood floor in front of a broken staircase.

"Hello?!" You called out, hearing your voice echo in the emptiness as you walked forward, your footsteps competing with the screams and rushing winds outside. Reaching the hole in the staircase, you saw the imprint of a body in the dust, but no one was there. "Hello!" You called again, jumping over the hole and dashing across the second floor, trying to look for someone, anyone. The Time Stone. This definitely was the Sanctum.

You yelled, this time from anger. You took off again, this time running the streets, going towards the sounds of voices and fighting. You arrived just in time to see something red and gold get hit with a large hammer on a chain and get pushed through multiple buildings before a large alien bounded after it. But then you saw two men standing in front of another alien a couple meters away, both with glowing orange shields in front of them. Masters of the Mystic Arts. You found them, but you didn't find them in time.

You began to dash forward, unsheathing your sword, your target the alien throwing cars and chunks of pavement, but the red blur you saw swing towards the direction of the large charging alien stopped you.

"Peter..." your hesitation was enough time for your presence to be acknowledged by both the alien and the Masters, and when you caught off guard, something solid hit your chest, knocking the air out of your lungs and pummeling you into the ground. Your sword skidded out of your reach. You hit your head _hard_ , and while your brain was telling you to get up, you couldn't.

Your head throbbed as your hands pushed against the rock. But suddenly, the weight was lifted for you—actually a portal opened under it, and the rock fell through. The portal closed, and you saw one of the Masters standing over you.

"Are you okay?" He asked you, outstretching a hand and you took it. Standing up, you looked down to where your armor was dented.

"It is not me I am worried about," you tell him. "Where is the Time Stone?" You demanded, your voice low and stern. "It must stay safe no matter the cost."

"I am Wong, and the Time Stone is safe with Doctor Stephen Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme."

"Where is he?" You summoned your sword, watching as it dematerialized from where it was laying on the ground and finding it's home in your hand. Wong turned around, quickly glancing behind him before turning back to you.

"I'm not sure. But we need to help. Follow me." Opening another portal, he stepped through. With no other choice, you followed. Wong led you to a grassy field where the large alien and a man in a metal suit were fighting, and you had appeared right by the side of another man, holding his arms close to his body as he watched the battle, a helpless look on his face.

"We got this." Wong's voice startled the man, but he looked relieved when he saw who was talking. "I assume you have that covered?" You didn't know what he was talking about until you followed his gaze, turning around, and you saw another ship enter the atmosphere. Visibly smaller, but a threat nonetheless.

You turned back to talk to Wong, but him and the other man were gone. Groaning, you unsheathed your sword and flew off towards the new ship, which was now dropping aliens down into New York.

Chitauri, you figured out after beheading the first one that you crossed paths with.

Adrenaline worked against you, telling you to run away and find safety as you slashed through bodies, each one dropping dead with one strike, dodging laser blasts. You made sure not to let even one warrior get past you. But then you heard a familiar voice, Peter's voice, and you saw his body dangling from the circular ship as it took off.

If the ship was leaving, that meant either they were losing or they took the Stone. Your gut fell when you saw the man in the metal suit racing after the ship, confirming the latter.

Anger flooding through you, you zoomed through the fight, sparing no alien life before heading straight on into the small ship, set to destroy the source. You wouldn't leave Earth defenseless from the Chitauri, but you were determined, nothing would stop you from following that circular ship. Stop you from getting to Peter. Because if he was going to be fighting in this war, you were going to give your life before his was taken.

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You wiped the sweat from your face as you stepped over the Chitauri bodies. In front of you, there stood the man you saw earlier with Wong, standing and holding a phone to his ear before pulling it back. His face was white from fear, but relief filled his features as he closed it, and you stepped toward him.

"Woah! H-hi?" He jumped and questioned when he saw you, backing up as you drew nearer.

"I'm not going to hurt you," you said, your voice soft. The effort to hide what you were truly feeling taking more out of you than the fight you just finished. "Who are you and do you know where the Sorcerer Supreme is?"

"Are you with Thanos? Because you look like you're with Thanos." He asked you, and you felt the scowl form on your face.

"I am Y/N, Harbinger of the Infinity Stones. It is my sworn duty to protect the Stones at any cost and to keep them out of Thanos' possession."

"You aren't doing very well," The man mumbled under his breath, flinching when he saw you were watching and heard him. You had no negative reaction toward him. He was right. "I-I'm Bruce. Bruce Banner. I would say it's nice to meet you, but under these circumstances..."

"I understand," you sheathed the blade and walked to Bruce, showing no hostility for the moment. Every part of you was screaming to go get Peter, but you had an obligation to the Stones. "Listen to me Bruce, Thanos has the Power, Space, and Time Stones. You need to tell me if you know the location of the Mind Stone. It is the last one here on Earth, and we need to get to it before he does."

Bruce looked around, as if seeing if the area was safe before talking. "My friends, The Avengers, well, they were the Avengers— Tony's up there in that ship but the others, they're on their way to get Vision right now." He paused. "Vision...the Mind Stone, it's-it's embedded in his head. He's a synthetic human, for clarification, he isn't real, but at the same time, he...is." 

"You're saying the Stone is powering a robot?" 

"Not only just the Stone, he's more than just the Mind Stone. He's kind of a technological marvel in that way, actually," he chuckled dryly. "I would tell you if I had the time. But Y/N, I'm going to the Avengers Compound upstate. That's where Vision is going to be in the next couple of hours. You can- you can come with me?" 

You shook your head. "I can't right now. But where exactly is this compound? I will meet you there." 

"Here. Here, take this," Bruce stepped forward and handed you the phone he was just using. "I'll text you the address when I get there, because I don't know it exactly." Taking the electronic, you held it tightly in your hand before slipping it under your armor. "If I may ask, where are you going?" 

"To find Thanos." 

That was a lie. The first lie you've ever told. But it will be your second if Thanos succeeds in getting all six stones. You didn't want to tell Bruce you were going to follow the ship, which had disappeared from your view, because Peter was up there. 

The force of the wind you emitted when you shot up into the air pushed Bruce to the ground. You made sure he wasn't hurt, but didn't care as you flew through the sky, heading straight up until again, you were back in space. 

You weren't searching long before you saw the trail of scrap metal. You travelled slow to make sure you didn't lose it, and after a couple of minutes, you saw the ship in the distance.

You flew towards the it, and you noticed that it was continuing to move on it's own. Like it was on autopilot. On a course. You examined the outside, your hands looking for a way in, but you couldn't find one that wouldn't cause a rip. That was the last thing you wanted to do, because that would endanger whoever was inside. Endanger Peter. 

You gravitated toward the windshields. You figured if they saw you from the inside, they would be able to let you in, open an airlock. But before you could get to the windows, you froze. A voice filled your head and suddenly, you were back in front of the Celestials. Except you knew you weren't really there, because you were still floating. 

"Harbinger," Entropy's voice echoed out. "You must not worry about them now. Your duty is on Earth."

"Masters, the humans will not survive in space!" You began to argue, forgetting every rule that was instilled into you since birth. "Let me bring them back with me." 

"You are forgetting what you were sent to Earth to do." Infinity spoke. "Find the Mind Stone. Protect it." 

"Masters, please! You must know if I succeed or fail, must I leave them? Will they be safe?" You pleaded.

Death brought his hands before him, you watched as his bony finger laced together and then he spoke. "The occupants of the Chitaurian ship, they are on the course to Titan." You felt sick to your stomach. Death wouldn't be the one to tell you where they were going unless something bad was going to happen. If Infinity or Eternity, or even Entropy told you, it would be okay. But coming from Death himself, it only meant someone—or everyone—was going to die. It always did. "You may go to them when it is absolutely necessary, but only then." 

"We know you developed a bond with the boy." Eternity said. "We cannot say what happens other that you will be able to see him again. But until then, you must go back to Earth. You must fight." 

Without a goodbye, you were thrust back into your own body. The trail of debris had thickened, and the ship was nowhere to be found. You let out a cry into the nothingness, your voice traveling less than a foot in front of you because it had nowhere to travel. When you opened your eyes, a body floating in front of you grabbed your attention. Upon getting closer, you recognized it to be the thin alien from back on Earth, his skin dried and cracked. Relief ran through you—perhaps a little too much relief— when you saw he was dead. 

You stopped moving. Just for a moment. You had to find it in yourself to will yourself to push forward, head back to Earth, instead of setting a course for Titan.

Turning around, you dove to Earth. It looked like the plan, as much as you hated to follow it, was to find Bruce. It looked like you were sticking with him.


	6. five

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 _Time is a valuable thing_  
 _Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings_  
 _Watch it count down to the end of the day_  
 _The clock ticks life away_  
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As you stood outside the Avengers Compound, the sun shining brightly and the wind blowing slightly, rustling the trees, you had to tell yourself that despite the beautiful weather and the feeling of tranquility threatening to wash over you, that it was the same day Thanos took the Space Stone. The same day the Time Stone was potentially floating through space—that the boy that started to show you the world was floating, trapped in space.

Your mission was never supposed to become personal. But here you were, wanting to kill Thanos yourself. Not just for Peter, who had a loving aunt, a good life for him on Earth, but for every single innocent life he would take with that one snap of his fingers if he succeeded in getting all six stones. For everyone that would survive but be affected, their lives being turned upside down as they lose the ones closest to them. For humanity. It was already so fragile; their lives didn't need to be cut shorter, didn't _deserve_ to be cut short.

A jet flew by overhead, turning around in the air and then slowly started to lower on the pavement on the opposite end of the compound you were standing on. You heard footsteps, and suddenly you weren't alone outside anymore.

"They're here," Bruce's voice appeared by your side. "Steve, Sam and Natasha...they're here with Vision and Wanda. With the Mind Stone." He paused, waiting for you to do something, anything, other than to just stare out into the forest. "You should come meet them. If there really is going to be a war like you say, they should know we have another fighter on our side."

"I will," you began. "But I am not what they need right now. You were telling me earlier...this is a reunion? As bittersweet as it is, you do not need my introduction ruining it."

"Y/N, I highly doubt you being there would ruin whatever type of a reunion this is. The real reunion will happen after we win this thing." He turns towards the door, pausing and waiting for you to follow him, but when you didn't, he let out a sigh. "You're welcome to join us whenever you want to. I promise you'll fit right in." You heard Bruce's footsteps receding, the door opening and closing behind him.

_You'll fit right in_. His words echoed in your head. Was that a problem? You fitting in? Peter was quick to trust you; once you got the hang of things, you were enjoying the simple things that made up life on Earth. Showers, food, fun. Conversations, contact, comfort.

Bruce seemed to trust you. He was lost and confused, maybe more so than you, but he trusted you, although the two of you had only just met not even five hours ago. Has he— has The Avengers— been through events weirder than an immortal being showing up that it was old news by now? Would his word be enough to convince the others that you were on their side?

You were growing a fast attachment to these humans, especially Peter, who you felt specially connected with, and you didn't know if that was going to be a problem for you in the end, when this is all over.

You weren't sure how long you were standing outside before you decided to show yourself. Walking down the hallway, you turned the corner and entered the room filled with people. There was a tense silence, and it had looked like the group had just finished a conversation.

A woman with short platinum blonde hair was the first to notice you standing silently in the doorway, her back straightening and her entire body tensing as she prepared for a fight. That set off a chain reaction, everyone seeing her and following her piercing gaze to you.

"Woah, hey guys," Bruce started before anyone got any ideas.

"This is Y/N," Rhodes finished for him, getting the tension in the air to thin a bit as he introduced you. "We're all on the same side here."

"Where did you come from?" Another woman with light brown hair spoke. Her expression was filled with confusion and interest, as if she could sense something was off with you.

"The floor is yours," Rhodes told you, his hand covering his mouth as your eyes met pointed blue ones from across the room.

"I am the last Harbinger of the Infinity Stones." You began, stating your title once more; more than you thought you would be during your stay here. "The Celestials brought me into existence and I have been waiting dormant four millennia waiting to be sent to protect and stop Thanos from using the Stones all together. Because if he does and I-we don't stop him, it will be the end of the world whether the results are immediate, or fester for years. If Thanos snaps his fingers, humanity will fall. Mankind will become extinct."

"Hold up," A man with dark skin and a metal contraption on his back spoke up. "Four millennia? Like four thousand years? Are you another god?"

"I am not a god, I have no worshippers. I am merely a protector of the gems of my power. The Celestials; Death, Infinity, Entropy, and Eternity, create the Harbingers. They are to fight the wars normal species cannot, ones connected to the Infinity Stones."

"You say that as if there's more of you. If that's the case, where are they?" The woman with blonde hair spoke, and in your silence, the brunette gasped.

"She's the last of her kind," she stepped forward, leaving a man who has red skin's side. He's wounded. "Aren't you?"

You bowed your head solemnly. "Thanos knew the Harbingers were the only beings capable of matching his power. He destroyed them to eliminate the threat of his plans coming to an end."

"Wanda," the man with blue eyes spoke, turning to the brunette. Wanda. "She's telling the truth?" His voice was low and commanding.

"Yes." Wanda answered. "We can trust her." No one spoke for a couple of moments as they let the information soak in.

"I'm Steve." The man with the blue eyes turned back to you, holding out his hand for you to shake. "You've already met Rhodey and Bruce it seems."

"I know of Vision as well." You tell him, your eyes narrowing at the man with red skin, now seeing the glowing yellow gem embedded in his forehead.

"I'm Wanda," she stepped forward again, concern in her eyes. You couldn't help but to get the feeling she was looking into your head, that she knew things about you you haven't told anyone.

"Sam." The man with contraption spoke, giving you a short wave. Distrust slowly melting from his face.

Everyone in the room looked toward the blonde woman, who had been studying you the entire conversation, a blank expression on her face other than pursed lips. She must've decided you were an ally, because her expression softened and her fingers let up from where they were pushing against her skin in folded arms. "Natasha."

"So what is your power, exactly?" Sam asked you, his eyes narrowing in your direction.

"My immortality, strength, and speed are all connected to the Infinity Stones themselves. If they were to be destroyed, if that was even possible, or if I were to use them for my benefit, I would become mortal. I am an excellent swordsman and skilled combat fighter." You tell the group intently listening, but unease filled you as their eyes widened slightly, a few glancing in Vision's direction.

"Y/N," Steve began. "We need to destroy Vision's stone," you now knew what they were talking about. "We're going to Wakanda, there we have the technology to do so."

"What would happen to you?" Bruce spoke up. "We already were just talking about how we aren't trading lives, would this change anything?"

You raised your chin, thinking it over in your head. "Your plan is to destroy the Mind Stone?"

"Once we have it safely removed from Vision's head, Wanda alone has the strength to destroy it." Natasha spoke cooly, her voice smooth much like Eternity but with an air of command like Infinity. "What will happen to you?"

"I will not be affected in the way you think." You tell them, your brows furrowing as you thought. "I will still live, but I suppose my power would be lessened." You hesitated. "My Masters will not enjoy the idea of the Stone being destroyed, but they ordered me to stop Thanos at all costs. This is the price I will have to pay. Do not change the plan for my benefit."

"Good, because we weren't." Said Sam. "Right?" The room silently nodded their heads.

"Now that we are all on the same page," Steve straightened his back. "Let's go." He met your eyes again, determination churning in his own. "Y/N?"

"Yes?"

"Welcome to The Avengers."

○○○○○○

  
"What kind of name is Y/N anyway for a four thousand year old immortal being?" You heard Sam ask you as the group of you were flying through the air over lush green forests.

"It has only been my name for three days." You tell them, confusion filling their faces. "Harbingers are not given names. They are warriors, protectors. They do not need one. But when I came to Earth..." you stopped, not sure what to say. "Peter helped me choose a name." Your lips curled up slightly, but not for long.

"Peter?"

You sat up straighter, your armor clinking together. "You might know him as Spider-Man."

"Queens?" The question came from Steve. "You know him?"

"He and his aunt gave me a place to stay, resources, and two extra minds to help think. I'm am grateful for being lucky enough to have met them."

"Where is he? The kid shouldn't be involved in this." Rhodes sighed. "If I didn't know you were already the oldest of all of us, I would say you shouldn't be here."

"Ha. Yeah, Steve you aren't the oldest anymore," Sam chuckled, bringing a lighter tone to the conversation, but as everyone's eyes fell on your face, it disappeared.

Your expression had become grim, guilt raging in your stomach, anger filling you. You clenched your fists tightly and inhaled sharply before speaking. "Peter, a man in a suit of armor, and the Time Stone are on a course to Titan. Most likely, they are there now."

"Tony," Rhodes eyes widened as he breathed out the name. "Ti— woah, where is Titan? They're in space?"

"Yes."

"And you _let_ them—" Rhodes began to stand up, but Steve held his hand out.

"Y/N, how did they get to space?" His voice was clear, but you could hear the underlying anxiety.

"Thanos sent two of his right hand men. Aliens, if you prefer. They were after Doctor Stephen Strange, the keeper of the Time Stone. I assume we all know why. They all fought, but the ship they came to Earth with had a tractor beam, bringing them and the Stone back into space. Only one alien survived, but by the time they got into space, he too was dead. They should be safe on Titan for now. I am going back to bring them home later."

Your words seemed to put ease into the ship. "How later?"

You hesitated again. It wouldn't help anyone if you told them about the warning from Death. You weren't too sure why they weren't even questioning the Celestials at all, but that didn't matter either. "I will not know until it is time."

"Vague. Great." Rhodes nodded his head, turning around to walk towards Natasha, standing behind where she was sitting in the pilots seat.

"We're here." Natasha's voice rang out in the silence that had settled. Everyone walked to join Rhodes, watching as she piloted the quinjet forward, in the direction of the forest. Your eyes widened and your body tensed as it looked like you were going to crash, but then you felt a soft hand on your arm. Turning your head, you saw Wanda staring at you, her eyes telling you that it was okay, and as you looked back in front of you, you watched as you didn't crash at all, but seemingly, the quinjet passed an invisible barrier and was trust into a different world entirely.

This was Wakanda.

As the jet landed, you made sure to stay in the back. You were here to fight, to protect. It wasn't your place to bring attention to yourself, as much as you've grown fond of conversation, of being noticed. Wanda seemed to sense this, and while on of her arms was around Vision, she slipped her hand into yours, giving it a light squeeze.

You appreciated the thought, the comfort, and you loved it. But you've done this before, and it isn't the same; not the same as when Peter's hand is in yours. Nevertheless, you held on until the ramp opened, everyone turning to exit the jet. You let go of Wanda's hand, much to her confusion, and hung in the back until everyone else had gotten off, following silently in their footsteps as Steve greeted a man wearing black robes, hearing Bruce whisper a quick "Should we bow?" to Rhodes, and getting the answer. "Yeah, he's a king,"

"Seems like I'm always thanking you for something." Steve extends his arm and grasps the King's hand shaking it as Bruce cleared his throat and bowed.

"What are you doing?" Rhodes asked Bruce, hints of a smirk on his face,

"Uh, we don't do that here," the King, T'Challa, assured Bruce, and embarrassedly, Bruce stood back up. He glanced in your direction, his eyes sweeping over your face but not saying a word. You wondered if Steve had already told him about you or if he didn't care who you were, as long as you were on their side. "So how big of an assault should we expect?"

You listened as you followed behind. "Uh, sir, sir, I think you should expect quite a big assault." Bruce told him.

"How we looking?" Natasha asked.

"You will have my Kingsguard, the Border Tribe, the Dora Milaje, and..." T'Challa pointed to his left, bringing the attention to another man. His long hair and glossy metal arm caught your eye.

"And a semi-stable hundred year old man." The man smiled, and you watched with interest as Steve grinned back and leaned in to wrap his arms tightly around the man for a moment.

"How've you been, Buck?" Steve asked softly.

"Oh, not bad, for the end of the world," the man, Buck, smiled back.

There was a minute of silence before Vision stepped forward, the air shifting back to serious as the moment was over, and everyone remembered why they were here in the first place. "Ah, yes," T'Challa began. "If you will follow me, my sister is waiting. It is not a wise idea to make her impatient."

Steve patted Bucky on the shoulder once as to say 'see you later' before nodding to the group. He, Natasha and Bruce followed T'Challa into the sleek building behind them where Wanda and Vision were already taken. You stayed with Sam, Rhodes and the man with the metal arm.

The three of them stood in a tight circle, talking softly. You didn't hear what they were saying nor were you trying to listen in, but you caught a hushed 'who's she?'. It wasn't too long before the man you didn't know walked up to you. "I'm Bucky. I hear you're here to protect these Infinity gem things?"

"Yes." You answer, shaking his hand. "I am Y/N. It is nice to meet you Bucky,"

"You seem a little young to be fightin' a war if I'm tellin' the truth," then he chuckled. "And that's coming from the guy who shot men right outta high school."

Sam snorted behind him and Bucky shot a glare over his shoulder. "I am not human, Bucky. Though I may look like a teenage girl, I have lived over four hundred lifetimes. Granted, I was deprived of the life itself and instead spent it in a suspended stasis until I was needed."

Sam and Rhodes tensed, as if they were expecting a reaction from Bucky and you wondered if you somehow said something wrong. Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line before he touched your arm; a comforting action. "It gets better, trust me." he told you under his breath, his blue eyes warm as he stared into yours, another smile appearing on his face. He then dropped his arm and his smile widened. "At least after we all get out of this alive, it will."

"Ain't that the truth?" Rhodes mumbled, clapping his hand on Sam's back before talking again. "I'll be right back. Let me get this out of here."

A sharp nod from the three of you as Rhodes went back into the quinjet, the ramp closing once he got to the pilots seat, and large gusts of wind blew past as the jet lifted off the ground. A few minutes later, you saw another man in a suit of armor, silver this time instead of red and gold, flying through the air. He landed next to you and Sam, your question disappearing as to who it was when his helmet flipped up and you saw Rhodes' face underneath.

You stood off to the side, a decent distance away from where Sam and Bucky were standing, Rhodes to their right. The four of you were standing and watching guard, occasionally making small talk, but the majority of it you stood in silence.

Wakanda was a beautiful place, a perfect blend of technology and tradition, modern and the old fashions. You told yourself that you would have to talk to King T'Challa about coming back and exploring both the fields of green and animals but also having someone explain exactly what vibranium was and how it can be utilized in so many different ways.

It had been about five minutes into Vision's operation before you had noticed a large mass burning as it fell from the sky, headed right for Wakanda.

Sam had noticed it seconds after you. "Hey Cap," he bright his finger to the earpiece in his ear. "we got a situation here." Bucky and Rhodes looked up just as the mass hit an invisible wall, a force field, and exploded, sending blue ripples through the barrier.

"God, I love this place," Bucky mumbled and Rhodes turned to see more of the burning masses.

"Yeah, don't start celebrating yet, guys," he spoke. "We got more incoming outside the dome." At least three you counted. They hit the ground, and you saw they were other ships. More began to rain down after the first had landed.

You knew this was war from the start, and this was just the beginning.


	7. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...pain...

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 _Can't you see the tears we're cryin'?_  
 _Can't there be some happiness for me?_  
 _Not in Nottingham_  
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Not even a two minutes after the ships had landed, T'Challa had exited the building again, Steve, and Natasha by his side. With the elegance only a king could hold, he fluidly spoke to the Dora Milaje with him, each one with orders and each one going off in separate directions to prepare and gather soldiers for the fight. You, as well as Sam, Bucky, and Rhodes, joined as T'Challa led the group of you to a secondary location; an armory, filled to the brim with weapons and land speeders.

"The Mind Stone?" You asked Steve, noticing the two new dark triangular shields beings fitted to his wrists and forearms, soldiers filing into speeders and moving out in formation as the city evacuated behind you.

"Shuri is working on getting the Stone out of his head as fast as she can. Wanda will take it from there." He told you firmly. "She's good at what she does. Possibly the best. She can do it."

"We can only hope." Then you paused, glancing around as the team began to file into speeders. "Where is Bruce?"

"He decided to fight, even without the Other Guy. We brought along our old Hulkbuster armor just in case he changed his mind, which he did. He'll be right behind us." Rhodes told you, but saw the confusion on your face. "You'll see."

You nodded your head and watched as Steve followed T'Challa into the last two spots of their speeder, Bucky stepped into another one, Natasha going to follow him but turning to face you first. "Take this." She told you, holding out a small black device in her palm. "To communicate. I already turned it on for you."

"Thank you." You told her, fitting the device in your ear, making sure it wouldn't fall out as Natasha stepped in front of Bucky.

"You comin' kid?" Bucky asked you, side-stepping and making room for you stand next to him. You shook your head politely.

"I'm going with them." You gestured your chin towards Sam and Rhodes.

"They're our aerial fighters," Natasha said, slight confusion in her voice as you just smiled.

"I know." You stepped back as one by one, the speeders leaving the armory one by one, you falling in step with Sam and Rhodes in the War Machine armor.

You knew they had questions, but they bit their tongues. It didn't take long before the three of you broke into runs, Sam pulling on a pair of red goggles and Rhodes firing up yellow repulsers. Drawing your sword, the blade reflecting brightly in the sunlight, you watched as the contraption on his back opened and metal wings shot out. You watched with amusement forming in your face.

"I ain't carrying you," Sam said when he noticed you staring.

"I wasn't asking you too." You shot him a smirk as you willed your wings to grow, expecting the pain and pushing through it. Sam's jaw dropped as with a flap of the large charcoal colored limbs, the Wakandan sun changing them, you gained elevation faster than both Rhodes and him.

"Way to one up me," You heard Sam mumble over the device in your ear, you veering right as Sam stayed center. Rhodes to his left, chuckling. It sounded like he was going to add something to the conversation before he stopped, his voice becoming deadly serious.

"I've got two heat signatures breaking through the tree line." The three of you rushed ahead the zooming speeders, staying airborne as the vehicles let off their passengers behind you.

You watched as T'Challa, Steve and Natasha were already off, and on their way to where Rhodes had directed, stopping right in front of the barrier. The force field separating them from an alien woman and another giant like the one you saw in New York.

They were talking, but you weren't listening. You were trying to focus on the Mind Stone. It seemed to be sending out signals, and you were trying to decipher if this was the time you were allowed to leave or not. You were disappointed to figure out that it seemed to be distress signals, a warning. Steeling your face, you reminded yourself that the time will come, and you prepared to fight.

You could feel the sun on your back, warming you up as you rolled your shoulders, your wings flapping to keep you suspended two stories above the ground, ready to dive down the second you were given the go ahead. Steve, T'Challa and Natasha walked back, taking their places in the front of the army. The ships began to rumble and open.

"They surrender?" You heard Bucky ask.

Steve replied. "Not exactly."

Sam and Rhodes continued to scout the barrier, flying to keep them suspended, while you started to spot movement from beyond the treeline. You started to hear chanting in Xhosa.

"What the hell?" Bucky asks, his voice nearly a whisper as thousands of dark creatures with six limbs and mouths full of teeth with unhinging jaws ran towards the barrier.

"Looks like we pissed her off." Natasha answered, and you tightened your jaw and your grip around your sword as you heard the exhaustion in her voice already, preparing herself for the battle to come.

The aliens scratched and clawed and pushed themselves into the barrier, piling up against each other as their only goal in mind was to get through.

"They're killing themselves." The General Okoye of the Dora Milaje spoke, and you watched in horror as the creatures sacrificed themselves, the force field cutting off limbs, heads, and anything else.

"They're weakening the barrier." You spoke, your voice low as you noticed one or two start to slip through, their bodies mostly intact, followed by more, and soon, tens were making it through.

T'Challa ordered to fire.

The sound of both gunfire, repulsers and lasers filled the barren field as attack started. You raised your sword, and with every swing, took the heads clean off of two or more aliens. You knew soon enough, you were going to have to battle on foot. You were far faster and more efficient using your sword when you were on solid ground. But for now, you played your part in trying to keep the creatures from reaching the army.

"You see the teeth on those things?!" You heard Sam ask as he flew low, shooting dual guns while sending drones that went straight through the aliens bodies, killing them instantly.

"All right, back up Sam. You're gonna get your wings singed." Rhodey announced as he flew along the inside dome, dropping a line of explosives behind him as he zoomed through the sky.

Your attention was disrupted when you saw movement behind you when there shouldn't have been. You noticed the numbers of aliens increase, and they started to circle around the outside perimeter. Bruce spoke before you did.

"Cap, if these thing circle the perimeter and get in behind us...there's nothing between them and Vision."

Steve's voice was low and determined. "Then we better keep 'em in front of us."

"How do we do that?"

"We open the barrier." T'Challa's voice was clear after a moment of hesitation. He must have switched channels because from the distance, you saw his lips moving as he spoke and you continued to fight. Then he projected his voice, commanding his army to drop their shields, and the line of blue disappeared. "Wakanda forever!"

You realized what he was doing, and fell back, flying back towards the army. You dropped down, letting your wings recede as the warriors began to run, joining them with your blade brandished valiantly, your silver armor shining as you moved.

You saw as an opening in the barrier appeared, letting the aliens come flooding in the controlled space.

Swiftly, you made your way through the enemy army. The grace of a deadly ballerina as you spun on your toes, the strength of a gladiator as your weapon hit it's mark repeatedly without fail. This is who you were supposed to be, and you played your role flawlessly.

Rhodes was still up in the air, trying to control to influx of the creatures as they continued to pour in, but his attempts barely did anything. Alarm rose in you as you watched your warriors in arms, the Wakandans, The Avengers, quickly become overwhelmed. First it was Bucky, his gun getting knocked out of his hands and in a moment he was down on the ground, wrestling with a creature, only a small knife to arm himself with. Then Rhodes got knocked out of the sky, crashing down into the ground. T'Challa was next, two creatures trying to rip into his impenetrable suit. Then Steve went down, four of them pouncing onto his body.

"There's too many of 'em!" Bruce shouted before yelling. It took multiple for them to take down his armor, but they succeeded. You realized you were losing.

You flew up, trying to think of a plan, something, anything that could better the odds, when suddenly a white beam of light came crashing down onto the battlefield, sending a blast of energy that killed anything in a twenty foot radius, not unlike the one that led you to Sanctum Sanctorum. You stared with awe filled eyes as an axe came flying out, blue sparks of electricity that gradually turned into bolts of lighting as it flew through the field, clearing enemies even faster than you had been taking care of them yourself.

The beam dissipated, leaving a man, and what appeared to be a living tree and a domesticated animal with a weapon in its wake. The axe, still glowing brightly of blue-white light, came soaring back to the man, and he grasped its handle tightly in his hand.

Aliens had started to jump up at you, and you kept them at bay as you watched, not missing the yanking feeling in your chest, and the Time Stone filling your mind.

You heard Bruce laugh. "You guys are so screwed now!"

"Bring me Thanos!" The man started to run, lightning erupting from him as he gained speed. He jumped in the air, the sky turning dark and he the only light illuminating the field as he became engulfed in electricity. He swung his axe, dropping back to the ground, and as you watched his impact decimate hundreds of aliens around him, you knew this was the moment.

"I will return." You spoke, letting everyone know of your departure as you shot up into the sky at a speed barely visible to the eye and in a matter of seconds, you left Earth's atmosphere.

○○○○○○

Landing on Titan, you saw battle was raging as well. All surrounding one man. No, not a man. A Titan. 

Thanos.

Letting out a battle cry , you raised your sword and began to fly straight towards him. But a familiar figure caught your eye; seeing Spider-Man appear and shoot a web at the metallic gauntlet on Thanos' hand and tried to pull it off made your heart stop from fear. And when Thanos just tugged the web and sent a fist flying into Peter's face, you faltered. 

Crashing down into the ground, you rolled. You got up in a split second, plans to charge again, when out of nowhere, a ship came flying in, just coming out of a lightspeed jump. The ship barreled into Thanos, and you barely had a chance to blink before you were caught in it's path too. The force struck you down again, sending you careening to the side and into the ground as it continued on, pushing Thanos into the ground as it began to slow down. 

The pain was immediate, your bones weak and a sharp ringing filled your pounding head. You tried to stand, but your body wouldn't follow your commands. The last thing you saw was a figure emerge from the ship, jumping through the air before landing a solid punch on Thanos before your eyes fluttered shut, the planet around you too bright to keep them open as much as the voice inside of you told your body to fight. 

"Well, well," A voice rumbled and you could only assume it was Thanos. 

"You should've killed me." A female voice appeared, but she wasn't human either. It had a robotic echo, and you couldn't place a species. 

"It would've been a waste of parts!" 

You tried to move, but the best you could do was slightly curl your fingers. The sounds of fighting erupted again. "Where's Gamora?!" 

You started to hear more bodies move, and your could see a bit of what was going on. But your eyelids wouldn't lift more than a sliver. People, including Peter, were surrounding Thanos. Four people were, Spider-Man, the Man in Armor, and you who you thought was the Sorcerer Supreme three of them, keeping Thanos' limbs bound, forming him to his knees as an Insectoid woman sat upon his shoulders; an empath, you thought, as her hands pressed against his head and Thanos screamed before going silent. 

"Is he under? Don't let up." 

"Be quick. He is very strong." She grunted out, her voice filled with pain and exertion. 

"Parker, help! Get over here." Peter scrambled to the Iron Man and helped him try to pull off the gauntlet. "She can't hold him much longer. Let's go." 

You felt helpless lying on the ground, contributing to nothing, as a man with red eyes flew down. 

"We gotta open his fingers to get it off." Peter's voice rang in your ears, and you tried to call out to him. 

"I thought you'd be hard to catch." The man with the red eyes spoke, but then suddenly, his red eyes were gone, it being a mask, and it looked like a human underneath. "For the record," he held up a finger. "This was my plan." He paused, stepping in front of Thanos. "Where is Gamora?" 

"My Gamora." Thanos' voice was slow, strained. 

"No, bull _shit_! Where is she?" 

"He is in anguish!" The empath called out, her voice sounding like she was on the brink of tears. 

"Good," 

"He...he mourns!" 

"What does this...monster...have to mourn?" Another voice spoke, but you couldn't see who it was.

"Gamora." The robotic voice appeared again, and the pain in your head tripled as you forced yourself to sit up against a piece of rock, your body starting to feel better, but not good enough.

"What?" 

"He took her to Vormir. He came back with the Soul Stone. But she didn't." 

"Okay, Quill...cool it...stand?" The voice that spoke cut in and out, you barely heard it as your eyes shut again. The ringing in your head was becoming unbearable, and you knew your skull must have taken most of the impact when you got hit. 

Vormir. The Soul Stone. 

You didn't know who Gamora was, but if she was with Thanos when he went to Vormir, she must've been his sacrifice. Thanos has the Soul Stone, Thanos only needs two more, and one was here.

"—Don't engage...almost...off!" 

"...tell me...didn't do it!" A whisper too low for you to even begin to pick up. "No you didn't." 

Yelling filled your ears, both sounds of words, people shouting, and noises, but you couldn't pick up either. You felt something hot stream down your face, and you realized you were crying. The temperature on the plant rose before you felt the ground begin to shake, and something began to impact the surface. First small, before something large hit, and you felt your body lift from the ground, floating in the air from the gravity not being as strong as it is on Earth. 

You wondered if anyone even knew you were here at this point. You were far away from where Peter was, and now you were even farther. You strained to open your eyes, and you saw you were just another object floating in the air with rock and debris. Your wings felt heavy as they hung limp and unmoving from your shoulder blades. You kept floating higher and higher as more rocks fell and collided with the planet, sending enough force to keep you in the air. 

"Y/N!" Your name buzzed through your head, a voice shouting it before you felt someone grab you, sending a jolt of pain throughout your entire body. That was Peter's voice. Peter has you. "Y...are...okay?"

You felt your body being placed on the ground, Peter making sure your wings didn't fold underneath you. You hated not being able to move, not being able to open your eyes. You wanted to see him, see Peter. Not just hear snippets of his voice mixed in with the sharp pain of deafening ringing. 

"Y/N please don't be dead!" His voice was filled with panic, and far away, you could hear the fighting continue. His hands were cupping your face, fingers pressed against your neck, but they were cold. You couldn't feel the warmth of his skin. 

"M'not..." you tried to talk, let him know you were alive, but it felt like your lungs were burning. Instead, you summoned as must strength as you could possibly muster, and with Peter's help, you sat up, grimacing in pain as you forced your eyes open despite the blurriness. 

"Wait, wait, wait, no, lay back down!" Peter seemed to realize he probably shouldn't be moving you after he had propped you up against a rock. You saw his face in front of you, his features foggy as your vision was still focusing. 

"I am fine." You managed to choke out. "I will...heal..." 

Your power was starting to come back, your control, as you rested. Slowly, and not fast enough, but surely. The ringing began to fade, and Peter came into focus. The first thing you saw were his large brown eyes, filled with fear and worry and glossy with tears ready to pour as he stared down into your own. 

You grabbed Peter's hand, even if it was covered, and squeezed as you gave him a weak smile. You knew if you were human, that crash would've killed you. It nearly did, and you weren't. Your muscles relaxed and the pounding in your head subsided, but everything was still there; your body ached. 

"You-you came!" Peter gasped, holding your hand tightly. "Wh-what happened? You took so-so long to get here..." 

"My duty is with the Stones..." you felt terrible as the words left your mouth. "I had to protect them. I couldn't leave Earth yet. But now—" you stopped talking when a voice filled the otherwise silence. 

"Spare his life...and I will give you the Stone." 

Both yours and Peter's heads turned to the voice, eyes wide as you saw the Sorcerer was the one who spoke, the Iron Man, his armor broken and ruined, clutching at his side as he was bleeding out. 

"No tricks." Thanos demanded and Strange shook his head. 

"Don't." The word was strangled and short. 

You willed yourself to stand up, your legs feeling like jelly. You clutched onto Peter's arm as he stood with you, neither of your eyes daring to leave the sight in front of you, your mouths ignored the command to open, bodies refusing to move. Strange held his hand out and in between his thumb and forefinger, the Time Stone appeared. 

He let it float through the sky, and everyone watched in horror as Thanos added it to his gauntlet. "One to go." 

A laser blast. Quill flew through the air, screaming as he began to attack Thanos, but the Mad Titan just disappeared into a dark stormy portal. 

"Where is he?!" He stared at the Iron Man, who was spraying something onto his body. "Did we just lose?" 

Iron Man slowly turned his head towards Strange, his chest rising and falling with heavy pained breaths. "Why would you do that?" His voice was soft. Defeated. 

"We're in the endgame now."


	8. seven

○  
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 _Death doesn't discriminate_  
 _between the sinners and the saints_  
 _It takes and it takes and it takes_  
○  
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The wind blowing was the only sound keeping complete silence from encapsulating Titan until Peter's voice pierced the air. "Are you okay?"

The question seemed ridiculous to ask now, but you knew Peter was concerned and you nodded your head. "Yes. But I need to go." Your chest felt heavy. Maybe it was from witnessing Strange give the Time Stone away, or because you had to leave Peter again. Perhaps both.

"What?! No, Y/N, y-you just got here!" Peter stammered, pulling you back as you took a shaky step forward.

"Thanos only needs the Mind Stone. I will be breaking my vow if I do not go back to Earth and defend it." The words were bitter to speak, the muscle in your mouth heavy as you spoke them. You knew you shouldn't be feeling like this, like it was more important to stay with Peter and be with him. You were supposed to protect the Stones. You were the universe's last hope.

"Y/N, please," His voice was soft and pleading, his eyes wildly searching yours as he tried to think of a reason to get you to stay, not knowing that he was enough reason for you. "Just...a little bit longer?"

You gulped down the hard lump in your throat. Hearing objects start to shift, people starting to move, kicking up dust, you glanced around to see everyone starting to gather towards where the Iron Man and Stephen Strange were sitting. "Go help," you urged Peter softly, watching as the man still gripped his side, grimacing in pain as he tried to shift.

"Are you—"

"I will stay." You assured him firmly, cutting him off and guilt piling in your stomach. "But he needs you more than I do."

Hesitantly, Peter nodded his head. He let his hand slip out of yours, and you watched as he hopped over debris and rocks, stumbling on the uneven ground before offering his hand to help the Iron Man up. He kept his arm around him in support until he could stand up completely. Suddenly, you heard the sound of thunder. It took you by surprise, because you didn't expect the weather to change on Titan. You looked up at the darkening skies and storm clouds before back toward the gathering group. No one spoke a word as they closed in, and you began to walk forward until you heard the empath speak.

"Something's happening." She looked up at the sky, and at that moment, you noticed you had stopped hearing the Mind Stone's distress signals in the back of your head.

You blinked, but you shouldn't have. Because when you went to go look at her again, she was gone. Impossible, you thought, until you realized what this meant, watching as a man you hadn't seen before but had heard his voice, begin to turn to dust.

"Quill?" He disappeared in mere seconds.

Fear appeared on Quill's face, and he turned to look at the Iron Man. "Steady, Quill." he instructed.

"Oh man," you felt nauseous as he went as well. His body there one moment, gone the next.

Thanos did it. He succeeded. You weren't there to protect the Mind Stone; the Avengers couldn't protect it either. You failed. This was on you. Your fault. The Celestials never warned you about how addicting humanity was, how it would tempt you to become one of them, fall for one of them. Life on Earth was distracting, enjoyable, new and different. And it rendered you from completing your mission. You weren't strong enough to resist it's temptations, and half the universe paid for it.

"Tony." That was his name. He turned to Strange, who glanced at you before meeting Tony's gaze. "There was no other way." He spoke, shaking his head slightly before he too faded away.

"Mr. Stark?"

Peter. "No..." your lip began to tremble and your breath caught in your lungs, your stomach churning as you heard Peter's voice shake from fear.

"I don't feel so good." He stumbled toward Tony, looking down at his hands before the man's face. You wanted to run forward, wrap your arms around Peter as if that would stop what's to come, but you were seeded in place, every muscle in your body rigid.

"You're all right." Tony's voice was hurried, trying to convince both himself and Peter.

"I don't-I don't know what's happening...I don't—" Peter groaned as he fell forward into Tony's arms. "I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go, sir. Please. Please, I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go."

His voice was broken, trembling. Scared and pained.

As he fell back, Tony trying his best to support him so he wouldn't hit the ground hard, Peter glanced one last time in your direction. The fear in his eyes taking what breath you had left, all air leaving your lungs. Even if you didn't need it, you still felt like you were going to die. Tears were streaming down your face as you listened to the pain in Peter's voice. _Pain._ He was in _pain._ How was that fair? That everyone else died without feeling a thing, but Peter...Peter had to suffer?

"I'm sorry..." His voice was so soft, you wouldn't have been able to hear it if it wasn't for the winds bringing it to your ears. The same winds that carried Peter through the sky, his body becoming nothing but dust disappearing in the sky.

You watched as Tony tried to follow, grasping at the nothingness before staring at his own hand. He was waiting for him to disappear himself. But he didn't.

"He did it." The echoey female voice spoke, and you finally got to see who it was; a woman with blue and purple skin. Tony settled down into the rock, the woman following his actions and sitting as well as he held his hands over his face before closing his eyes, his entire body drooping.

Just as the first sob welled up, you started to see dust in the sky again. It wasn't coming from Tony, or the woman, and with a slow turn of your head, you realized it was coming from you.

You didn't have time to react, time to think, before you felt pain overwhelm you, making you fall to your knees. You let out a strangled scream, and your wings unfurled from behind you as they began to fade away. Slowly, agonizingly. It felt like they were being shredded, someone was taking a blade to your wings and hacking them off bit by bit, feather by feather.

As the pain travelled closer to your back, you noticed through fear filled eyes both Tony and the woman staring at you. The first time they've noticed your presence, you were sure. And also the last.

You collapsed against the ground, the jagged rocks scraping your arms as your fists were balled tightly. Was this how Peter felt? You were so weak compared to him, you couldn't even keep the pain to yourself, taking staggered breaths as the sharp pain continued. You were waiting for it spread through the rest of your body, to see nothing, feel nothing, _be_ nothing...

But it never happened.

The pain stopped at your shoulder blades. Completely stopped. Your head shooting up, you watched as what used to be your wings, your beautiful, dark feathered wings, floated away with the breeze. You didn't know why the rest of you didn't go until you did. You sat up, balancing on your knees again.

Only Harbingers keep their wings.

You failed. Thanos got the Infinity Stones. He followed through with his plans. You weren't worthy of your title anymore.

"Who the hell are you?" The voice was rough and demanding, even as it wavered and was filled with sadness and defeat. "Answer me!" You looked up to see Tony staggering toward you, but falling to his knees a foot away. "Why aren't you gone?"

"She's a Harbinger." The woman's voice answered, and you were grateful. Because you didn't know if you would be able to speak at the moment. "I thought you were all dead. I watched as Thanos..."

"A what?"

"A protector of the Infinity Stones. She was sent to stop Thanos."

Tony snorted dryly. "How did that work out for you?" He asked you bitterly, and your eyes met his. His expression softened however, when he got a good look at your face. Your dirty tear streaked face, showing anger and grief, regret and pleads of forgiveness. "Why— you're a kid. Another kid."

You bowed your head, not knowing what to say to him. Your mind was too fuzzy to think, your body too weak to move, your armor weighing you down.

"You can't go back, can you?" The woman's voice asked you, and slowly, you shook your head. "You're trapped here." 

It was the air was thick with tension, the three of you—the survivors—silent and unmoving.

○○○○○○

You were expecting Tony to scream, yell, lash out. Whether it would be at you or not, you expected it. But instead he stayed silent, the words that did come out of his mouth small and short quips, masking his true feelings. He kept everything bottled up inside. You could see it in his eyes, the way he stared out into the dark star filled outside with a blank expression as the three of you floated through space in The Benatar. 

You knew he should've blamed you. You did. But instead, he kept his thoughts to himself. And watching him suffer by himself...it nearly killed you. But you couldn't his choices; you were the same way. Although, as the days passed, you wanted to scream, get him to tell you what you wanted to hear. 

_"This is my fault! Why aren't you mad at me?"_ You wanted to say to him. _"I could've stopped Thanos if I was not selfish!"_

You were surprised when you saw the woman—her name was Nebula, you learned—hold her hand out to you as you stayed unmoving on the alien planet's ground. You wanted to stay there, you weren't expecting Tony to look you in the eye and stand his ground. Say to you, even though he just met you, that he wasn't leaving you behind, no matter who you were or how you felt. 

The plan was to make it back to Earth, find out who survived if anyone did. But you found out the ship couldn't jump to hyperspace the hard way; that during the fight, the fuel cells cracked and were slowly leaking. Tony and Nebula worked on trying to salvage what they could, finding a way to reverse the ion charge to use the least amount of the remaining fuel the ship had. They had bought the three of you two days of flight time, but after those days were up, you were just floating mindlessly through space with no way to control where you were going. 

You kept your distance. What little there was. You felt like you didn't deserve the hospitality Tony was offering to both you and Nebula, the positivity he was trying to instill in the both of you. 

He tried his best to befriend both you and Nebula, and you could tell it was hard for him. Both her and you had different reasons for not wanting to let someone new in. It sickened you to find out about her past, how she lived through the abuse but still wanted Thanos to be proud of her, always living in her sister's—Gamora's—shadow. 

The compassion Tony showed her softened her edge however, though she still flinches when someone touches her. He tried to do the same with you, but you shut him out. Watching, silent from a distance. 

You wished you weren't there with them. You wished Tony wouldn't take no for an answer. Because you were going to be trapped in space forever, alone. You were going to watch Nebula and Tony die, most likely from starvation the way rations were dwindling. You didn't need food to live. You technically didn't even need oxygen. You held your breath most days, so you wouldn't consume what little oxygen the ship had left for the people who needed it. You were going to be alone again, but this time, forever stuck conscious of what you had done, knowing that you were never going to see Peter again, that his death was on you. Tony and Nebula's, half of all existence...their deaths would be on you. You weren't allowed to go back with the Celestials.

"Hey Y/N," you glanced up at the sound of Tony's voice. It was getting rough; his throat must've been dry, there wasn't much water left. "Scootch, let me sit," 

He did this time to time: attempted to bond with you. You didn't want to attach yourself, as much as you were slowly failing. Every time however, you kept quiet. You listened as Tony would tell you a story. Some would be about his time with The Avengers, others about growing up—those were rare, he doesn't like talking about his past—but most were about his fiancée, Pepper. 

Those stories were your favorite, because when he told them, you could see his eyes light up, a smile appear on his face as he spoke about her. You could tell in the almost three weeks you've known him, that Tony is in love with her. Though he was always brought back to the present when he finished, those stories nearly made him forget where he was and what had happened in the first place. But even the smallest amount of happiness was enough to get you through the day.

Moving your legs, you invited Tony to sit next to you. You had long since had your armor off, and you were wearing May's clothes, the striped blue and white shirt and pair of black leggings. Tony had asked where they had come from, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell him, your mind just went back to Peter. 

"Alien fruit snack...thing?" You saw him offer food in a silver wrapper, and you shook your head. It was routine by now, you denying food and drink, but Tony tried every time anyway. He sighed, shifting to get comfortable. "What do you think you want to hear about today? Ah, I haven't told you about the Accords. Those were fun times, ripped The Avengers apart. Then I found out Caps best friend was the man who murdered my parents, who, by the way, I thought died in a car crash. Oh, the memories." 

You frowned at the sarcasm dripping words. You knew something had to happen, he must've just found out about how long he and Nebula would be able to last. Exactly how much food or oxygen is left. Something had to put him in a bad enough mood to tell you something like this. He usually tried to keep his stories uplifting or funny. Something to get you to react positively. Open up.

Tony looked over at you, and saw your wide eyes, the faded look of shock and concern. "Maybe that's not a story for today. It'll take a while to explain anyway and I was thinking of getting some sleep in a couple of minutes." You felt your face relax. As much as you hated the attempts, you also loved it when Tony talked to you, told you stories. It reminded you of the comfort you felt chatting that morning with Peter and May. Actual people treating you like one of them, a human. Not a fighter or a defender. "There was one good thing that came out of all that. A person, actually. 

"I don't think I've told you about Peter yet. I guess...it's all still so fresh. Watching him..." Tony paused, inhaling sharply. You weren't sure what you felt when you heard Peter's name, but even if it brung you hurt, you wanted to hear what Tony had to tell you about. "The kid was only fourteen at the time, you know? Natasha told me to reconsider recruiting him, but I just saw his potential and I knew he could handle it. Not like I would've let him get hurt though, no." He looked down at his hands and you watched, listening intently. "He's a good kid. _Was_ a good kid. He and his aunt, they were doing fine for themselves. She had a good job working as an RN, a steady paycheck coming in every week. But with the amount of money you have to pay to live in New York, there wasn't much left over. Especially for Peter, who's a genius in his own, he couldn't really get the newest gadgets and such, dumpster diving for parts and building them himself. Given who his parents were...I gotta say it runs in the family. 

"I think I saw myself in him, if I'm being honest. Minus the playboy billionaire part. I was one of his idols, but I wanted him to be so much better than I was. I wanted to help him, his aunt. Looked a little into her job, and I saw she hadn't gotten a raise in almost a decade despite being the most qualified nurse there. Wage stagnation at its finest. I pulled a couple of strings to help her out. Anonymously of course, although I wonder what would've happened if she knew a donation from Stark Industries allowed her to make enough money to actually have some left over after stocking the fridge. I still kept an eye on Peter, made sure he didn't get into any real trouble. It sucked to deny his requests to go on another mission, but he was just a kid, his aunt would kill me, bring me back to life, then kill me again if anything ever happened to him."

Tony looked at you to make sure you were still listening. You thought it shocked him to see you were hanging on to every word, the most invested you've been in nearly any story. Only by a little bit though, the ones about Pepper, they were your favorites.

"It's been two years. He would've turned seventeen in a couple of months." Tony shook his head, his jaw tightening before he let out another sigh, this time pushing off his thighs and standing up. "He would've been the next me with some conditioning. Well, the next better me." He started to walk away. "You should get some sleep too. I don't think any of us got any rest for a good day at least." 

"I knew him." You spoke, your voice soft, but enough to make Tony stop in his tracks.

"What?" 

"Peter. I knew him." Those words made the man sit back next to you, waiting for you to continue. "After I came to Earth, he was the first person I ran into. Although it was more like he tried to fight me, thinking I was another alien trying to take over the world. Peter brought me home, introduced me to his aunt...they tried their hardest to help me. You see, I came to find the Time Stone. I was supposed to warn Stephen Strange about the oncoming war. Then I was supposed to do the same with the Mind Stone—Vision. They were the two stones on Earth, and they needed to be protected." You stopped for a moment. "Peter, he showed me what it was like to live. For once in my life I wasn't alone, I was valued for something other than my skill set. He taught me what it was like to love." You gulped, shaking your head, seeing Tony's eyes widen. "I might not have known him long, and perhaps my feelings were clouded from them being the first, but I would have died for Peter. Without question, I would have exchanged my life for his." 

It was a bit of a shock to feel Tony's hand on your shoulder, but you let it stay there. Turning your head, you met his glossed eyes. "If I could, I would've too. But if I knew this was going to happen, that he was going to be stuck here," He gestured to the room of the ship you were in. "In space with nowhere to go, suffer as he could count down to the last days of his life, I wouldn't. Because nothing is worse than knowing you're going to die, and you can't do nothing about it." 

"Or knowing the people around you are going to die, and you can't do anything about it." You added, your voice a whisper. 

"The world isn't fair. Hell, the universe isn't fair." He told you. "But you gotta roll with the punches, yeah? Take what's given to you, and make the best of it. Try to make life better for the people you care about." He patted where his hand was reassuringly on your shoulder. "C'mon, let's go to bed." He stood up again, this time with a small groan, and held his hand out for you to take. "Don't make me say it," he cracked a small smile and you couldn't help but let the expression wash over your face as well. 

Taking his hand, you bunked with him that night. You figured he wanted you to have the comfort of not being alone, but you quickly realized that he needed it just as much as you, the both of you softly talking until you started to feel drowsy. You had solidified the bond you were afraid of forming, but what was worse than having the chance of companionship once more and not taking it before the start of lifetimes without them?


	9. eight

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 _Well tonight, we_ _ll_ _tonight will it ever come?_  
 _Spend the rest of your days rockin' out just for the dead_  
 _Well tonight, will it ever come?_  
 _I can see you awake anytime in my head_  
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You didn't know how you had never caught Tony using his helmet to record himself before. You stood silently in the doorway that separated the cockpit and the rest of the ship and listened, tears in your eyes as he talked to the mask like it was a person. And then you heard a soft _"Pepper",_ and realized that he was recording video letters to a woman he didn't even know was alive or not. Recording letters to the woman he loved. You had to walk away, forgetting why you went to go get him in the first place, because he looked so happy despite his skin being pale and sunken from malnutrition. He was pretending he was happy for her. For Pepper.

As you walked back to where Nebula was, sitting down at a table with the rest of the food that was left; which wasn't much, her head turned sharply toward you, her black eyes immediately finding yours.

"Where is Stark?"

"He is busy," you said, wiping your eyes before she saw you were crying. "I figured to let him finish up before the bad news."

"This is urgent, Y/N." She told you, both her voice and features grim.

"I understand. Just give him this."

"Give me what?" You turned around at the sound of Tony's voice, seeing him hold himself against the wall as he walked into the room. "I hope you two aren't planning on sneaking me your rations again."

"No. Yours are all that's left, anyway," Nebula said softly, gesturing at the table that Tony had split into three over two weeks ago. His section had the last two serving packets.

Narrowing his eyes at Nebula, he picked up a silver package and tossed it in her section. "I know that's yours. I only had one last night. Try being sneakier next time.

She bowed her head, as if she was ashamed of getting caught. You knew Nebula usually snuck him the food anyway somehow. He needed it the most out of the three of you. "Tony. Take it." You tried to demand, but your voice was weak. In no circumstance did you ever think you could raise your voice to him without feeling intimidated. Tony was slick with his words, finding loopholes in sentences and statements and working himself out of them. You'd witnessed firsthand him get his way just by talking. You were on the receiving end of that argument. "Please." You elected to add last minute.

Tony's features softened, and he realized he might as well. "How we doing?" He then asked after a couple of minutes went by and no one said a word.

"Not good." You answered, looking to Nebula to deliver the bad news. You just couldn't do it.

"We only have forty-four hours of oxygen left. Maybe less." There wasn't any beating around the bush with her.

You watched as what little solace Tony had found in recording had drained from his body, the realization of that that meant, what being out in space even meant in the first place, hitting him full force. Of course you had already known, Nebula had already known, Tony definitely already knew this was coming. But now it was here. Death was right around the corner.

He glanced at you, who couldn't bring yourself to focus on anything other than the armored boots on your feet. You couldn't face him, not knowing you didn't have much time left before you were alone again. Not yet.

"Oh." The word was soft and simple, if it was even a word and not just a sound. "Paper football anyone?" Just like that, he pushed down his feelings and offered an alternate topic.

"Tony," you said quietly.

"Nope." He held his hand out in your direction, closing his fingers together. "Not another word about our impending doom." He sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Now let me ask again. Paper football? Come on, I'll show you guys how to play. It's fun."

Nebula shook her head, walking out of the room, the heels of her boots clicking on the metal grates until she couldn't be heard anymore. "I will play." You answered. If that's what Tony wanted, the least you could do was give it to him.

"Good. D'you think they are scissors or something around here? I need something to cut this." He pulled out an old food wrapper from a bin and inspected the shiny foil. "Never mind, I'll just rip it."

You sat down at the larger table in the room, watching as Tony sat across from you, ripping the bag with his teeth, and the focusing as he started to fold it into a smaller shape. You watched his fingers smooth creases until he was left with a small foil triangle. He admired his work for a second before he looked up at you with a small smile.

"Here, hold your fingers like this:" he put down the triangle and instead held his hands together on the table; his thumbs touching, and all of his fingers were down expect for his two forefingers. You examined the pose before replicating it yourself. It was simple enough. "Okay, now hold still and watch."

You followed his directions, following his movements as he held up the triangle, one finger holding it up on the table by one point, the opposite pressed against the table. His other hand came up behind it. What you weren't expecting, although you should have been, was when Tony flicked the foil, sending it in your direction. You flinched a little as it flew towards you, but let out a short laugh when it passed your fingers and hit your side, falling to the ground.

"See, the goal is to make it between your fingers." He then held his hands like your was again. "Pick it up and you try." He urged, a small smile on his face as he looked at you.

You felt the excitement welling inside of you at the simple game, and you did up just that. Maybe focusing a little too hard and taking a little too long trying to aim before you flicked the foil. A _little_ too hard. It shot up into the air, and Tony had to dodge the triangle before it hit him in the face.

" _Sorry!_ " Your hands covered your mouth as Tony just shrugged.

"It happens. You'll get the hang of it." He stood up and got the foil. As he sat back down, you took your previous position with your hands out, waiting for him to make his move.

The two of you went back and forth for a while. You were too sure what Nebula was doing until out of the corner of your eye you saw her enter the room again, sitting down on the bench against the wall and watching as you and Tony continued to play. He asked if she wanted to join, but he only got the reply "maybe later."

After a little while, Tony was in the lead with three points, and you in second with two, but you were set on tying the score as you readied to flick the foil into the goal.

Everything was fine one moment, laughter filled the room, smiling faces, but in the next, everything changed.

You were about to make your move when suddenly a wave of exhaustion crashed over you, making your head spin and the corners of your vision blur. You felt weak, and Tony's voice was distorted as you fell from your seat and to the floor. Muffled footsteps, from both Nebula and Tony, as your body convulsed. You felt like you were being drained. Not just of energy, but of everything.

It happened again and again, adding to a total of six times. You heard Tony say something about a seizure, but you weren't exactly sure what that was or if it could even happen to you. You felt hands on your legs and hands on your head, trying to keep you still. You started to calm down, and the fuzzy picture of Tony hovering over you cleared up until you could see him clearly again.

"What the hell, kid? Are you okay?"

"What was that?" You heard Nebula ask, her hands leaving your legs and she sat back. It took you batting Tony's hands away twice, because you were feeling better already, but he let you sit up. You were feeling better, but you also felt different.

"I..." you paused after trailing off. "I am not sure. That has never happened before. Tony let out a breath, bringing his hand to his brow. But as you were thinking about what had just happened, what you had just felt, you came to one conclusion. "Nebula," your voice had a tone of command they hadn't heard before. "May I have your blade?"

"Why?" You heard Tony ask, glancing between the two of you, but Nebula pulled her dagger from her belt and handed it to you hilt first. "What are you doing?!" You heard Tony ask as you pressed the cool metal to your skin, the blade sharp enough to break skin without you having to use much pressure as you drew a small line across your forearm, wincing and biting the inside of your cheek at the pain.

Scarlet blood made an appearance out of the fresh cut, but you didn't care. You just watched and waited. One. Five. Ten. Ten seconds passed before the small wound began to heal, your skin closing back together and leaving no trace you were hurt other than the blood dripping down your skin.

"What was that?!" Tony asked, gulping as you grabbed a rag and hastily cleaned your arm.

"Something happened to the Infinity Stones." You answered. "Usually I heal instantly."

"Oh, so to test your wild theory you just decided to cut yourself without any warning? Gotcha." The room was filled with tense silence. You tried to think of what could have caused this to happen to you, and the only thing that came to mind was that someone had tried to destroy the Stones. They were your source of power. _Thanks had tried to destroy the Stones._

No one could truly destroy the Infinity Stones. Not even the Stones themselves. The best they could do was to reduce the objects to atoms, particles floating in the air. But every particle still held the power. That would never go away; the Celestials created them that way. They were just catalysts. By destroying them only means that no one would ever be able to use them or their power ever again.

"It does not matter." You whispered, staring down at the ground. "I am sorry for worrying you."

"Come on Y/N, don't apologize." Tony pursed his lips as you handed Nebula back her weapon. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I am fine." You told him.

"You don't look fine. How about you get some sleep?" You stared up at him, and his face contorted into a very parental expression, not too different from a face you had seen May make towards Peter. "Don't argue, bags literally appeared under your eyes in seconds."

"I am not tired." You countered despite what he had just said.

"Keep telling yourself that kid, but I'm making sure you fall asleep even if it takes me laying there with you. I think we all need a small nap. Hey Nebula, wanna have a sleepover?" He gave you a reassuring smile. You don't know exactly what it was that made Nebula actually join you, but not even five minutes later, the three of you were lying on makeshifts beds on the ground instead of in the sleeping quarters so all of you could be in the same room. You made mindless conversation for a little while, before you began to drift off.

You had a dream.

Those were starting to become common. The first time it had happened, it was confusing and made you ultimately wary of going back to sleep. It was about Peter, the memory of the day on Coney Island. It had felt so real, you reliving that day, the feelings of excitement, the emotions of admiration and longing.

The second time it had happened, you were back with the Celestials, listening and not permitted to move as Death, Entropy, Infinity and Eternity scolded you for failure. You had woken up angry that day. There were a few more, but those were the ones that stuck with you. You tried your hardest not to sleep too often, because you weren't in complete control of your body when you were unconscious, and you would start to breath the oxygen. Or you wouldn't at all, and Tony or Nebula would come to wake you up and think you were dead because they wouldn't see your chest rise and fall.

But this time, your dream was about Peter again.

You woke up, breathing heavily as cold sweat dropped down your face. Your throat hurt, like you had been screaming. You probably had been. The first dream was the night you spent with Tony. The next day he told you you mumbled in your sleep, but he couldn't figure out what you were saying. Looking around, you didn't see Tony or Nebula. You knew you had been sleeping longer than a couple of hours. It might have even been the next day.

You tried to blink the images away, but they were forever scorched in your brain. Nearly every day your thoughts would drift back to Titan, but this was the fourth time you've experienced that day through your dreams again. Watching as Mantis, Quill, Drax, Strange and eventually Peter turn to dust again. Each time was slightly different, not an exact retelling, but the pain was still there. You would scream for Peter, run to him, hold him in your arms and beg, but nothing ever stopped him from suffering, nothing ever stopped him from leaving.

Tony had called them nightmares when you first told him about them. He explained that those were the bad dreams, the ones that left you shaking and an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach. You hated them.

The door had slid open, and Tony rushed into the room, finding you immediately where you were still panting on the floor, wiping your face with the back of your hand. "Another one, huh?" You only nodded your head, not ready to speak yet. He crouched down next to you, and you wished he hadn't. Not because you didn't want his presence, but you saw how much it had taken out of him to do so. "You were screaming again."

You nodded again, trying to wet your dry throat. You blinked away the tears threatening to spill.

"I have some news, but I don't think it's what you need to hear right now." Tony held his hand for you to take and the both of you stood. "How about we get some food in you, and we can play another game? Maybe a different one this time. We might as well."

And that's what you had tried. You declined the food though, you couldn't take it from him. It was grim day though, and even in attempts to keep positive, they always failed. You were dreading tomorrow morning, when you were most likely going to find the lifeless bodies of your two closest friends laying in the cold ground. You couldn't even bring yourself to think about the alternative where you would be awake to witness their deaths. You might go insane if you had to watch them gasp for air, struggle to breath before taking their final breath. You would go insane. Two more deaths would be your fault.

The hours slowly passed, each minute bringing you closer to the inevitable future. You were going to be plunged back into the silence, and no matter how familiar it would be, it wouldn't ever be the same. Not after finding out how much better it is to have people with you, filling that silence.

This time you were the one sitting in the sidelines as you watched Tony and Nebula play paper football. He didn't have to teach her like he did with you, because she had watched your game, but she was taking it more seriously than you had been. Tony made soft remarks and small tips to help her out, and it didn't take long before they were tied up. A smile appeared on your face as Nebula made a goal, scoring her third point and becoming the winner.

"And you've won. Congratulations. Fair game." You saw the shock wash over Nebula's face, and it was heartbreaking. Tony held out his hand for her to shake, and hesitantly, she took it. "Good sport. You have fun?"

"It was fun." She replied, hints of a smile appearing at the corners of her lips, but it never reached.

"Wanna play again?" Tony asked, glancing in your direction, silently asking if you wanted to join. You said nothing. You were watching them, trying to stretch out your last moments as much as you could. You couldn't get caught up in the fun; then the time would fly by.

"I would like too, yes," Nebula had answered, and Tony picked up the foil triangle again. They both took their positions, and unlike the last game and more like the one between you and Tony, they were playing first to five points.

Despite your attempts to stretch the day, it had gotten late according to the clock on the ship. It was nearing midnight and everyone had gone their separate directions. Nebula had closed herself in one of the sleeping quarters, and Tony had gone to the cockpit again.

You knew why by now; he was hoping to get in one last recording. You had tried to stop yourself from getting up and following him, listen in to his final words, give him the privacy he wanted as you stayed seated in the main room alone. But then you had realized that he wasn't planning on coming back. Tony was planning on dying in there. Those were going to be his last words, and as much as it would hurt, you wanted to hear them.

You kept your footsteps as soft as you could, quietly sliding open the door and watching from a distance as Tony spoke, looking the worst he had been the entire time you've spent with him.

"Pep, I know I said no more surprises...but I gotta say I was really hoping to pull one last one. But it looks like...well you know what it looks like. Don't feel bad about this." He started to rub his hand against his head. "I mean, actually, if you grovel for a couple weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt..." he rested his head in his hand. "I should probably lie down for a minute. Go rest my eyes." He sighed. "Please know, when I drift off, it'll be like every night lately. I'm fine. Totally fine. I dream about you. Because it's always you."

You watched as he reached into his helmet and heard a soft click, the light illuminating the eyes fading as it powered off. A hand on your shoulder made you jump, but you made no sound. Turning your head, you saw Nebula standing next to you. You weren't sure how long she was there, but the glossy sheen over her eyes showed she heard as much or even the same amount as you did.

You looked back at Tony, and saw his eyes were open as he laid on the ground. He saw you and Nebula, but made no attempt to get up. He was too exhausted, even you could tell the air was getting thin. Instead, he let his lip quirk upward for a millisecond, one last reassurance that it was okay, before closing his eyes.

You and Nebula stood there a couple of minutes in complete silence. After a little while, she stepped forward and walked to Tony. You watched as she crouched down and moved his face, checking if he was still breathing before she gently lifted him up and carried him to the pilots seat. As her hand left him, she bowed her head, and you knew she was saying her final goodbye before she walked back towards you.

Nebula brushed against your shoulder as she headed back out, but you couldn't bring yourself to move just yet. Instead, you slowly walked forward, peering between the large windows that showed a ocean blue galaxy ahead of you and Tony.

You stopped before going any further, resting just a couple feet behind him. You took a deep breath and was about to continue to advance when you thought you had seen the blue glow filling the room turn to green.

You turned to the windows, and realized you hadn't actually saw something. The green was getting more vibrant as you saw something bright and yellow much like a star race toward The Benatar, the green glow quickly transitioning to golden as the star got closer and closer.

Tony had started to move, wake up as the light got brighter, almost blinding. But then it dimmed, and you couldn't believe your eyes.

There floated a woman, dressed in red, blue, and gold. She saw Tony, making eye contact with him before her gaze shifted to you. The both of you locked eyes, and a small smirk appeared on her face.

"Mind if I give you a lift?"


	10. nine

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 _It may sound absurd, but don't be naive_  
 _Even heroes have the right to bleed_  
 _I may be disturbed, but won't you concede?_  
 _Even heroes have the right to dream_  
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The Benatar landed on the ground with a series of low groans. Carol had brought it back to Earth; she carried the ship with her own two hands. You were back on Earth. 

You saw people rushing outside through the window, and Nebula was clutching Tony's arm. Help he was reluctant at first to accept, but then when he almost fell his first step, he held onto her just as tight. You lowered the ramp and it hit the ground with a hissing thud, and hung back as Tony and Nebula began to descend, keeping your distance as you saw a man run up ahead of the crowd. Your chest swelled upon the recognition of Steve as the man, he had shaved his beard, but you refused to move from your spot on the ship, overlooking the Avengers Compound in the dark of the night and the group of people, many of which you recognized. 

Steve helped Tony down the remaining steps, and you could hear his breathing from the distance become heavy. "Couldn't stop him." He panted out. 

"Neither could I." You could hear the deep sorrow in Steve's voice. 

"Hang on," the words were a whisper, and you only saw them because you were watching them intently. Tony and Steve stopped walking as he turned to speak to him. He paused and took a shaky breath before he spoke. "I lost the kid."

Even from the distance, you could see the sadness resurface in Tony's eyes and face and appear in Steve's. "Tony, _we_ lost." 

You could see the question arise in Tony in his hesitance. He was afraid to even ask it. "Is, uh...?" But then you saw a woman, one you didn't recognize right away, jog up to Tony and Steve. "Oh, good." 

"Oh, my God!" Her voice was high and full of both disbelief and relief. Immediately, she wrapped her arms around Tony. "Oh my God!" She repeated, this time, her voice cracking as she began to cry. 

That's when it clicked in your head who it was. Her long strawberry-blonde hair and high cheekbones, her beauty that you've only ever heard from Tony's descriptions before. As Tony kissed her on the cheek, you realized that this was her. This was Pepper. 

"It's okay." 

They turned to walk back to the Compound, and Tony glanced back at you. The silent command was in his eyes: _"follow us."_ But you weren't too sure what to do yet. Your gaze fell down as you saw someone—thing—animal—the raccoon from the battle on Wakanda, sit down next to Nebula. He patted her leg before she turned her hand, her head dipped down, and held his. 

You bowed your head as well. There weren't many people standing on the field, which means that not everyone survived. Which was to be expected, but it still hurt. You didn't see Bucky or Sam. Wanda was gone too, and so was Vision. 

"Y/N?" Your head shot up at the sound of Natasha's voice, and you saw her standing on the steps, a couple of feet from you. Her hand outstretched.

A small tense smile was on her lips as she waited, and you got the feeling you shouldn't turn her down. Taking her hand, the both of you walked slowly, behind the rest of the group, in silence, into the compound. 

No one spoke. They probably felt the same way you did. Words would either wouldn't be able to portray the exact emotions running through your mind, or they would be too depressing. Like everyone needs more reason to be depressed after half of all of existence disappeared in a few mere moments. The blink of an eye. Trillions, maybe more, were gone, and everyone equally was blaming themselves for failing. 

"It's late," someone murmured, you weren't exactly sure who, after the group of you—Natasha, Tony, Pepper, Steve, Bruce, Thor, Rhodes, and Carol—just stood inside for a solid five minutes of silence. "We can talk tomorrow. Let's just go to bed." It was Rhodes. 

Everyone weakly nodded their head and slowly started to disperse. You watched as everyone hesitantly left the room, heading in separate directions. To bed. Tony hadn't let go of Pepper yet, and you didn't think he was going to anytime soon, as the woman led him down a hallway. You had noticed that Natasha stayed behind as she realized you didn't move, and she walked toward you again. 

"Hey, I'll show you where you can sleep, come on," her voice was soft and low, unlike how you had heard it when you had met her; hard and commanding. Her edge had softened. Was it because of everything that had happened, or was it because she now had reason to trust you? Even if you failed. 

You didn't know if you wanted to go to sleep. The thought kept running through your mind on a loop as you followed Natasha through a sleek modern hallway that slowly became more homey the longer you travelled down. She opened a white wooden door and displayed a basic bedroom. Nothing gave it any personality, it hadn't been anyone's before. And if it had, everything had been stripped away. A wooden dresser was against the wall, a queen sized bed perpendicular to it. A full length mirror was across from large curtain covered windows. There was another door inside, which you could only come to the conclusion led to a bathroom. But other than that, and the plant in the corner, the bedroom was empty. 

"Thank you," your voice was a whisper as you stepped in. The room was slightly colder than where you just were, but at least being inside and on Earth again was better than being stranded in cold space all alone. 

All alone. 

That's why you were so afraid of going back to sleep. You were so close to being all alone again, left with nothing but your thoughts. And you knew it would take time before you could be alone in a room without anyone else, but you weren't sure if you were ready yet. Ready for Natasha to leave. 

"Um," you began after you saw the woman prepare to leave. You felt like you were being rude as you turned your head and saw that she was going to say something as well, and you cut her off. "I um...where are you sleeping?" 

Natasha's face softened, and it seemed she could read right through your words to hear their true meaning. "I'm just down the hall. But if you want me to stay here with you I will." 

"Please." You blurted out, maybe a little too fast. Your fingers were desperately wringing together, from both want, maybe even need, and nervousness. "I just...I don't think I can be alone tonight." Normally, you thought, you would have asked Tony. But for the first time in almost a month, he was reunited with Pepper after a near-death experience. From the stories he's told, this wasn't the first time, but you still didn't want to intrude. 

From the look on Natasha's face, you could tell immediately she understood. It pained you to think that a look of understanding like that could only come from a person who has felt that way before. That wasn't something you wanted to ask about tonight. 

Natasha closed the door, the both of you alone in the room, and dimmed the lights so that the only one emanating light was a lamp next to the bed. She silently nodded to the bed, and the both of you sat down. She was smiling at you, and this time, it was different than the smile she had given you just minutes earlier. This one seemed less forced, more...welcoming. Warm. It suited her. 

"We can get you more clothes in the morning. For now, let's just take off your shoes and we can lay down. Okay?" Natasha said quietly, untying her boots and placing them on the ground. You carefully copied her actions, slipping off your boots so the silver armor didn't make a lot of noise against the wood floors. You shifted up the bed, and the memory of the last time you slept on one flooded your mind. 

The mattress was a lot softer than the one in Peter's room, and the pillows were fluffier, but for some reason you still preferred being in his room in Queens. 

"Thank you." You whispered softly to Natasha after the both of you covered up under the dark green comforter that was fitted on the bed. 

"There's only so much I can do. I might as well do it." She answered before she turned off the light. 

Your entire body froze as you were plunged into darkness again. You thought it might have been a familiar setting, but instead, it instilled so much fear into you, you thought you might have thrown up. Natasha had to know, because it wasn't even a minute of the darkness before she shifted from her back to her side and grabbed your hand again, rubbing her thumb soothingly along the back of your hand and your eyes met in the dark. 

Natasha radiated comfort, just as Peter had. It was a little surprising, given how she was so defensive when you first met her, but you welcomed it. Cherished the feeling of being with someone, feeling their body heat next to yours. Hearing their beating heart. You blinked a couple of times as you felt drowsiness begin to wash over you, and after another minute or so had passed, you let your eyes close. 

You half expected Natasha to leave once you had fallen asleep, so you couldn't help but to feel surprised when you woke up and you were cuddled into her side, your face resting on her chest as a soft hand ran through your hair and down your cheek. You refused to move, let her know you were awake yet because you saw her lips moving as she softly hummed a song in a language other than English although you could understand it all the same. Russian. Her voice was beautiful even if the tune sounded melancholy, the words were just as sad, and her touch was entrancing. You didn't know how early it was, or how long she had been awake, but you were going to enjoy this, the touch of her hand and the sound of her voice, as long as she let you, even as the sun slowly started to fill the room with a bright yellow-white light.

"You've always been alone, haven't you?" Natasha's words made your eyes shoot open. You hadn't been sleeping, no, just enjoying the moment which you selfishly stretched into nearly twenty minutes. She must've noticed the shift in your breathing, or maybe she had seen your eyes open at first after all and just went with it. Either way, she knew you were awake the whole time, and you started to feel embarrassed. But you answered her question. 

"Yes." You hadn't realized how dry your throat felt until you had spoken. You gulped, trying to produce saliva to help ease the uncomfortable feeling. "I had my initiation training, and once I was deemed worthy enough to shadow underneath a Harbinger, I was put to sleep. I was to stay like that until the Harbingers were needed." You paused when you realized Natasha was waiting for you to finish, her lips turned down slightly, but her movements never stopped. "When I woke up, I had no idea how much time had passed. Not consciously, but my body felt the ache, the stiffness from being in the same position, the same place, for thousands of years." 

"Could you have woken up if you wanted too?" 

"Yes. I...I explained this to Peter before. I could have asked to travel, explore the cosmos. I could even have abandoned my position and lived out a life on a different planet, stripped of my powers if someone could take my place. But I wanted to fight, to serve my masters, as do most. So I stayed in my eversleep, waiting to be needed." You shifted to sit up next to Natasha, regretting the action slightly as you missed the feeling of her hand caressing your skin. The reassuring touch that someone was there. 

Natasha opened her mouth as if to say something, but then she shut it almost immediately. You wanted to know what was on her mind, but she shut her eyes and let out a soft sigh. The conversation was over. 

"Come on. I'm sure everyone else is awake and waiting for us." Natasha got out of bed fluidly, moving much like a dancer, her feet making practically no sound as she hopped off the bed and landed on the ground. She slipped on her shoes and quickly laced them back up as you got out of bed. You stepped into your boots, the metal armor sending chills through your body from being untouched all night. You watched as Natasha ran a hand through her blonde hair, smoothing it slightly, and you figured you should do the same as you followed her silently through the halls again.

You turned a couple of corners, she wasn't leading you to the common room you were in last night, but instead, what looked like a kitchen and small dining area. Natasha was right: everyone else was awake. Heads turned as the both of you entered, but no one said a word. Steve cocked up an eyebrow at the woman, but that was otherwise it. 

You figured they weren't up long, or maybe the food was just fresh, because it was still steaming as Natasha basically thrust a plate into your hands. You hadn't even noticed her walk from your side and gather food for you until she was standing in front of you with it. She had a plate of her own, but the contents were less. Then she sat down next to you, seemingly closer than she needed too, but it wasn't like you were complaining. You weren't. In fact, if you didn't know any better, you would think she was taking you in under her wing. Just like Tony had. But in her own special way. It made you feel wanted. In more than just an asset type of way. You felt loved again. 

You ate in silence. Most everyone else was already finishing up, but they stayed even after they had finished. Tony, Rhodes and Pepper were talking quietly amongst themselves. Carol and Thor had distanced themselves from the group, although Carol was closer and activity participating in conversation with Bruce. Nebula and the raccoon were nowhere in sight, but you had the feeling they hadn't left. 

You cleaned up silently too, feeling like there wasn't any other way to do it. The air was heavy with several different emotions: grief, anger, regret and pain. The only lightness was from Pepper, who repeatedly pressed kisses against Tony's head, squeezing his hand every couple of minutes as he sat in a wheelchair, a bag supplying water full of nutrients and electrolytes to him through an IV drip in his arm behind him. The man she loved survived after thinking he was dead. Tony felt the same way; he thought Pepper was gone. He knew there was that chance. And here they were, a hope in the dark that not everything was lost. 

Maybe a conversation ensued that talked about what you were doing, but you weren't too sure. Everything seemed to merge together, you just stuck by Natasha's side as the group of the remaining Avengers migrated to another part of the room, just across the way. But once you realized Pepper reluctantly broke off, and that the air had shifted to serious, that you had moved to talk business, you hung back. You were only going to talk if someone prompted you to. While you may have been older than them, they were adults and wiser and more experienced than you are. They knew what they were doing, and you didn't need to get in their way. 

You watched as Rhodes walked over to a table, your eyes becoming large as a holographic screen appeared above it. A miniature figure of Earth appeared in the middle before the picture expanded even more, seven or eight other screens appearing, and it felt like a punch to the gut when faces appeared. It took you less than a second to realize who's faces they were. They were everyone who got dusted. 

Rhodes jumped right into it, his voice cutting the tense silence. It was like there was no other way to ease into this conversation, so he just started. "It's been twenty-three days since Thanos came to Earth." You shifted in your spot a little ways behind Tony, off to the side and also close to Natasha, preparing yourself. 

Natasha spoke up. "World governments are in pieces. Um, the parts that are still working are trying to take a census, and it looks like he did..." there was a long silence as Natasha swallowed hardly. Your eyes caught Tony, who had brought his hand to his face where he was sitting in his wheelchair in front of a screen. Your eyes had only caught it briefly, but you had seen Peter's picture. You felt sick to your stomach again, and you wondered how Tony felt. The picture was only two feet in front of him. "He did _exactly_ what he said he was gonna do. Thanos wiped out...fifty percent of all living creatures." 

Tony sharply inhaled. "Where is he now?" He turned his head to face Steve, who was standing and leaning against another table. "Where?"

"We don't know." Steve answered. "He just opened another portal and walked through." 

Tony sighed. "What's wrong with him?" He asked, pointing to Thor. 

"Oh, he's pissed." You didn't know when the raccoon entered the room, but frankly that didn't matter very much. "He thinks he failed." _We all think we failed,_ you thought. "Which of course he did, but there's a lot of that going around, ain't there?" 

"Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear." You realized this was Tony's first initial reaction to the talking animal. 

"Maybe I am." 

"We've been hunting Thanos for three weeks now." Steve was speaking again. "Deep space scans...and satellites, and we got nothing. Tony, you fought him—"

"Who told you that?" Everyone in the room looked to him. "I didn't fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet...while the Bleeker Street magician gave away the store. That's what happened."

"Okay." Steve's word was a barely audible whisper.

"There was no fight, 'cause he's not beatable." 

"Did he give you any clues, any coordinates, anything?" Tony told you in his stories that Steve used to be Captain America, the leader of the Avengers, and you could see that in his words, his face. Steve was a natural born commander. 

"Uh," Tony held his hand up and gave Steve a mock salut as he made a sputtering noise. You could see the disappointed looks in Steve and Natasha's faces. There was extra tension forming in the air, and it wasn't just because of Thanos. "I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision. I didn't wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming." His hand went back to his face, rubbing his cheek and lips. 

"Tony, I'm gonna need you to focus." Steve stood up fully. 

"And I _needed_ you." There was a venom now lacing his words you had never heard before. "As in, past tense. That trumps what you need. It's too late, buddy. Sorry." He let out another sigh, and you saw as he began to shift forward. He sniffed before his hand pounded forcefully on the table, making the bowl in front of him go clattering across the table. Everyone them became concerned as he stood up. "You know what I need? I need a shave." You took a step forward, but something told you that no matter what you did, you just had to let Tony run his course, let him get out what he has to say. "And I believe telling all youse..." 

"Tony," Rhodes began as Tony tore at the IV needle in his arm. "Tony, Tony—"

"...alive and otherwise, that what _we_ needed was a suit of armor around the world." His voice was now becoming louder with rising anger. "Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not. That's what we _needed_." 

"Well, that didn't work out, did it?" 

This conversation took a darker turn, into territory you weren't familiar with. Tony's words were pointed, with specific intent, talking about specific events you didn't know about. 

"I said we'd lose. You said, "we'll do that together, too." And guess what, Cap? We _lost_. And you weren't there. But that's what we do, right? Our best work after the fact?" Rhodes went to go calm Tony down again, grabbing onto his arms, but he kept going. "We're the " _A_ vengers" We're the "Avengers", not the "Pre-vengers"."

"Okay,"

"Right?" 

"You made your point," Rhodes said with a pleading tone. "Just sit down, okay?" 

"Okay. No, no, here's my point. You know what? She's _great_ by the way." Tony pointed to Carol as Rhodes continued to try and get Tony to sit. "We need you. You're new blood." He glanced at you as well, but you could tell as his expression became apologetic for a split second, that he didn’t _want_ to include you, before it hardened again, facing the group. "Bunch of tired old mules." He broke out of Rhodes' grasp, and Rhodes just sat back down, giving up, "I got nothing for you, Cap." Tony stumbled across the floor, stopping just shy of two feet from Steve's face. Pointing to him. "I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero. Zip, Nada." You got chills again, this time because of the words Tony spewed like acid from his mouth, even as his voice had dropped to a harsh whisper. "No trust, _liar_." 

Suddenly, his hand grabbed the blue reactor on his chest and he ripped it off. You couldn't see his face, only the hurt on Steve's, but from his shaky breathing, you could tell it caused him some pain. He slammed it into Steve's hand. "Here, take this. You find him, you put that on...you hide." 

Tony then fell to his knees, and this time, you couldn't stop yourself from rushing across the room. "Tony!" Steve exclaimed, concern lacing his voice even with all that was just said to him. 

"I'm fine." Tony insisted as Steve, Carol and Rhodes reached for him. "Let me..." but he couldn't finish his sentence before he collapsed on the ground. 

You stopped behind Natasha, the fear you felt in the pit of your stomach last night returning as you gazed at Tony's unconscious body. It had been too much exertion, spent too much energy, for him to get that angry. His blood pressure must have rose too much, making him faint. 

You were wringing your hands again—a habit you were developing—as you watched Rhodes and Steve lift Tony up. Carol ran to get Bruce. You followed Tony as they brung him to another place down the hall. It looked close to a medical wing. Rhodes let go and let Steve lay him on the small one person bed in there, and you hung in the back of the room as Carol and Bruce appeared. Natasha was right behind them with a worried Pepper right on her heels. 

Bruce told everyone that Tony would be all right, and that's all you—and you could tell, Pepper— cared about. He gave him a sedative to calm him down, and that he would be asleep for a little while as it worked it's way through his system. Everyone waited a couple of moments, and then they all turned away to the room just outside. You knew they were going back to the matter at hand: finding Thanos, but you didn't care. 

Sitting right in front of you was the woman you've heard endless stories about. The woman Tony's heart belonged to, the woman he spoke so highly about, told you numerous times that he didn't feel like he deserved her. You adored this woman before you had even met her, and now you have a chance to talk to her, tell her how Tony really feels, alone. Give her some comfort like you had been on the receiving end of. 

"He recorded himself." You broke the silence, and you watched as she lifted her head from where she was kissing the back of his hand, holding it tightly between hers. "He recorded videos he was hoping you would see." You gave her a soft smile, and you watched as her eyes flickered over your face and then body before meeting your eyes and holding your stare. 

"I got them." She told you, her voice shaky but strong. "I watched them all..." it cracked just then. "He talked about you," she then began, and your head tilted slightly. You had heard only two or so of the recordings, and then they weren't even the entirety. "He cares about you, you know?" You glanced over at Tony's sleeping body, his heart monitor beeping steadily. "Talks about you just like he talks about— talked about Peter. The same concern, the same fatherly tone..." she shook her head slightly, a light laugh escaping her lips even. "He said that if he could've, if somehow you had gotten back to Earth, he would have made sure you had a home here. Someone taking care of you. He even asked me if I would be up for it." Your eyes widened when you took in the meaning of that sentence. "He doesn't want you to be alone, not after all this. Not in this world, after what you've been through. What we all have been through." 

"I didn't know that," your voice was soft, and your eyes rapidly glanced between two of the tiles on the ground. "He said..." you trailed off, letting out a breath. You weren't expecting this conversation to be about you, and you weren't too sure how to process it. 

You must've stayed quiet for a while, because as you were staring at the ground, you saw two feet appear in your line of sight before a hand clasped over yours where you were pulling on your fingers. Your head shot up, and you saw Pepper standing in front of you, a small warm smile as she grasped your hand tighter. "You have a home with us if you want it." Then she shook her head. "You don't deserve to be all out there on your own, not again." 

"I..." you glanced down at your hands and where Pepper's was resting on top. She really was as amazing as Tony had described her. "Thank you." A smile of your own appeared. You didn't know what else to say—what else you _could_ say. 

"You're one of us. Through and through."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I start school again Monday. 
> 
> I can do it. 
> 
> *nervous pterodactyl screeching*


	11. ten

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 _Forever younger growing older just the same_  
 _All the memories that we make will never change_  
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"Y/N! Y/N come here!" A large smile appeared on your face as you heard the small excited voice. Turning your head, you saw the little Stark bounding toward you, brown hair flying behind her and wearing a grin a mile wide.

"Slow down Morgan, you'll fall," you laughed as you stood up and caught her as she jumped into your arms, swinging her around in the air as she laughed in your ear.

"Come look at what Daddy built me!" She told you once she managed to stop laughing, pushing on your chest for you to let her down. She grabbed your hand and immediately started pulling you back in the direction she just came from, dragging you away from the house.

"I'm sorry, you know I'm waiting for Auntie Nat," you tell her, an apologetic smile forming on your face as the girl stopped and turned around to you. "She'll be here in a minute." The text had said so.

"That's _today_?" She asked with a loud over dramatic sigh. "I don't want you to go yet!" You crouched down so you would be face level with the small girl, holding back a laugh as you saw the pout on her face.

"I'll be back, you know I always am." You tell her, pushing her hair away from her face and behind her ear. "I'm only gonna be gone the day. And then you know what?"

"What?" There was a hint of sniffle in her voice. Morgan always hated it when you left to spend some time at the Avengers Compound. You've been around since she was born, she grew up with you. You were her older sister.

"I'll sneak you back some candy," you leaned in closer and whispered in her ear, making her laugh, a hand flying up to cover her mouth. "Pretend to go to sleep, and when I come back, I'll sneak into your room and we'll eat it together, yeah? Gotta keep it secret though."

The toothy grin appeared back on her face, spreading to her eyes and Morgan rapidly nodded her head in promise. "I want the ones that make my mouth tingly!" She told you as you were still holding back laughter.

"You got it." You turned your head when you heard a car slowly pull up in front of the house, tire crunching on the leaves that had fallen on the gravel path, and as the door opened, watched as Natasha stepped out from the drivers seat and immediately looked to where you and Morgan were a couple yards away.

"Lunchtime Maguna!" Your head turned again when you heard Tony's voice ring out, seeing him step out of the side door and onto the porch you were just standing on. "Chop chop. You know the rule: let your food get cold and I get to eat it! And you know what that means. No dessert later." He said playfully and you stood up and bit back a smile as Morgan started giggling behind your legs. Tony immediately knew something was up as his daughter stayed behind you, peeking out from behind your legs instead of running to him. "Oh, so you don't care about dessert?" He asked Morgan as he glanced between where Natasha was waiting patiently for you and where you were still standing, watching the child come close to giving away your secret.

Morgan let out a soft protest and you turned around, giving her a big hug. "Go eat. I'll be back later with you know what." You whispered into her hair as the girls arms tightened around you.

"Promise?"

"Of course." You smiled and you watched as Morgan bounded up the stairs and hopped into the house, Tony ruffling a hand through her hair as she went by. You saw Pepper's figure move in the kitchen, getting Morgan situated with her food.

"Be home before midnight." Tony stared right into your eyes as he put on his best overprotective dad face.

"Don't worry," Natasha spoke, and you could hear the smirk in her voice without even having to look over.

"Tell Pep I said I'll see her later." You told him as you began to walk to the car. "Love you guys!"

"I know you do. Have fun." Tony called back as you opened the passenger side door and Natasha ducked back inside behind the wheel.

"I will." You gave him a small smile and watched as he went back inside before you got in the car with Natasha. Your smile faltered a little as you saw her hair had grown out even more and less was blonde. After a couple of months, Natasha revealed to you the real reason she was letting her hair grow out again, and it pained you, but you refused to let yourself hurt for too long anymore. Your days of letting yourself linger too long on the bad were over years ago; almost three at this point.

You straightened out the hoodie you wore—you found the bigger, the comfier—before you buckled your seat belt and let out a soft sigh as Natasha began to back up and turn the car around.

"Plans for today?" You then asked Natasha, excitement in your voice. Last time you went out with her, the both of you had went on a giant grocery trip and spent the day cooking various foods. There was no real reason, and Tony and Pepper were slightly confused when you came back with two whole cakes and a lasagna. At least they tasted _really_ good.

"I was just thinking we could hang around the base. Have a chill day. It seems like Morgan's been keeping you on your toes."

You let out a small laugh, watching as trees passed through the window. "You got that right. She has so much energy, it's amazing." You looked over at her as she glanced your way, a smirk on her face. "Do you still have that game we played a while ago? The one where the goal is to be the richest person and own all the land?"

"Monopoly." Natasha chuckled, and you watched as she slowed and pulled out of the hidden forest road and onto the one way street that led to the surrounding small town. "Yeah, we can play that. If you want, we can go pick up a couple more games?"

"No, that's okay. We can play some cards or something." You saw Natasha raise an eyebrow at you. Sometimes, you thought it still surprised her how fast you picked up on modern speech. Granted, it did take a couple of years, but after being surrounded by Tony on a daily basis and watching and listening as him and Pepper taught Morgan to speak, you picked up on the things you weren't too sure about. Both speech wise and about the world. Of course you hadn't seen _everything_ yet, but you could pass for any typical teenager now. You even had a phone to show for it, even if you didn't use it that often.

It was almost an hour drive back to the Avengers Compound. You searched as both you and Natasha walked through the empty halls. Looking for someone else, anyone else. You found yourself frowning again as the Compound really was completely empty. Natasha was living there alone. Steve had a place in Brooklyn and ran a counseling group in Queens. Nebula, Rocket and Carol went back to space to take care of problems up there. And Rhodes continued his job and was always all over the place, the rebuilding government sent him to different places every couple of weeks. Everyone had lives, and they were living them.

You were the one to bring up the weekly hangouts with Natasha. She was, and still is, collecting stress to place on her shoulders. She's trying her hardest to do the best she can for everyone else, worrying about everyone and everything else, that she isn't taking care of herself nearly as much as she should be. You came to a compromise with her a while back. That at least once a week, the two of you would do something to let off some steam; spend the day together.

"Want something to eat?" Natasha offered as the both of you stopped in the kitchen and you sat down.

You glanced around the room, and your eyes settled on the pink ballerina slippers that were resting on the top of the desk against the wall. She had practiced recently. Natasha noticed and took them, placing them on the floor under the desk before gravitating towards the refrigerator. "Hungry?" She repeated and you gave her a small smile with a shake of your head. She sighed and rested her arms on the countertop across from you, hanging her head for a moment before she lifted it up and met your eyes.

"Let's have some fun."

The both of you made small talk, catching up of what had happened in the past week as you and Natasha were curled up on the couch with the Monopoly board between the two of you. Friendly conversation and game pleas were spoken between turns, and before the you knew it, almost three hours and two games had gone by, you and Natasha each winning one.

"Best out of three?" You offered, and Natasha grinned, resetting the board.

The both of you were about to start your third go around when a light beeping sound filled the room. Your heads turning, you and Natasha saw she had an incoming holo-call from Rhodes and you both stood up, walking to the dark pedestal and accepting it.

"Hey," his voice and image flickered to life, tinted blue but so lifelike. "Oh, what's up Y/N?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "Nothing much." You said in reply. "Trying to convince Tony to not subject me to the torture of high school I've heard about."

"Pepper's still teaching you the basics?"

"She's the best and only teacher I want." You cracked a grin and Rhodes laughed a little before he glanced down at his feet.

"It's always nice of you to pop in and say hi," Natasha started, folding her arms. "But that's never the case. Something wrong?"

Rhodes' face hardened and you could see the disheartenment appear on his features. "I just inspected a crime scene in Montreal. An entire street was blocked off this time. Twelve victims." You weren't expecting the tone to shift so fast. Just a minute ago, you and Natasha were enjoying yourselves, taking a break from the world. And in those seconds, you both were harshly tugged back to the present day.

"Who were they?" Natasha demanded, her voice faltering a little bit but she cleared her throat so it wouldn't happen again. "Cause of death?" You felt what happiness there was in your chest deflate.

"Mixture of bleeding out and...and one of the guys was missing his head. They found it a block over. They _were_ weapons dealers."

"Are you sure it was him?" Natasha's voice was pleading as you kept your distance.

Over time, Natasha slowly opened up and told you about Clint Barton, her best friend. He was on house arrest from what happened with the Sokovia Accords in 2016 when The Snap happened, and when the world had taken a census of who was still alive, everyone thought he was dead. Turns out, he dropped off the grid, and Natasha found out the hard way that he took it upon himself to become an assassin, killing the people in the world who he thought deserved to die that didn't. He became a ghost; leaving no trace he was ever there and no trail to follow. The closest Natasha and Rhodes has come to finding him was keeping an eye forever peeled for the next time he attacked.

"Clean cuts, kill strikes every time...no trail." Rhodes shook his head and sighed. "It was him."

Natasha nodded her head, pursing her lips together. You knew this was slowly killing her, not being able to get to him, tell him to stop. That no matter how many bad people he killed, his family was never coming back.

"Thank you Rhodes." You said before Natasha could speak again. You knew what was running through her brain now, how much she was blaming herself for not being able to get to him.

"I'll see you later, yeah?" He gave you a weak smile. Natasha turned around and walked to the desk and wrote the new information down in the notebook she was using to try and track Clint. But he was moving faster than he should be, with money he shouldn't have.

"Bye." Rhodes disconnected the call, his hologram faded away and the room was filled with silence.

Natasha put down her pen a little harder than she should have before letting out a broken breath.

"We'll find him," you reassured her in a soft voice, walking quietly over and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," She took a deep breath as her eyes scanned the paper before she shut the notebook and stood up, gulping. "Where were we?"

You shook your head. "We can't just go back like that, you know that."

"Today's supposed to be about us. Now let's go back to the game."

"You want to see if you can find him. Let me help." You stepped next to her, opening the notebook again and turning on the PC in the corner.

"Y/N..."

"Rhodes said Montreal, right?" You glanced over at Natasha, who was staring at you with a wild expression in her eyes, contradicting the blank look of the rest of her face.

"Let me do it." She then said softly, gently pushing you aside as she looked up the murders Rhodes was talking about and pulling up an article.

"I'll get the snacks." You turned around to head towards the kitchen before you stopped. "Do you have any Sour Patch Kids?"

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You fitted your key into the lock of the front door as you quietly entered the house. It wasn't too late, only a little past nine. Slipping your sneakers off and pushing them against the wall, you turned the corner to find Pepper and Tony lounging on the couch together, a book in Pepper's hands while her feet were in Tony's lap, and he was just mindlessly rubbing her legs as he seemed to be thinking.

"Hello there," Pepper was the first to notice you, her lips curling up in a smile and Tony turned his head to see you, both of them following you with your eyes as you sat down in an armchair across from the end of the couch. "Have a good time?"

"Like always," you tell them. You didn't want to bring up the tangent that consisted of a good hour and a half of trying to find Clint. That would just bring the comfortable mood down, and the last thing you wanted to do was to ruin their peace. "Morgan's asleep?"

"She went down a little bit ago. Wanted to stay up until you got back." Tony told you, narrowing his eyes. "She said you were bringing something back. Care to elaborate?" He raised an eyebrow and you chuckled lightly.

"I have no idea what she's talking about." You said, careful not to lean too much into your side. You would bring attention to the small pack of candy in your pocket.

" _Okay_ ," Tony said slowly, Pepper letting out a soft laugh. You know he didn't believe you, and you couldn't stop yourself from laughing. Morgan probably spilled the beans, but that was okay.

"There's some pork in the fridge if you're hungry, Y/N." Pepper tells you. "Some chocolate pudding too. It was a little tricky saving you a serving." She lightly kicked a foot into Tony's thigh and he just shrugged like she wasn't just talking about him.

"I'll probably warm it up later, so don't be too alarmed if you hear me putting around. I'm not too hungry now, but I might be when I finish a couple of chapters. I'm planning to be done with my book tonight." You said, checking the time on the clock on the wall.

"If you like _Bridge to Terabithia,_ I think I might have an idea of what you might like to read next." Pepper told you with a small smile and you stood up.

"I'm gonna go head upstairs," you dipped your head down and placed a quick kiss on Pepper's cheek, patting Tony's shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Don't blare the silent music too loud, us oldies have to be to bed before ten or else we get cranky." You shook your head at the smirk on Tony's face before smiling at the two of them one last time as you started up the stairs.

You entered the hallway, passing two doors—the bathroom and Morgan's room—until you got to your room. Tony's and Pepper's was down the opposite hall. You switched on the bedroom light, but only for a minute. You shedded your hoodie and hung it up in your closet while you took the candy out of your pocket and placed it down on your desk. You took a quick glance around. Your bedroom at the Starks was the complete opposite of the bedroom you spent the night in with Natasha your first day back to Earth all those years ago.

Your closet was full with a taste of clothes you had slowly developed over the years, your bed was full of pillows and the occasional stuffed animal. Fairy lights and posters lined your walls, and a comfy chair was set up in the corner with an overhead lamp so you could read next to the bookshelf and hardly have to get up for the next book. Other small things made the room yours. You lived here. You have for years. You couldn't thank Tony and Pepper any more than you already have, but you continue to every once in a while, expressing your gratitude in as many ways as you could.

As you turned to head back out, you caught your eyes in the body mirror on the wall. Something about seeing your reflection made you stop and examine yourself.

You looked exactly the same as when the Avengers lost the battle five years ago. Five years, and you still hadn't aged a day. You touched a couple of fingers to your cheek, like the reflection was just a mirage and you would feel your face to be different than what you saw; aged — an adults face — but it wasn't.

You had stayed conflicted on and off for those years. You hated that because there was no real way to destroy the Stones, even if you could somehow find Thanos again to do so, you couldn't really live. You hated that even though you had failed, the Celestials refused to rebuke your powers. To make you mortal.

It wasn't like you didn't like the life you were gifted on Earth — that was an understatement — but you knew that all good things came to an end sooner or later.

Sooner or later, you would outlive everyone you loved and be alone again.

You turned around sharply, ignoring your reflection as you shut off your light and you grabbed the small bag of Sour Patch Kids from your desk and walked out of your bedroom. Quietly, you walked down the hall and creaked open Morgan's door. You weren't going to start this again tonight.

"Psst," you whispered, stepping a foot into the young girls room. You waited a moment before continuing, seeing the girls back rise and fall as she took breaths, and you thought Morgan might have been sleeping. You would expect it, she should be tired. "It's me. Are you awake?" Once you asked, you saw as she sat up as quick as a bullet, a smile widening on her face. She probably waited to make sure it was you before she gave herself away. You smiled, stepping fully into her bedroom and closing the door behind you, turning on the lamp next to her bed and sitting down next to her.

"Did you bring it?" She asked enthusiastically, her voice an excited whisper.

You showed her the small plastic baggie of the candy you had taken from Natasha and she suppressed a giggle as you held your fingers to your lips. "Shh, we have to be quiet." You tell her. "And you have to go back to sleep after this, promise?"

"Promise." Morgan agreed, holding out her hands as you opened the bag and dropped a couple of pieces into her hands. You watched, a warm feeling running through your body as she ate a piece, her face contorting from the sour and sweet flavor. "How was Auntie Nat?" She asked you after a minute, and you leaned back on her bed, the frame creaking a little with your weight.

"She's doing great. She asked about you, you know."

"I wanna go with you guys," a small pout appeared on her face but it disappeared as she popped another piece into her mouth.

"I'll talk with Mom and Dad about bringing you next time, how about that?" You offered and Morgan seemed pleased.

You made sure to cut off the child's candy intake after she had consumed almost ten pieces, considering how late it was getting, and you wanted her to go back to sleep and not bounce off the walls. She let out a soft yawn which in return you yawned too, and you whispered for her to lie back down. You pushed her hair away from her face again as she laid down on her pillow and you tucked her in.

"Go to sleep," you whispered a final time, booping her nose as she giggled again. You began to stand up but stopped when you heard Morgan's small voice pipe up.

"Wait," your turned your head to look at her. "Sleep in here with me?" You narrowed your eyes. "Please?"

You let out a soft sigh before turning off the lamp and sitting back down. You never objected to sharing a bed with anyone. Even though it was embarrassing, you would admit to crawling in with Tony and Pepper on more than one occasion. You always felt better knowing someone was with you at all times, but over time it had gotten better to sleep alone.

You heard Morgan's excited noises as she began to shimmy closer to the wall for you to fit, and you swung your legs up onto the bed, laying on your side next to the small girl. You wrapped your arm around her and pulled her into you as the both of you got comfortable.

"Close your eyes, and go to sleep. Good night Morgan."

"Good night Y/N." She hummed, drowsiness already filling her voice, and she let her body curve into yours. You smiled to yourself at the contact, and in response, held her tighter.

You were _home_ and you were loved. Safe and comforted. Most nights, you pushed away the one thing could ever make it better, because you had it good here with the Starks. You were more lucky than you should have been and you enjoyed the new life you had started on Earth; the people you met and formed close bonds with. There wasn't a point on dwelling on the past because there was no way to change it.

You never allowed yourself to think about how you would feel if there ever was.  
  


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A/N: Hey there everyone! I usually refrain from notes on this series, but I have something to talk about. I haven't been in school long, but my teachers are already killing me! I have less and less time to write now, and I wanted to give a warning so no one would be alarmed for when I slow down the update schedule. Chapters will still go up Fridays around 1 (give or take an hour or so, who knows?), but they probably won't be as frequent; maybe every other week. I'm just guesstimating here, so it could be different. I'm also involuntarily babysitting my niece and nephew, so with that on top of school, most of the time to I have to myself is when I sleep. I hope everyone is staying safe and enjoying themselves as much as they can!  
P.S. Has anyone watched The Devil All The Time Yet??


	12. eleven

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 _I'd do anything_  
 _Just to hold you in my arms_  
 _To try to make you laugh_  
 _Somehow I can't put you in the past_  
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Sometimes it was too serene. It brought back memories that were bittersweet.

You didn't hate it, living with Tony, Pepper and Morgan. You could never hate it. But on days like this, when Tony and Morgan were playing together and you didn't want to impose, or when Pepper and Morgan leave the house to go shopping or to a class, and Tony is messing around in his workshop, you were left alone. You always knew it wouldn't ever be for long, but still, even five years later, you hated being alone. You hated the silence.

You would always leave the house to go outside, no matter the weather, because it gets too quiet inside. Outside, you could hear the wind rustling through the trees, the birds chirping or crowing in the air, the crickets buzzing or the soft thumping of rabbit hops over freshly fallen snow, or if you decide to take the small path through the woods, the soft lapping of water hitting the shore in the distance. But all of those noises...it still didn't make up for the fact that you would still spend the time by yourself.

Every time you were, your mind would always drift back to the past. You would always wonder about whether you were supposed to spend your life on Earth, or whether you truly belonged back in space, under the command of the Celestial Entities.

But then you would remember _why_ you were stuck on Earth. You had lost your wings; you had failed your mission. It was less of a choice for you to stay and more of a punishment. A constant reminder that you brought disgrace to the Harbingers of the Infinity Stones. That because of you, the race had gone extinct—except for you—you gave no reason for the Celestials to create more of your kind because they would have nothing to protect. The Infinity Stones couldn't be harnessed anymore, they barely existed anymore.

You held your arms to your chest as you stood on the edge of the pier, overlooking the calm lake. It was a beautiful day, there was no doubt about it. The sun was shining brightly, what clouds there were in the sky were fluffy and white. The breeze carried the smell of trees through the air. For any other person, the location might have been calming. But after too long, it just made you uneasy. Maybe if someone was with you...

"I thought I saw you out here," You turned your head at the sound of Pepper's voice. She had a small smile on her face while Morgan was a little ways behind her, picking dandelions and watching as they flew away in the air. "We were driving by on our way back and Morgan saw you."

"Did you guys have a good time?" You asked, already feeling a little better, and you stepped closer so you could touch Pepper if you held out your hand.

"I need a nap," Pepper laughed, stepping closer as well and glancing behind to spot Morgan running around and giggling as she chased the dandelion seeds through the air before picking up a different one and doing the same thing. "Mrs. Fran was teaching jazz dance today, and Morgan didn't want to take a break. She didn't even break a sweat while me on the other hand was soaking like it just down poured."

"Oh wow." You let out a light chuckle, and before you knew it, Pepper was leading you off of the dock. Morgan ran up to you and took your hand as the three of you started the short trek back to the lakeside cabin you called home.

"Do you know what Tony's doing?" Pepper asked you as the the three of you stepped inside the house.

"Tony is cooking lunch." The man answered his wife's question, stepping out of the kitchen and leaning against the doorway with a towel across his shoulder. "How was dance?"

Pepper let out a soft groan while Morgan exclaimed, "Fun!"

"She still has so much energy..." Pepper whispered, referring to the girl who was still bouncing around the house and Tony chuckled.

"Morgan, honey?" Tony got her attention. "How about you go play outside for a little bit?"

"Okay," She chirped before running out of the house again. You watched through the windows as she ran past the planters in Pepper's small garden and to her small blue, white and pink flowered tent.

You leaned against the kitchen counter after you had gravitated inside, inspecting the ingredients Tony had out—a plethora of cheeses, empty noodle boxes, milk, flour and butter among other small ingredients—as he placed a quick kiss on Pepper's cheek behind you. "What are you making?" You asked after he had walked back behind the counter, and Pepper had began to take plates out of the cabinet to set the table.

"Good old mac' and cheese," he replied, gesturing to the pot of noodles on the stovetop burner that you hadn't seen, but now that he brought it to your attention, you smelt. Movement out of the corner of your eye brought your attention back to the windows, where you saw Morgan run through the yard and towards the garage. Your eyebrows furrowed down from confusion, but it didn't last long when you saw her run back out less then a minute later wearing a blue helmet you had only previously seen in plans.

"Sounds yum." You had finally said, hearing Pepper's hum of agreement.

"Those should be done. Drain the water for me Y/N?" You nodded your head, seeing the strainer already in the sink, and with two potholders, grabbing the pot of water and glancing over to see Tony stir a separate pot that was on low heat on the back burner, a cheese sauce that he already had ready.

You carried the pot to the sink and drained the noodles as the three of you began to work together, Pepper cleaning up what little mess there was on the kitchen counters, Tony preparing for you with a large blue bowl to mix the two components, and you traversing the space to bring him the metal strainer with the drained and steaming elbow noodles.

You watched as he folded the sauce in with the noodles, spreading it so everything was evenly coated. "You two finish up and I'll go get Morgan?" Tony offered, although he had done everything else, the last thing needing preparation was the bowl to be brought to the dining table.

You made sure there was enough silverware at the table as you heard Tony clap outside to get his daughter's attention. You had smiled at the comfort, the smell, and was about to say something when your ears perked up at the sound of an arriving car, the tires crunching on the ground.

Pepper hadn't heard it, but she stared questioningly at your confused look. You inched toward the door, opening it. First, you saw Tony coming back towards the house with Morgan in his arms, but then he looked to his right. You followed his gaze and you saw the black car, and to your surprise, Steve step out of the drivers seat. Next you saw Natasha come out of the passenger side, and then a man you had never seen before out of the back.

Tony continued up the stairs after sighing, stopping for a moment to stare back at them and nod a small greeting to Natasha before he placed Morgan down at the door and tucking the blue helmet under a small end table in a feeble attempt to hide it from Pepper. "Go eat, I'll be there in a minute." He said softly, and you ushered her inside. Pepper had noticed what and who had just pulled up, and her lips pressed into a thin concerned line before she put a soft hand on Morgan's shoulder and steered her daughter to the dinner table.

You stayed by the door, this time stepping onto the porch and closing it behind you as Tony said a soft "pull up a chair" and waved Steve, Nat, and the man to follow him.

You weren't sure why they were here, no one did, but you could tell by the serious looks their faces that it was either something important or bad news. Most likely, it went hand in hand. You weren't sure if you were prepared to hear what they had to say, but you wanted to stay. However, you kept your distance.

"Promise to hear us out?" Natasha was the first to speak, and Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Well, that's one way to start a conversation." Tony breathed out, sitting down inone of the wicker chairs on the porch.

"Tony," Steve started, his voice low and serious. "We think we found a way to fix the Snap...a way to get everyone back."

Those words knocked the breath out of your lungs and you froze. Your eyes quickly found Tony, and saw that he had done the same, his eyes had widened a fraction—a percentage compared to yours—as Steve just jumped straight into the topic they came here to discuss. You could tell how impatient he was to speak about it.

Your eyes flitted down to the man you didn't know, he was sitting down as well as Natasha and Steve stayed standing, and he was bouncing his knee rapidly as he seemed to be thinking, a hand covering his mouth.

"What?"

Your breaths were short and shallow as you listened to Scott—that was his name—Steve, and Natasha explain their theory of harnessing time travel through the Quantum Realm. Scott had explained what that was as well; a dimension where time and space were irrelevant and could be—theoretically—manipulated.

Emotions flooded you as they explained their plan: go back in time and get the Infinity Stones before Thanos could. Bring them back to the present, and then undo what had been done five years ago, bring back everyone and everything that had disappeared. Confusion and fear...hopefulness.

Hope.

What if they could do what Scott was proposing? What if they could pull this off? What if you could see Peter again?

Your nerves were on edge and your heart was pounding in your chest. You were even slightly bouncing to try and channel some of that nervous energy into something as you watched Tony stand up and sigh after listening to the plan. He stepped into the house for a moment, coming out with a pitcher of the nutrition shake that he made sure was always stocked in the fridge and four cups on a tray.

"Want a cup?" He offered, his voice soft, and Steve and Scott gave small nods. He began to pour and Tony exchanged an uneasy glance with you.

"No—tru—we know what it sounds like," Scott was standing now as he stammered over his words, adding a dry chuckle at the end.

"Tony, after everything you've seen, is anything really impossible?" Steve queried.

"Quantum fluctuation messes with the Planck scale, which then triggers the Deutsch Proposition. Can we agree on that?"

Steve spoke quietly as Tony handed him a cup. "Thank you."

"In layman's terms, it means you're not coming home." Tony ended his short speech.

"I did," Scott countered.

"No. You accidentally survived." Tony sighed. "It's a _billion-_ to-one cosmic fluke. And now you wanna pull a...what do you call it?"

"A...a time heist?" Scott shrugged as he accepted the cup from Tony.

"Yeah, a time heist. Of course." He turned his head to look at Steve and glance in yours and Natasha's direction. "Why didn't we think of this before? Oh, because it's laughable. Because it's a pipe dream."

"The Stones are in the past. We can go back, we can get them."

"We can snap our own fingers. We can bring everybody back." Natasha added.

"Or screw it up worse than he already has, right?"

You couldn't settle on a single thought during this conversation. You were arguing with yourself, your brain playing was playing both sides. Half of you wanted to believe that this could work. That there was a chance that they could undo what Thanos had done, that with another snap, everyone who had disappeared would be back...just like that.

But the other half was seeing it from Tony's point of view. Messing with time was consequential. It wasn't a toy to be played with. There are rules. The slightest mistake could spawn multiple different timelines. Removing the Stones from their place in the past, _this_ timeline could change the future. Who knows for the better or for the worse, but...was it really worth it to take that chance?

But that part of you, that part of you that influenced you to pick a side, was the part of you that wanted to prove your worth. That wanted to believe that this was another chance for you to complete your mission, to not let down your masters. You wanted to apologize to Peter...see him again.

"I don't believe we would." Steve stated firmly.

"Gotta say it, sometimes I miss that giddy optimism. However, high hopes won't help if there's no logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said time heist." Tony spoke, sitting back down. "I believe the most likely outcome will be our collective demise."

"Not if we _strictly_ follow the rules of time travel." Scott began. "All right? It means: no talking to our past selves, no betting on sporting events..."

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Scott," Tony held out his hand before leaning forward. Steve and Natasha shifted in their stances. "Are you seriously telling me that your plan to save the universe is based on Back to the Future?" Scott let out a short dry chuckle. "Is it?"

"No."

"Good. You had me worried there. 'Cause that would be horseshit." He shook his head you saw Natasha stare down as you bit your cheek, wondering how much longer this conversation was going to last and what the end result would be. "That's not how quantum physics _works_."

"Tony." Natasha spoke. "We have to take a stand."

"We did stand. And yet, here we are." He answered her, looking up and maintaining eye contact.

"I know you got a lot on the line. You got a wife, a daughter...but I lost someone very important to me. A lotta people did. And now, _now_ we have the chance to bring her back—to bring _everyone_ back." You didn't know Scott, you hadn't even introduced yourself yet, but you could feel that you would like him if the circumstances were different. "And you're telling me that you won't even—"

"That's right Scott. I won't even." Tony's voice dropped to a whisper, one that made tears prick at the corners of your eyes. "I can't."

You heard the door next to you open and close; Pepper's hand appeared on your shoulder, and Morgan come out and head straight for her dad. "Mommy told me to come and save you." She said shyly, resting her head on Tony's shoulders as he picked her up.

"Good job. I'm saved." He took a breath, holding Morgan tightly as he directed the conversation back to Steve, Natasha and Scott. "I wish you were coming here to ask me something else. Anything else." He said as he stood. "I'm honestly happy to see you guys, I just— oh look, the table's set for seven."

"Tony," Steve put a hand on his elbow. "I get it. And I'm happy for you. I really am...but this is a second chance."

"I got my second chance right here, Cap." Tony said with sadness slowly making itself known in his voice. "Can't roll the dice on it." He paused for a moment before turning to look at everyone. "If you don't talk shop, you can stay for lunch."

With that being said, Tony glanced at you and your indiscernible expression before letting out a soft sigh and him and Pepper turned back into the house, Morgan still in his arms.

A time machine. That's what they came to ask Tony to do. To build a time machine, to help them go back into the past and get the Infinity Stones...they came up with a solution and they wanted to fix what went wrong, they wanted to seize the chance to fix what they had let happen by failing to save the world.

You grabbed Natasha's hand as she walked back, her and Steve and Scott turning to leave. She gave you a weak smile and gave your hand a soft squeeze before letting it slip out as she walked away. You gulped, watching for another couple of seconds, not staying to listen to their conversation, before you turned around and went back inside.  
  


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The meal was silent, spare the innocent ramblings Morgan occasionally went on. The weight of the reason why Natasha, Scott, and Steve were just here rested heavy on your shoulders, and with one look, you could see it was crushing Tony. Pepper knew too. He was unfocused, barely picking at his food as his eyes made sure they left no inch of the room unseen.

It was like that for the rest of the day as well. No one dared say a word on the topic, knowing that the best idea was just to let Tony mull it over. You took it upon yourself to distract Morgan, taking her up to her room and playing with her while you left Pepper and Tony alone to talk. You could only imagine how that conversation would ensue. You knew Pepper would be all over the statistics, make the logical decision. Then she would ask Tony what _he_ wanted to do, what it would take, what it would _cost_.

Dinner was somewhat better. Tony had cooked again although it was Pepper's night. The alterations had begun years ago. But that was okay, because he needed a distraction from the distraction. That's why he also volunteered for the dishes when it was your turn. While Pepper had brought a yawning Morgan up the stairs to get ready for bath and bed, you quietly walked to the kitchen, watching Tony as a frown appeared on your face.

He was rinsing a dish when he suddenly lost control of the hose, doing his best to stop the water with the plate before he remembered to just take the pressure off the nozzle and dropped the hose to the sink. He turned his head just out of habit to see if anyone was still there, and he paused for just a split second when he saw you standing in the doorway before he turned back and picked up a rag to dry the plate in his hands.

He said nothing as he wiped the water that had gotten on the shelf next to him, and you took a curious step forward when he paused again. This time, noticeably, staring at an item on the shelf. He hesitated before reaching for it, and you saw that he had picked up a picture frame. It puzzled you for a second, why he had chosen that one specifically, wiping the glass and staring at it, until the reason made your gut drop. You knew it was a picture of him and Peter, one the two of them had taken to help Peter's cover of having an internship at Stark Industries, Tony had told you when you had the courage to ask one day.

Over time, you had heard all of the stories Tony had to tell about Peter. There weren't many, and you could see the guilt in his eyes as he told them, telling you how he wished he could've spent more time with him...about the plans he had. Making Spider-Man a member of the Avengers, giving Peter an actual internship at SI—most likely in the chemistry lab shadowing only his top engineers. The two of you mourned together. Pepper had never met him, but even she could tell how much both you and Tony had cared about him, hearing both the stories he had to tell, and the ones you did as well.

What was the saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Even though you didn't personally know Peter that long, it was enough time for you to form an attachment with him that was different from Natasha's or Tony's or Morgan's. You knew you loved all of them, but after hearing the stories, thinking about him everyday, it felt like you've known him for years. Your love for Peter was different. It had been brewing for five years. Maybe it was justified, maybe you were only feeling like this because he had been the first person to treat you as an equal, to show you just what it meant to be human.

You blinked away the memories and walked over to Tony, putting your hands on top of his and slowly taking the photo. You knew he blamed himself—you all blamed yourselves—but Tony carried as much, if not more guilt then even you held.

"I know it's a lot to ask," you began softly, letting your eyes sweep over the photo, lingering on Peter's face for longer than you should have because all it did was fill you with a pang of sadness.

"If you're trying to convince me, there's no use." Tony butted in before you could speak again and you looked up and met his eyes. "I've already made up my mind. At least...I think I did."

"And what's that?"

He glanced at the picture again. "It wouldn't hurt to try, right? To _try_ to figure out time travel. And then I'll feel better when I find out that it can't be done. Because if it can, and I know there's something we can do..." Tony shook his head and let out a loud sigh, taking the frame from you and putting it back on the shelf. "Right?" He asked you, awaiting your answer.

"But what if..." you stared out of the window at the darkening skies, biting your lip nervously.

"I don't know." You felt your gaze soften as you saw right through Tony's lie. You saw it in his face, the way he brought his hand to his mouth, the true meaning behind his words; the unspoken sentence. _"I would bring him back."_

He was scared. You understood that. He doesn't want to lose the life he built for himself in the last five years. Morgan had only just turned four a couple of months ago, him and Pepper had finally gotten married—an event you had a front row seat to. They lived in a peaceful place away from the city, away from the world. He had finally retired as Iron Man, saving the world was a thing of the past. He was a parent, who loved his family.

But he was also a man who would do anything for the people he loves.

You placed your hand on his shoulder to get his attention again, and when his eyes were back on you, you spoke. "Don't stay up to late, okay?" You told him, your voice low and full of emotion. He gave you a small nod, knowing you knew what he was going to do. You were going to walk away, but not without stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. Tony let out a small noise before he hugged you back, kissing the side of your head.

"You get some sleep too." He told you. "Don't worry about me." You let out a soft chuckle at the words as you pulled back, a small smile tugging on the corners of your lips. "Go. Don't you have a kid to sneak candy too?"

You made no attempts to argue or ask how he found out. You figured in the end you weren't that subtle. You walked out of the kitchen and through the living room to get to the stairs. Pepper was just leaving Morgan's room as you passed by, closing the door quietly.

"Is she sleeping?" You asked, your voice a whisper.

"Just about." Pepper told you. "Going to bed, honey?"

"Gonna try to." You answered truthfully. Sleeping has become a regular thing you had done after you had spent a year on Earth. You refused to before those twelve months were up because they were always nightmares. But those happened less often now. But the ones that did...they still left you crying and shaking when you woke up, no matter how long it's been. And they were always the about the same things, the same events.

But tonight, you thought your brain might too active with running thoughts for you to be able to calm down enough to get to sleep. You said a quick good night to Pepper before you sat down on your bed, letting out a long controlled breath.

There was a chance you might be involved in one last mission, the most important one of your existence, and you promised yourself that you would give your life if that meant everyone else would survive before you failed again.


	13. twelve

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_I_ _f I never knew you_

_If I never felt this love_

_I would have no inkling of_

_How precious life can be_

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A light pushing on your shoulder had your eyes flickering open.

"Hm?" You groaned, rolling over to your back.

"Hey kid," you heard Tony whisper. "Wake up."

Before you even opened your eyes, you felt your face display the confusion you felt. From what you could tell, the sun had barely started to come up by the way your room only had the slightest orange glow mixing with the darkness.

Tony wouldn't wake you up this early. Morgan, yes. But not Tony. Unless it was important. Or an emergency.

"What's going on?" You asked, sitting up and turning to face Tony. He hadn't looked like he even slept; the purple bags under his eyes looked black in the lack of light. He also looked serious and worried. Anxious, to top it all off. "Is something wrong?"

"Technically: no." You waited for him to elaborate, but he seemed intent on waiting. "Can you get dressed and meet me downstairs?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Tony briefly smiled and patted your leg before walking out of your room, closing the door behind him.

You pulled on a sweater over your tank top and slipped on a pair of flats just in case you had to go somewhere, although you were sure if Tony was bringing you out of the house, he would have told you.

You fixed your hair as you walked quietly down the stairs, light on your feet to not wake up Pepper and Morgan, who you assumed were still asleep.

Tony was pacing relentlessly in front of the couch, and you immediately became worried.

"Dad?" Your voice was soft, but it was enough to get his attention. He turned to you just as you saw a faint blue glow out of the corner of your eyes. Quickly glancing behind you, you saw the small holo-table active and a fully rendered model of Tony's latest project displayed. You squinted to try and get a better look from where you were on the stairs, and you realized it was nothing you've ever seen before. "What's that?"

"I did it."

Those three simply words held so much meaning. You weren't actually sure if you really heard them. For all you knew, you could still be dreaming. Your brain could just be making up the best case scenarios so you could find some solace in the newfound hope you had in case it went downhill.

You took a careful step towards Tony, making sure it really felt like walking and not that floating-on-clouds feeling you normal felt in dreams.

"That's— time travel?" You stammered to get out."

"Well, I still have to hammer out some kinks and try to figure out _how_ exactly all of this works — because it shouldn't — but yeah. Time travel."

"You...that's amazing!" Your hand flew to your mouth, but it did nothing to hide the grin on your face. At first, you didn't notice Tony's face fall. Didn't notice that he wasn't as excited as you were.

To you, this was huge news. That meant that not only were the Avengers getting back together, but there was a chance to get everyone back. A chance for _you_ to get a second chance. For you to get your wings back.

"What-what time is it? We need to call Steve and Nat! We are helping them, aren't we? You can't figure out the secret to time travel and _not_ help them!"

"Yeah, I know. But there's a more important question I need to ask you before I tell you anything." Tony stopped you, gently grabbing your shoulders, cutting off your focus and bringing your attention to him.

"What could be more important than knowing we can bring _everyone back_?" You chuckled, not prepared for what he was about to say.

"If we bring everyone back, are you going to stay?"

 _"What?"_ You wanted to say, but your mouth wouldn't form the word. Tony's eyes were frantically searching yours, waiting for your answer. He was trying to keep a face of indifference, but he was failing. You knew he would care if you left. You were family. Hell, for three years you've called him your father.

He seemed to sense the silent question, and he sighed, dropping his hands.

"I did some studying last night. Looking into your origins. And the Celestial Entities." You took a deep breath. "I've looked before, trying to find information, trying to find some way for you to go back home if you wanted to leave."

"Tony, I—"

"Last night, I found the myth I've been looking nearly five years for, from a Norse mythology professors blog. Seems like those guys believed in the Harbingers big time, they had the most information.

"The story said that Thanos wasn't the first to harness all six stones. To plunge a realm into near extinction. I think it said something about it being one of the nine realms — Alfheim I believe. One of the light elves that lived there had been tracking down the Infinity Stones, her intent being that she could bring more beauty to the land, create richer soil, you get the gist.

"And she did. But the Stones weren't ever meant to be used all together. No one was ever supposed to have that much power. The temptation grew too strong."

"The Stones took control." You said quietly, the memories of the story flooding back to your head. It wasn't just a myth, it was real. A story your commander told you as a warning.

"You're familiar?"

"Her name was Audhild. A light elf from Alfhiem. You were right." You began to take over, your eyes closing as you recalled the memories. "The generation of Harbingers before me took care of her. The Infinity Stones yearned to be used, and soon they invaded Audhild's mind, made her attached to the point where she used them for everything, never let them out of her sight let alone away from the staff in which she weilded them.

"The Harbingers were sent to Alfhiem to stop her before things got too out of hand, but they were too late. Many great warriors were lost in the mistake Audhild had made. In thinking Alfhiem was under attack, she tried to defend it. In the panic induced process, she destroyed herself and nearly all of Alfhiem.

"The Harbinger in the lead of the army lost his golden wings and got cast away, having failed in his mission to safely seize the Stones and scatter them across the realms without any casualties, Elves and Harbingers alike." You looked up at Tony, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "Yes. I know the story. It was told so I could know just what would happen if I ever failed a mission. A threat." One the Celestials followed through with.

"But were you ever told the _rest_ of the story?" Tony asked you, and you raised your head. Confused.

"There's more?"

"The Harbinger, the one who got cast away, he couldn't live with his failure and set the rest of his time devoted to finding a way to fix it. He earned the trust of the Elves since he was stuck in the realm. He helped them rebuild their homes, plant their crops, fish for food. He fought in their wars, and he learned enough magic to help bring back the beauty of the land." Tony began, and you stayed silent, listening to the half of the story you've never heard before.

"The Celestials recognized his efforts and granted him his wings and status back. Offered him a place back in the Harbinger ranks. But he refused, because he had made a home for himself on Alfhiem. Started a family." Tony was now gripping your hand.

"I...I didn't know that." You admitted quietly. "But that means..."

"It means when — if — _when_ we do this, you can go back." He gulped. "And I won't stop you if that's what you want, Y/N. It's all I want to know, if you would choose to leave."

You squeezed his hand back, suddenly shaking like you had just woken up from a nightmare.

It would make sense. It being a nightmare that you would leave.

"I'm not going anywhere." You tell Tony firmly. "I don't care if that second part is true or not. Even if I get my wings back, I would never give up what I found here for all the riches in the world. I fought with you, I failed with you, and I'm going to win with you. You gave me a home, a family, something I've never had before, and I love you all too much to ever let you go."

You wouldn't admit that you felt a little hurt that Tony would ever think you would leave after this was all over, but at the same time you understood his worry. Being a Harbinger was what you were destined to be since you were created. That voice in your head telling you your purpose had always spoke to you, even in your stasis. You were create for a purpose: to serve.

"I promise." Your voice dropped to a shaky whisper.

Tony nodded his head once, then again, before he used his other hand to pat where your others were intertwined. "Okay. Cool." He said as nonchalantly as he could. "So uh, there's a lot of ground to cover, so if you could take a seat we can get to this."

"We're really doing this?" You asked, all traces of sleep completely gone at this point.

"Under conditions," Tony paused. "But we're doing this. If we can get them back..."

The sentence didn't need to be finished. You understood immediately the fears and consequences, but also the feeling of having the materials and ability to do something but not doing it. It was the worst feeling in the world.

You knew you would do something if you could. And now you can. Now Tony can.

And you will.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little on the shorter side, but I thought this was a nice place to end it :)


	14. thirteen

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_I've_ _got a theory:_ _it_ _doesn't matter_  
_What can't we do if we're together?_  
_What's in this place that we can't weather?_  
_Apocolypse? We've all been there_  
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"—but the most important thing is that we don't erase _anything_ that happened these last five years."

You nodded your head as Tony was finishing up. You sat quietly and listened as he explained to you how — theoretically — time travel worked. He still couldn't believe it actually worked, or that the science actually existed. It was less out of disbelief and more out of fear, but you completely understood. There was a lot to lose. So much at stake.

"I mean _anything._ We're gonna need a lot of manpower, and an actual plan. No diving in headfirst and winging it once we're there."

"Well, we have you and me." You started, counting off the people in your head. "Steve and Natasha and Scott. I'm sure if we contact Nebula, Rocket, and Carol, they would help. That saying that Natasha or Steve didn't already. That brings out total up to — what? — eight?"

"I don't think that would be enough." Tony said softly.

"Okay, so Rhodey might be a little harder to convince, but I'm sure we can get him there." You continued, trying your hardest to stay optimistic. "What about Thor and Bruce?"

"I'm sure Cap and Widow went to Bruce after they tried me. He's probably on our side." Then he sighed. "But Thor has been AWOL since 2017. Shut himself up somewhere in Norway. I don't think he's talked to anyone."

"Okay. So then I guess someone'll have to make a trip to Norway, yeah?"

"You seem way too excited to do this if your goal isn't to go back to the dimension between space and time or wherever you came from." Tony commented and you pursed your lips.

"I honestly couldn't care less if I got my wings back. I already told you. I'm not going back. I'm doing this because it's the right thing. Not out of vain. We owe it to the people we couldn't save to bring them back." Then your voice dropped to a whisper and you stared down at your hands. " _I_ owe it to the people I couldn't save."

"Hey," Tony stood up and moved to sit next to you. "We already talked about this before. This wasn't ever on you. None of it was."

You knew it was pointless to argue even though you still thought about it. You let your first two years on Earth be controlled by the what could have beens if you had been better, but after time you finally accepted that Tony was right. It was an impossible mission. There was no way you could have done it yourself. Even with a team of super-powered heroes, an entire army, Earth still lost.

No matter what, that thought, that guilt would always linger in the back of your head. Now it was front and center again. But this time, instead of holding you back, it was propelling you forward. You could lie and say that you were doing this for humanity, but the full truth was still there: you were also doing this was for you. So you could feel complete again. So that guilt would disappear. You knew Tony was operating nearly the same way. With the same incentive. Getting back the people you lost — he lost — would fix the holes they left. Maybe, just maybe, after that, the both of you could truly live.

"So what now?" You asked, raising your head. "Have you talked to Mom and Morgan?"

Tony sighed again, dragging his hands down his face. "Pep knows. I may not have said it, but she knows. She knows my head, my thoughts before I even think them." He nodded as if he were still trying to convince himself. You wouldn't doubt it. "I guess I'll have to make a few calls. How do you feel Happy would be up for a babysitting job?"

You snorted. "What?" Tony argued, a small smile now on his face. "How long d'you think he'll hate me?"

"Not for long," you glanced out of the window. The sun was now prominently in the sky, bright light shining through the curtain drawn windows. "When are we leaving?"

"When do you want too?" Tony asked.

"Not until I say goodbye to Pepper's cooking." You grinned. "I have a feeling we won't be eating much good food once we get to work."

"Shut up." Tony rolled his eyes. "But you're right. What do you think we can beg her to make? Belgium waffles? Omelettes?"

○○○○○○

Saying goodbye was a hard thing to do. You were crying just moments after breakfast, knowing that came next, even if you knew that you would be back. You hoped you would be back. 

Pepper was more understanding. Of course she was, she's an amazing woman. The both of you shed tears together, which ended with you apologizing for staining her blouse and a fit of laughter. 

Morgan was a different story. She didn't understand, and you weren't sure how much to say to not worry her too much. You felt bad refusing her request to tag along, and you could tell Tony did too. But even after she accepted that you and her father were going to go save the world, she still wouldn't let go. You memorized the feeling of her arms around you. That was the feeling you were going to be fighting for. One you couldn't lose. She only peeled off just to do the same to Tony; to cling with the intent of never letting go. 

It didn't matter how many promises you made saying that you and Tony would come back. You could mean them with all your heart, but in reality, you knew it was a random lottery. You kept the desire to believe that was true as your driving force. Morgan wanted her father and sister to come back. Pepper her husband and daughter. The rough plan seemed simple enough: go back and get the Stones, bring them to the present and use them, put them back. No one should even get hurt. But more than enough plans never go accordingly. You had to be prepared for anything. 

The Avengers Compound came into view soon enough. As well as a figure in the rapidly closing distance. Tony rounded the bend, and came to a near perfect stop in front of Steve. 

Tony glanced at you and you gave him an encouraging smile from the passenger side seat before he backed up, rolling down his window. 

"Why the long face?" Tony asked. "Let me guess; he turned into a baby." 

"Among other things, yeah." Steve sounded tired. "What are you doing here?"

"It's the EPR paradox." Tony began, opening the car door and stepping out. "Instead of pushing Lang through _time_ , you might've wound up pushing time through _Lang._ It's tricky, dangerous. Somebody could have cautioned you against it." 

"You did." 

"Oh, did I?" You bit back a smile. "Well, thank God I'm here." You were as quiet as you could be getting out as you could. "Regardless," Tony held up his fist. "I fixed it."

You could see the confusion begging to show itself on Steve's face, him sending you a quick glance trying to find something. 

"A fully functioning time-space GPS." His confusion cleared up, and Steve smiled. "I just want peace. Turns out resentment is corrosive, and I hate it."

"Me too."

"We got a shot at getting these stones, but I gotta tell you my priorities. Bring back what we lost, I hope, yes. Keep what I found? I have to, at all costs. And... maybe not die trying. Would be nice." 

"Sounds like a deal." Steve held out his hand, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding in when Tony shook it. 

That handshake meant more than just a peace treaty. It was an alliance. An apology. Well, the closest you were going to see come from Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. 

Tony walked to the back of the car, you and Steve following on your respective sides. 

"Y/N," he nodded as Tony opened the trunk. 

"Hey Steve." You greeted. 

Lifting up something from the floor, you quickly realized Tony had Steve's shield packed away in there. You gasped, not having actually seen Steve use it. But you've heard stories, seen footage. 

Steve sighed. "Tony, I don't know."

"Why?" Tony asked. "He made it for you. Plus, honestly, I have to get it out of the garage before Morgan takes it sledding." He passed it to Steve, who slipped it onto his arm. 

"Thank you Tony." Steve said gratefully. 

"Will you keep that a little quiet? Didn't bring one for the whole team." He reached over and closed the trunk, picking up a bag, as you gravitated to Tony's side. "We _are_ getting the whole team, yeah?"

"We're working on that right now." 

Tony just nodded, glancing behind him to make sure you were still there, before the two of you followed Steve inside. 

He led you to a room where you could see tech was set up. A control panel, power source, and a rusty van with it's back doors open. 

Your eyes found Natasha first. Her hair being red again made her pop out against the greys and blues of the compound. She heard the footsteps and after confusion flashing through her eyes as she saw you and Tony, her gaze fell onto you and she smiled. You smiled back, but your lips faltered, having seen the sadness in her eyes.

Scott was sitting down next to her,, in what looked like a clunky grey and red suit holding a helmet and a suspicious wet spot on his lap. You just gave an awkward wave. You stopped walking however when you saw Bruce. The Hulk? No. That was Bruce. But he was in the Hulk's body?

"Hey Banner," Tony was the first to acknowledge him, his voice a little hesitant. "You're looking a little green..." he gestured to his face before holding his hand out and just circling his whole body. "Uh, everywhere." 

"What do you think?" Bruce chuckled, holding out his arms. "I found a way for us to work together."

"What do you guys think of this?" Tony glanced at Steve and Nat with his eyebrows raised. They just shrugged, otherwise indifferent. "Okay. So this is cool then. Got it." 

"Y/N!" Bruce then exclaimed. "How have you been?" 

You laughed, still trying to wrap your mind around what you were seeing. "Better than before." 

"Good. Good." He nodded. "So why are you guys here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Tony looked around. "You need our help."

"Tony solved the problems we've been having. He has a way to travel without any problems." Steve looked over. "Right?"

"Well, it hasn't actually been tested, but my math's never wrong, so...yeah." 

"Wait, are you serious?" Bruce stepped away from the control panel. Natasha taking careful steps forward as well, tilting her head in interest. Scott stood up and joined the party. The group of you now converging into a loose circle. 

Tony held up his fist again, but this time he tapped the part on the back of his hand, projecting a small hologram. "Assuming it works, just put in the coordinates and it should take us there. We'll need _Pym_ Particles of course." Tony rolled his eyes. "Traveling through the Quantum Realm would be our best course of action." 

"We? Our?" 

"Did I stutter? Yes. Now, where is the plan on getting everybody at?"

There was a couple of seconds where the room was immersed in silence. This was really happening. There was no turning back at this point. 

Natasha was the one to break it. "Nebula and Rocket are on their way already. Should be here in a couple of minutes. Rhodey's on his way too. I guess I'll call him and tell him to reroute." Natasha broke off and headed into another room.

"What for?"

"Well, he was going to try and convince you to help us." Steve smiled wryly. "Said that he had tactics none of us even knew about."

"Yeah, well, you spend four years in a dorm with someone, you'll pick up how to get them to do things." Tony sighed. "Anyway, doesn't matter I'm here now." 

"Any word from Thor or Carol?" You asked, glancing over to where Natasha was on the phone behind the glass.

"Carol's dealing with something off world, but she said she'll be here once she's finished. And Thor...well, me and Rocket are going to try and get him to hear us out." Bruce itched the back of his neck. 

"Sounds good. We're good then?" Tony asked, turning to look at everyone in the room. "Well then, we have a time machine to build." 

There was a dramatic pause before Scott stammered. "Uh, I'm just gonna — I'm gonna go get changed." 

You shook your head and smiled as chuckles rumbled through the team. You felt a hand on your shoulder, and looked over at Tony. You waited, the man looking like he had wanted to say something, but he decided against it. You just rested your hand on his before it slipped off and his pulled away. 

Looking back at Natasha, you could see she was off the phone but she was holding her face in her hands, taking deep breaths like she was trying to calm herself down. Worrying, you headed in her direction. 

The glass door stuck a little as you opened it, and Natasha turned to look at you as you closed it behind you. 

"Hey," you said softly. 

"Hey," she replied. 

"What's going on?" You asked her, and she glanced quickly at the wall. You smiled tightly before stepping forward. "Nat, what happened?"

"Me and Rhodey were still trying to get a hit on Clint." She said thickly, gulping and looking down. "He tracked down where he is. Or, where he's heading, is more like it." 

You froze for a moment. No one had mentioned Clint out there. You hadn't even thought of him. It seemed so improbable to pin down the ghost he became. More improbable than time travel, it had seemed, after five years of no contact. 

"Do you want me to come with you?" You asked quietly, already knowing that was going to be Natasha's plan. It had to be. 

She looked up at you and she gave you a small nod, a grateful smile tugging on the corners of her lips. 

"I heard Tokyo's nice this time of year."

○○○○○○

You couldn't believe what you were seeing. 

You and Natasha were sitting in a deserted car. The entire street was cleared, and you understood why: they were scared. 

There was a figure dressed in all black, fighting through a swarm of people ruthlessly. He left no one alive, taking care of them quickly and painlessly, moving with an air of death surrounding him. 

Natasha kept her head held up high, but you could tell if she let her mask crack just a fraction, she would break. But you knew it wouldn't. Because she was the master at hiding her secrets when she needed to be. 

You jumped when gunfire filled the air over the rain, but Natasha sat unflinching. It ended just as abruptly as it came, and a second later, a man jumped through a window, followed closely by the man you were there for. 

They both drew katanas, and the fight that ensued was one you hadn't seen before. A dance of stop and go. Split second moves and clashing of metal next to pauses of thought. 

But it didn't last long. The man he was after was no match for him. Soon he fell to his knees, hand clutched at his throat. You looked down at the dashboard of the car, unable to watch. Natasha stepped out of the car and opened her umbrella. You could feel her eyes glance at you for a moment, then she closed the door. You had done your job. You were there for her. Now it was her turn. 

The muffled sound of a body hitting the ground made you look back up. Natasha walked forward, and you saw Clint tilt his head ever so slightly. You couldn't sit in the silence. You got out of the car, but stayed by it. 

"You shouldn't be here." His voice was low. 

"Neither should you." Natasha replied. 

Your breath hitched as he turned around. Now that you thought about it, this was the first time that you had seen Clint outside of pictures and videos, but you knew there was something wrong with his image. 

"I've got a job to do." 

"Is that what you're calling this? Killing all these people isn't gonna bring your family back." 

You bowed your head as Clint didn't reply. Natasha had told you who he lost. His wife. His children. You felt your guilt swell but you pushed it down. Now wasn't the time to grieve. 

"We found something." She began to walk forward. "A chance, maybe." Her voice cracked as she looked up to him.

"Don't." Clint shook his head, looking pleadingly at Natasha.

"Don't what?"

"Don't give me hope." 

"I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner." Her voice wavered, even over the sound of the rain you could hear it. 

She reached out her hand for him to take. When he did, closing his fingers around hers, you knew the hard part was over. It wouldn't take much to bring him back. 

Now it was only a matter of time before the next problem arose. But until then, you celebrated the fact that the team was back together again. You didn't know when then the next time you would be able to do so. The hardest part was yet to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it’s a day before, to the people who celebrate it, Happy Halloween! 🎃 👻 
> 
> I wrote a spooky season themed chapter in my other story, the Peter Parker Imagines Book, if you want to check it out!


	15. fourteen

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_Hell raising, hair raising_

_I'm ready for the worst_

_So frightening, face whitening_

_Fear that you can't reverse_

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○

This was real.

As more and more of the plan came to fruition, as the team assembled, the more you realized that this was really happening. That you had the people, the resources, and the hope to let yourself to believe that there really was a chance that you could bring everyone back.

It was a small chance. A sliver of a chance. One that created a fortified post in your heart, steady against all of doubt and fears you had. The hope, no matter how small it was, was powerful. Powerful enough to keep you pushing forward despite the obstacles. To keep Tony pushing forward--the team, even if the chances of success without any roadblocks were slim.

A funny thing, hope was. The lighthouse distant on a churning sea. A shining beacon in the darkness.

"What's up with Tony and the fact that he keeps seeming to adopt children that aren't his?" You lifted your head and straightened your back as you heard Clint announce himself as he invited himself into the room you were seated in. You hadn't heard him walk in at all. "I thought he knew I used to be the dad of the group. First that spider kid way back when, then I go off the grid for five years and he has a biological one of his own! Who would've thought? And now he also has a murderous alien and a space entity in the form of a teenager. At this rate, he'll have more kids than I did."

You watched with a frown as he pulled a crate forward and sat down across from you, a couple feet away. "More kids than you _do_." You say softly. "If this works, you'll see your family again," you reminded him. As if he needed any more reminding.

The man stayed silent, replying instead with a terse smile. He stared down at the sleeve of tattoos on his arm. You couldn't tell what was going on in his head, or what he was looking at exactly, but an instinctive feeling told you he had immortalized his wife and kids in a picture on his arm. A reminder of what he was fighting for.

"We haven't actually met yet, but I take it you know who I am?"

You nodded your head once. "Nat's told me a lot about you. I helped track you down with her and Rhodey."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "'Nat', huh? She must really like you then."

You smiled. "I think it was originally only because we were both survivors, but then...but then she became my sister. Helped me through things I don't think I would have been able to without her."

"She cares about you."

"As I care about her."

"Thank you for being there for her." Clint spoke in a quiet voice, and you could see in his eyes how he blamed himself for making himself disappear. For assuming a new identity and going on a rampage fueled by vengeance without even searching to see if the others were alive. And--you're assuming--when he did catch on that they were, for trying his hardest to stay out of their radar. So they wouldn't see the man he had become. You saw the burden he carried, how the guilt pressed down on his being, shrouding the man from the stories you heard all about.

You made another silent promise to yourself. Piling yet another on the list in your head. That you were going to try and bring back the Clint Barton that once was.

You used to have the fear that the bonds you were creating on Earth would become a problem when you completed your mission. But now, the problem arising was what would become of your status and condition after you and The Avengers restored all that was lost.

You were scared of going back to who you were brought into existence to be. Scared of becoming a Harbinger again. Scared of leaving. Scared of leaving your new home, your new family, your new life behind.

But that wasn't a problem you had time to risk spending on. It was one for another day. After the war was won.

_Whatever it takes_.

That's what everyone had been saying, anyway; sort of becoming a grim mantra. A reminder. It's what you repeated in your head day in and day out.

You were willing to give up everything you had so that the people you cared about could live, that you were sure of. You had made that decision long ago, before those five years had even passed. Not only for your family, for the Stark's and Natasha and Peter, but for all the husbands and wives and sons and daughters and everything in between that had all been snapped away before their time. For everyone on Earth and on every other planet in the galaxy that had experienced the loss.

Only for the benefit of life would you take your own. For friendships and family. For the little things like conversations and comfort and contact. For a hand held in your own. Seeing a smile light up someone's face because of you.

For rollercoasters. For sharing cotton candy on Coney Island.

For the air and the sea. The grass and the sky. The attractions and skyscrapers. The good, the bad, and the dirty. For love. Love for people. For the little joys only humanity seemed to bring and everyone overlooks and takes for granted.

You realized you had gotten lost in thought, but Clint had patiently waited for you. You smiled and nodded your head. "We were there for each other. I will forever be grateful for her. For everyone."

The both of you fell back into a silence, but not for long. Never for long, since everyone had been working around the clock building a time machine and slotting together pieces of the continually growing plan.

"Scott's gearing up for the trial run out there," Clint tells you and you let out a breath. "I'm nowhere near an expert on all this time travel shit, but even after all these tests, if this doesn't work...If he gets trapped in the Quantum Realm again, or even in the past, this whole plan gets shipped to Hell, doesn't it?"

"He won't." You stated firmly. You had too. Believing in your confidence was the only thing stopping you for overanalyzing the risks. Besides, everyone knew them. "Tony and Bruce figured it out. They ran the numbers over and over. They wouldn't let him get in that suit unless they knew it was going to work. There's too much on the line." Then you went quiet, the words you were going to say next dying on your tongue. But as if Clint could read your mind, he spoke them instead.

"Too much to lose." He whispered. "Family, sanity." Then he let out a dry chuckle. "I've already lost both."

"They're not lost." You tell him, leaning forward and hesitantly reaching out. "Not yet. You can still see them again. We can still get them back."

A hint of a smile ghosted Clint's face, and he stood up, you following suit. If Scott was gearing up for one of the final tests, you wanted to be there to see it.

As you drew nearer to the suit room right behind Clint, you could hear Scott raising his voice a little, panic making itself evident as he reminded Bruce and Rhodey about how they all only have one chance to pull this off. A couple more steps, and you heard a whoosh and a yelp as Scott shrunk down, followed immediately by him growing back to regular size. Clint stopped by the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"Alright. I'm not ready for this."

You heard a small gulp from the man on your left, but that was the only hesitation before Clint spoke. "I'm game."

Your eyes widened with surprise for only a moment, before they went back to normal as you could nearly see Clint's thought process churning in his head.

Here next to you stood a man who had abandoned all hope after the people he loved disappeared around him. Who spent years searching for some kind of reprieve from that loss. Then one day, hope presented itself to him again in the form of near impossible odds. He only let it back in because he was so deprived of it, so desperate, even if he knew that if he failed to cling on--if something stopped him from believing in that hope--then he would start right back at square one.

Clint knew there was only one test run. He knew that there were risks. But you could tell what was running through his mind as he accepted being the test subject. As he suited up right to when everyone surrounded him as he stood on the platform of the time machine.

If this was his last chance, his last hope, who were you to deprive him of seeing his family one last time?

Maybe Clint wasn't the most hopeful, but he thought himself as a dying man wanting to get one glimpse of heaven before he fell through the trapdoor that sent him down. There was the chance that he might be able to see his family again. Hear their voices. Give them one last hug before he had to leave again. Maybe forever.

But if he came back, which you and undoubtedly everybody else was counting on, then Clint would have more hope fueling him to fight. He would find what he had lost. He'd be one step away from Ronin, from the last five years. He would be one step closer to Clint Barton again.

And then it was on to the next phase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'm not dead, just unnaturally busy. I hate it. 
> 
> This is a very Clint-centric chapter, not to mention shorter than the others, but I felt like I needed to include it. I still have a shit ton of Endgame feels swarming around in my brain if that wasn't evident. Apologies to anyone who didn't enjoy! 
> 
> Okay, now it's back to regularly scheduled updates and me torturing myself and watching Endgame an inhuman amount for this fic :)

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this story came from a request I got for a Reader who was Peter’s girlfriend with powers connected to the Infinity Stones (there’s a little more to that, but I want to avoid spoilers ;) ) 
> 
> While in the end, Peter and Reader will be together, other close relationships are also formed with other characters, and the storyline doesn’t primarily revolve around them even if it is a 3rd person close on Reader. 
> 
> I’ve created an entire character of Reader, and told the story as if it was that: a story, because it is. (And if anyone was wondering/wanted to know, I picked a name to call Reader because I know some people read reader-inserts but create a whole new person for the name that I feel Reader would’ve picked because of its meaning. If anyone wants to know, all you gotta do is ask!)
> 
> I think His Warrior Angel is a prime example of when I get a really inspiring idea, there’s no way I can limit myself to just a single oneshot like this was supposed to be. lol. I just have no self control when it comes to writing, and the word count just grows higher and higher until I decide it’s enough and I told enough. 
> 
> I love hearing everyone’s thoughts, so feel free to comment whenever you want!!


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